[Deviant Nation] Brainless's Journal

There are few absolute truths in life but...

Brainless — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 15:08:27 GMT

...this remains the greatest video ever.

Beware the Internet

Brainless — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 00:44:03 GMT

Some folks that I am trying to get to finance an endeavor of mine sent me an email asking if I wrote this letter to Sports Illustrated (It's under the "Red State" heading). I was a little concerned, after all, they seemed to be asking out of annoyance. So I replied "yes" and they noted that it was pretty impressive to get a letter published there because of the sheer volume that they get.

I have to say, if that's all they dug up on the internet about me Hooray! Maybe my future in politics is safe...

However, it's creepy none the less.

I admit, I'm a genius. (also... my shit)

Brainless — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:27:16 GMT

For quite a while I have been rambling on about what a sinkhole California is and how (with the worlds 5th largest economy) it would manage to self destruct because of the crazy overflow of elite liberal idealism coupled with crazy elitist consumerism.

Now, mind you, I do like all the boob jobs....

However, as I dutifully predicted nearly 4 years ago. California has officially run out of money - to the point that even the greediest foreign governments don't want to float them a loan.

It's now day two, and when I shit it still doesn't smell like lemons.

Update!

Brainless — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:03:08 GMT

I took a shit today, it didn't smell like flowers.

So much for change....

So wait....

Brainless — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:22:17 GMT

...I guess my Vote for Barr didn't put him over the top.

So, tomorrow, when I shit it's supposed to smell like flowers right?

A newspaper guy asked outside why I voted for Barr. I said "Some people voted for 'change' I voted for my own piece of mind".

I gotta go cook my books now, the tax guys coming... :)

World Fucking Champions!

Brainless — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:47:52 GMT

Great speech Chase...

...FCC wants their check.

I'm an asshole (Chiddu arrusti u so pesci nte ciammi di l'incediu)

Brainless — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:41:50 GMT

(note: this post is approximately 5 years old. I make slight edits and repost every now and then when inspired to do so).

Step right up folks! Enjoy the Fun! See the amazing ape with his opposable thumbs!

I stand before you a simple man, a sly dog, a politician. It's no secret that I can be an abrasive fellow. I imagine that every person that has bothered to plunk my name down on their friends list or stumbled across me in a fourm at some point has had an axe to grind in the teeth of my superior sneer. I used to call it the price to pay for being honest. The truth, however, is that honesty isn't a premium currency when it soften purchases regret and hostility.

What can I say? It's no secret, I'm an asshole.

It's a condition. Sometimes I think the entire frame work of my existence has been built on conditions, like an ivory tower in a pig field. It may look good, but it still smells like shit. You see, my license to make fun of everyone comes from a very simple truth: I am the biggest joke of all. Now, I must say, don't expect some profound Wizard of Oz revelation. I'm not about to admit that I am really that insecure man behind the curtain. I am everything that I say I am, and everything that you think I am.

I'm an asshole.

I believe all the things that I say to you, I just wonder if any of it is true... My head is in the window, my foot is in the door, and my fork is in the Mulligan stew. I'm a funny guy - a very funny guy. The people I meet in my life rarely forget me, I am after all the life of the party; a story teller of the grandest sort. But you see, that is the greatest irony of all. Humor is the product of an intelligent, but bitter mind. Humor is always at the expense of someone. Yet, we all want a mate with a good sense of humor - or in reality - one with an equal tinge of venemous self-justification.

Words, like bullets, are impossible to stop once you let them go.

You'll be shocked! Amazed! Even horrified! That so much can be so compromised...

I was commenting to a friend just the other day that I rarely have a conversation that I have not dictated. It's a challenge to me really. It seems a harmless fun, leading a lemming to the cliff. However, I had noticed that when I talked to this person I found myself caught off guard - often. It was then that I realized I was actually listening to this person - and enjoying it. So I made a point, as a few have noticed, to engage people more.

And that's all I have to say about that....

If I take a shit in your perfect world, it's only so you'll know me by my smell...

So what are the resolutions to my revelations? Nothing, of course. Like the great Pop-Eye, I am what I am and not much about that is going to change anytime soon. So I have embarked on the only real way that we as people can change society. Revolution via procreation. I have committed the time that I have on this planet to teaching my daughter about all the great things in life. I work hard to do the greatest thing that I could do as a father, make sure that she does not become me .

I hope to instill in her the great things that I see in other people every day, great things that I often fall short of. Certainly, it's a losing battle, and I am often afraid that I am setting her up to fail. I may be jaded, but I still believe this world is designed to crush and grind people until they become less then what could be. They become people who accept spite as humor. That's no life, not when you look at it from the end game, not when you are reaching back trying to take solace in your great memories only you discover they were the product of jealous anger.

So, against my better judgement, I teach my daughter about an ideal world. A place where humor is simply fun, a place where people actually care beyod their own convenience; a world where doing the right thing will benefit more oft then not. So, in my head, I can't help but think I may be making a mistake, but in my heart I imagine her growing up to be someone who might actually make a difference in this world.

Oh, what a thing that would be...

Warning: Angry Politics WIthin (Possible Bigot Rammifications)

Brainless — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:54:54 GMT

Ok, I can't take it. The political landscape is buzzing with the news that Powell has thrown his support behind Obama - liberals and Democrats rejoice.

Help me out on this....

He, yes he, while knowing he was using sketchy information, sold the UN and the world on the massive machine of death that was brewing in Iraq.

Powell was a direct cause for the death of thousands of US soldiers, the maiming of thousands more, and the elimination of a few hundred thousand Iraq civilians.

A direct cause....

...without Powell selling the war, there is no war.

So, why does Powell get all this love and admiration, because he "felt bad afterward?" No.

I'll state the obvious, it's because he is a "well spoken" black man, period. Some will want to skirt around that fact, they'd be wrong to do so. If Powell looked like McCain, people would want him in a cell next to W. It's a side-effect of America's patronizing racism towards those "well speaking" black people.

Some fool will take my opinion for bigotry, but they'd just be ignorant. Take a long hard look at how one of the most culpable in the war fiasco is suddenly worthy of a cabinet seat when Obama is elected and tell me I am wrong.... please.

To qualify my non-racists nature: I feel the urge to mention that I have only been banging black and mexican girls for like a year now. :)

I admit... I welled up a bit.

Brainless — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 03:40:08 GMT

School Day.

Brainless — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:25:37 GMT

This year they replaced WOP day with Jew day in my towns public schools.

Politically correct people ruin the world. I liked WOP day. If we are going to start holding some dead people against historic figures we're gonna need to start printing money with no faces on it.

Seriously, Lincoln? Motherfucking LINCOLN? That bastard did to the South what the Russians did to Chechnya, but hey, he still gets his day. Lincoln didn't free the slaves any more than I freed Nelson Mandela.

We should replace historic figures with famous game show hosts.

All About Me.

Brainless — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:38:20 GMT

With my political schedule, band reunion "mini-tour", and damage control on the monumental economic downturn that my lifestyle is going through, I really haven't had much time to putter around here. That kinda sucks, I dig this place.

Ewww....

Brainless — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:12:12 GMT

One of the Mexican laborers working on my addition just lopped off a chunk of finger. I bandaged him up pretty good, gave him a beer and a Vicodin, and now he is waiting for his boss to arrive.

While I am impressed with my emergency medical skills, I am reminded of the sacrifices these illegal immigrants make to provide better lives for their families. Obviously, the reason he is waiting instead of going to get sewn up immediately is fear of losing his job - I hope the contractor brings a sewing kit. Although I'd consider giving it a try...

What people want from a relationship.

Brainless — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 03:38:09 GMT

People have long lists of what they are looking for from someone in a relationship. They all sound nice, but I always found them to be a bit disingenuous. Personally, once one gets out of their teens, I find that people are always seeking one thing: redemption; the opportunity for a clean slate and a person to tell them that they are, in fact, better than they think they are.

New Family Member

Brainless — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:04:25 GMT

We have a new toy coming to the house. [click]

Poetry?

Brainless — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 18:35:59 GMT

I really don't write much poetry, but I was inspired by the opportunity to engage my mastery of the profane into a soft and subtle poem...

Deviant Nation turned me into a poet.

Today....

Brainless — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:41:56 GMT

...both presidential candidate came out against satire.

You people are fucked either way.

Ouch

Brainless — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:34:41 GMT

I finally put off the inevitable and went to my number cruncher to asses just how much damage the current economy is impacting my "estate" so to speak. The amount of money that I have lost over the past 19 months is, quite literally, staggering. I laugh a bit, I could never have imagined being able to lose that much 15 years ago when I couldn't buy a vowel, but it's a kick in the ball sack none the less.

Unfortunately, with the impending election of a Democrat president, the market isn't going to change much, as the normal shift to commodities (normal during Democrat presidencies) waits to occur.

On a side note, I am going to bid for the home directly across from mine. As with many homes, it was foreclosed, so it will go up for auction. Now, I imagine that the house will sell for about 70% of the debt load currently on the home. This means that the people that owned the home will not only have shit credit but be in the hole for that money as well. The problem is this: I was very good friends with those people, but I simply never would have bought the home at their selling price. I am never very comfortable turning a buck on the bad fortune of others, this is no exception.

Oh yeah, the contractor in the middle of building an addition on my home just went under. Go me.

I guess, that's enough venting.

Todays Social Exchange.

Brainless — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:17:18 GMT

woman: wahoooo (sniffle)...

Me: Bless you.

Woman: Oh, I really don't need that, I'm an atheist.

Me: I was blessing you, dipshit.

Woman: *puzzled look*

I flew across the world...

Brainless — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:13:48 GMT

...and ended up fucking a girl from Yonkers. Go figure...

Taking a Trip

Brainless — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 13:53:51 GMT

Murriali, cità senza cunfortu, o chiovi o mina ventu o sona a mortu.

I'm taking the kids to Sicily for a week or so. Probably take them to the Cathedral of Murriali (or Monreale in English). If there is ever a building that one can get the direct line to God in, that one certainly is it.

Anyway, it's important that my kids stay in touch with their heritage, as I still think of us as Sicilians first and Americans second... we're just here to grab some of yer cash, they don't have much in Palermo.

Anyway, just in case someone goofball actually noticed my absence...

My Gun, Me, And More Liberal Bigotry.

Brainless — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:57:00 GMT

First, congrats on the supreme court telling DC to go fuck themselves and allowing people to keep handguns in their homes. Word.

Second, justice Stevens actually wrote this.... I think he is afraid of black people with guns.

"In my view, there simply is no untouchable constitutional rightguaranteed by the Second Amendment to keep loaded handguns in the house in crime-ridden urban areas."

George Carlin....

Brainless — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:23:07 GMT

...covered my political view quite well.

"Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here… like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. Fuck Hope.'"

MY OPINION ON LP

Brainless — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:59:18 GMT

I prefer them to CDs but I actually like 8 tracks a little bit better. The LP was definitely better than a cassette because they were much easier to fast forward and you could always read the liner notes. LPs certainly smoke ipods, there's just too much damn music on an ipod, it's like a mixed tape but much much worse.

A Father in Spirit.

Brainless — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:37:59 GMT

My daughter got a letter in the mail yesterday, when she got up this morning, we remembered to open it.

Dear Amelia,

I am writing you this letter on behalf of my Son, Private XXXXXXX. He has thoroughly enjoyed the letters that you have been sending him during his tour in Iraq. You write excellent stories and he has shared your little books with many of his friends. He appreciated your prayers and your jokes. I think that getting to know an outstanding child like yourself inspired him to want to start his own family.

Unfortunately, God decided that it was time for XXXXXXX to go to heaven, and we are sure that he will continue to protect the children that you worry about from up there. You are special, and I will never be able to put in words how much impact your letters can have. We hope that you will find another to write and send your stories to.

God bless you, Amelia.

Sincerely,
Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxxxxx

I love women's Tennis

Brainless — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 12:33:47 GMT

Seriously, it's the greatest sport on the planet, these Eastern block girls are drinking some good water...