[Deviant Nation] AngelicWonder's Journal

sorry gang

AngelicWonder — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:23:39 GMT

I really am that I haven't been on and posting and discussing with all of you things that are going on in your lives and the world. I have been kind of caught up in my own little world the last few, anyhow I think I have worked out some things and am going for broke, for right now I am going to sub out the rest of the year and get a contract for next BUT am also going to start working on my business...if by August the business is supporting then by golly I will work it to the hilt :)

HUGS
S

thoughts and more thoughts

AngelicWonder — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 17:38:41 GMT

I have been thinking...and I have thought on this a bunch and now with everything that has happened it might be the perfect time. I am thinking of going into business for myself, targeting the 4th, 8th and 10-12th grade...the critical point grades....maybe just maybe...still pondering

loss

AngelicWonder — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:17:27 GMT

I have been thinking as I cleaned today that things are nuts in this world. I realize that I was the lowest on the "food chain" but let's be reasonable, anyone who would attack anothers character is definitely at risk of losing their spirit and mind. How else can you explain the blantant lies that were told...its amzaing absolutely amazing the lengths some will go to hide their own guilt

pondering the rights and wrongs

AngelicWonder — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 14:46:29 GMT

Sometimes in life we are faced with decisions that are at best difficult. Sometimes we have to stand up for what is right even though it will cost us dearly. Sometimes....sometimes

When faced with the dilemma of standing up for what is right and losing everything could you do it? I stand here today knowing I could, can and have...now I just have to find a job LOL

today

AngelicWonder — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:05:47 GMT

I dont know what to think of today. It was exhausting and draining and uplifting and all sorts of ings....we talked and talked....and we are friends, maybe a bit more..time will tell...he knows I am not waiting around for him to make a "decision" though LMAO

yada yada

AngelicWonder — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 14:21:53 GMT

Ok so called as requested this morning...and well not a whole heck of a lot got said LMAo...lot of good that did, am to call after work...we'll see *sigh* I could do with out the stress right now

No Subject

AngelicWonder — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 03:03:49 GMT

its nearly 9 and I know I need to get to bed, but I have a ton of thoughts rapaging through my head tonight and I can't clear them out enough to just stop and smell the coffee...and yes am drinking coffee tyring to get this crap all sorted out...OY

I HATE MEN....ok I dont but dammit why can't they just be straight forward and honest? Why do they have to play such childish games....straight fucking answers would be sooooooo nice once in awhile

Guys if you are reading this be honest for goodness sakes PLEASE

seeking looking yearhing?

AngelicWonder — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 01:30:26 GMT

ha...a true admission of terror here

or not...thought I had it ready to paste ok

so now I have it ready to paste

I have to quit fooling myself, Im not a switch or a Domme. I have extremely dominant tendancies and that is largely thanks to a wonderful Master who took the time to kick my butt a bit and wake me up to what was happening to me.I am NOT a bloody doormat and I will not be treated as one, so dont bother even messaging me if you want to just play.What I seek? FORGIVENESS and a chance to come home.

Obviously I wrote this for another site but I find I can express myself here and no one gives rats butt what I have to say except in support or as a friend...yall have rreally made me feel at home here...but ptera is gonna be pissed as hell when she gets around to reading this

grrr

AngelicWonder — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 14:40:51 GMT

Just when I think I can move on and be done with Him

he Ims or calls...we are meeting for lunch tomorrow

To talk...I dont know if I can live through this.....

part of me wants to curl up in a ball and part of me wants to slap the crap out of him and another part just wants held

heart

AngelicWonder — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 13:54:01 GMT

Why do I let that man into my heart

everytime I get around him I just want to give all to him

i cant stand him and I can't stand being without him

I can not deal with the poly and yet would give up everything to please him

DAMmIT....and damn him for being like he is....why in the hell couldn't he just have been happy the way things were

dating vs going out

AngelicWonder — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 21:47:32 GMT

Have you ever really pondered the difference? I mean really....

If you are in the Life of BDSM you dont date, they dont call it dating anyhow, you go out...maybe....usually it is a matter of one or the other working hard to build trust so that one or the other can whale the tar out of the other....

So who dates anymore or does everyone just go out.....sheesh

Some days I think I want to be courted LMAO

words

AngelicWonder — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 01:56:00 GMT

Have you ever noticed how word effect a person, its not just the word itself but how you say it and what you do with it.

I was talking to my dog....ok so I talk to the damned dog so what...and calling him an evil liittle shit from hell and because I was saying it in my do you want a treat voice he just wagged his tail and agreed with me.

So that said I am expanding my (and maybe your) vocabularies with some rich words today that mean terrible nasty things...but since most of those you want to insult anyhow are idiots they won't know the difference as long as you say it nicely

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Towers/3332/smith.html

Anyhow enjoy the words and the usage :))

dawn?

AngelicWonder — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 10:49:59 GMT

Why do I do this? What is the point of getting up at 3 am every morning....I could be tucked in bed sound asleep.

Needless to say I am up and drinking as much coffee as I can consume this morning.

lving with dreams

AngelicWonder — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 02:58:41 GMT

Everytime I close my eyes I see a vision so wonderous that I can't help but cry

I see you there I know you are there and yet, just out of reach

A deadly blow to the realm of reality if I could but just touch the tips of Your fingers

could but just reach that little space

but then I wake and all is gone

Greetings and salutations

AngelicWonder — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 00:55:23 GMT

Well kn Im here, as requested. Looks like I am probably the oldest person here too. What can I say. Im just me, there isn't any great wealth of knowledge to impart to you.

I have been in the Life for a little over 26 years. Yes I started very young. I have been a sub, a slave and a doormat. and if you don't know the difference, ask me. Right now I am spreading my wings and growing my Domme side.

I have tried alot of the kinks and fetishes out there, and much of the D/s play that is available. I have a few hard limits and some soft ones....

Any questions feel free to ask

This journal will be updated, expanded, rambled along and even have poetry posted as I get more comfy around here :)

BW A/all who come and read this