[Deviant Nation] Chixor's Journal

Weeeeeeeeeeee this is just what I needed!

Chixor — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:23:05 GMT

Ive been waiting and contacting the Med school for a year now, about them doing a Post-Bacc Pre-Med program for those wishing to change careers etc, and get into Med School.
This was all at the urging of a very supportive Forensics instructor at my old University.

They finally emailed me today, letting me know they are officially taking applicants.
I totally meet and exceed minimum requirements, and I am so excited im bouncing off the wall and vomiting rainbows.

This is my one chance, I have to do this or im going to spend the rest of my life asking "What if...."

Cabin fever sets in.

Chixor — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:07:11 GMT

Starting to go a little stir crazy.
This will be TMI I'm sure, but I havent gone since before my surgery last week.

I saw a news piece the other day talking about a murder for hire case that was being re-tried here in town. I turned on "Snapped" this morning, and it was a show about that same said murder case.
Spooky!

Vroom Vroom.

Chixor — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:36:46 GMT

Today is a day for vehicles.
I watched Casino Royale last night, I have spent all day fantasizing about the DB9.
What a delicious car indeed.
I also got linked to the VW Toureg V12 TDI Racer....hmmm...

I then got a call from Bandit to let me know that my scooter went out on the truck today, as the dude had put his back out sunday and it took him a while to get through the performance upgrade my scoot scoot was getting.

Sadly it probably wont be here for the weekend, but it will be here in time for the Thanksgiving break so I can get an opportunity to ride it in lighter traffic.
Instead of zooming around on it this weekend, I'll be heading out to shop for my Helmet, Gloves and winter gear.

We got DirectTV installed today, and have a DVR again, so there goes all my free time at the weekends.
I also think im going to start trying to do full time hours on ChaCha again, get some monies in for the start of the year.
Ive got a trip to London in March to plan out, and the word is that Lex is going to take me to EuroDisney for a day or two. How sweet <3
While i'm doing that, wes is being shipped to vegas for a debaucherous week with his best friend.

I would say Hooray for Humpday being over, but since there is no transition between my week and weekend coming up, its just all going to roll into one.

Sinclair messaged me today, to let me know she might be coming to see me this weekend.
Hooray!

Sitting up!

Chixor — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:26:13 GMT

Today I am kinda sorta sitting up.
I wont over do it, but its nice to see everything upright for a change.

People seem to think that instead of having surgery, I actually have some contagious disease that prevents me/them from hanging out. This makes me a sad Chixor.
Oh well.

The cold weather has finally hit louisville, but no, there is and wont be any snow for a long time.
This is good, because I want to be fit enough to frolick in the snow when it does get here.

The painkillers have been helping, yet they cant shift a headache for some reason, this is lame.

Happy Humpday!

No Sleep, Till Bed time.

Chixor — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:29:31 GMT

Winter is finally making its way here, so perfect excuse for snuggling in blankets.
Now if only I could sleep, and dream of marshmallows and hot chocolate, and fluffy snuggley clouds.

NO SLEEP FOR YOU!

Instead I sleepy, sore and hungry.

I really want to play Animal Crossing:City Folk some more, but i too tired.
Instead i'll shower, and watch Lost instead i think.

I hope wes brings something yummy home to eat.
Im hungry.

Aaaah.....so thats what they do.

Chixor — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:52:15 GMT

When the painkillers really wear off?
Ouchies!

Boring and gross...

Chixor — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 13:09:19 GMT

Today I hit the Trifecta!
No sadly not an awesome call on the horses that brough me home a bunch of money.
My Trifecta consists of, Surgery pain, Back pain, and now my lovely Aunt Flo has come to visit.

Urgh.

As you can imagine, I am chewing on the Lortab like they are tic tacs, which in turn leaves me jubbly and woozy.
The show for tonight will quite possibly be postponed a day or two, it's kinda hard to see straight to write some show notes.

So today I shall drift in and out of sleep, and then play some Animal Crossing:City Folk (once wes brings it home from the store).

No showers or moving today, when I tried that yesterday I almost passed out and puked my load.

Now to dream of me riding on rainbows with my scooter.
All the gas I need comes from my rainbow coloured butt!

In my world I dance with Care Bears, and their cousins, in the forest of feelings....weeeee

DN Bear Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare! (DN Bear by Pendrick <3)

Oh and one more moment of utter fangirl goofiness,
Getting a comment on my flickr pic from coop.
The pic was one of me from my teenage years, and he said it made him feel like a dirty old man XD

Squeeeeeeeee

I <3 Coop and his art OH SO MUCH!!!!

Look whats being shipped out to me on monday...

Chixor — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:21:09 GMT

....i got better.

Chixor — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:42:35 GMT

Im alive! Barely!

I'll give you a the highlights of yesterday, since i honestly dont know too much about it.
We got to the hospital early, and they took me in on time, I still ended up late into the OR because the nurses kept disappearing, and then a new one would appear.

I saw 4 nurses before I went in for surgery, only 1 of them my actual assigned nurse, and honestly all she said to me was "pretty nails".
The one nurse putting in my IV, despite being warned my veins have a tendancy to collapse real easy, bruised up the back of my hand pretty bad, then ended up having to put the IV in my wrist. Which now looks like its been chewed on by the cat.

Another nurse, who was taking my vitals had issues taking them from my ankles and had to take my socks off.
I hate people touching my feet.

Get wheeled off to the OR and hooked up to the passing out drugs....

Then I dont remember anything.

...I must have been a PITA to wake up thogh ( i mean I am a narcoleptic and boy do i love my sleep) but I woke up to 2 nurses giving me some good old slaps to the face.
Ouch.

Once i'd had a cracker, and some sprite they wheeled me off to another recovery room and brought wes in.
We were there for about an hour or so, watching SVU and me with an ice pack strapped to my butt.

Then they ripped out the IV's got me up and dressed and off home I came.

I didnt once get to speak to the Dr after my surgery, so all I can go on is the few bits of info wes was given.
I dont think im too happy about that part.

But im home, they say the cystectomy went well as it wasnt infected at the time, so not too deep and they were able to give me stitches.
The exploritory surgery, as expected, found nothing visible to explain the bleeding, but I knew that would happen.
3rd time ive had that particular surgery for the same thing, so same results.
They took some biopsies though and Im supposed to go back and see the Dr in a few weeks for those results.

Im home with antibiotics for teh wound, and a mountain of pain killers.
The most awkward part is not being able to sit or lie on my back boy does that hurt, and typing on my tummy is really uncomfortable, so this will be the longest post i'll make for about a week.
Arent you glad? XD

This is a mopey entry, if you dont want to read move on.

Chixor — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:16:14 GMT

Guh I feel miserable right about now.
This liquid diet for the hospital tomorrow SUCKS. They have me drinking 2 little bottles of Fleets Phospho soda. It is DISGUSTING.
Ive had so much cranberry juice today, that if i drink a single drop more Im going to throw up horrendously and never drink cranberry juice again.

I was allowed to eat jello, so i came running home and jumped with excitement to eat some jello, and it sucked.
Did not satisfy.
The phosphosoda has me running to the bathroom every time i take a breath.
Im going to try and just go to sleep now and wake up in time for surgery tomorrow so this can all go away.

Nil by mouth...

Chixor — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:23:24 GMT

I feel sorry for wes and lex today.
They not only have to deal with the raging bitch that can often become me when im PMSing, but they have to deal with me on my pre-op liquid diet.

All I can consume from now until midnight is clear liquids.
Broth and fruit juice (no pulp) mostly, and some saline laxatives.

What kind of person ensures that a pmsing chick cant wallow in a jar of Nutella to make her feel better?
The sounds escaping my tummy cavity already signal its protest. hehe.

The surgery has been moved up tomorrow, from 1pm to 11am, so now i have to get there by 930am.

Wes is going to be my news ticker and update twitter regularly with the progress, so if you havent followed him already, and you want to know how im doing: http://www.twitter.com/justwes.

Although this is my journal and I feel i should be able to say whatever I want here, I will try to avoid putting you through many many journals of misery today.

I know I know it took me long enough

Chixor — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:11:37 GMT

Episodes 5 and 6 of DN Radio are now available for download via iTunes.

Next sunday we will be having a show, depending on how im feeling and my mobility I may have wes join in with us to help me out some.

Im also going to contact a few people and try to set up interviews for the future.

Who do you want to hear on the show, and what do you want to ask them????

Do you want to be on the show? What do you want to talk about?

People have asked me about sending in emails (dnradio@me.com) and about leaving voicemails (415) 578-3294.

It doesnt matter what you say in these, it can be on Topic or not, We would like to hear what your thoughts are of DN, the Models, the Radio show, any forum topics you want to discuss.

It doesnt matter how much or how little you have to say, we want to hear from all of you on the show!!!!!

This sundays discussion is going to be about Fears and Phobias!

So write in or call in and share your fears and Phobias with us, i know at least one person *looks at StValentine* who has some interesting fears/phobias!

For once...

Chixor — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:53:23 GMT

.. I have actually sat on my hands and NOT blogged while incredibly angry.

I have spared ye! ....Or maybe I havent?

Someone said to me last night: "you make things up in your mind so you can keep people at bay., you keep them at arms length and push them away so you can avoid getting hurt, but you DO hurt, when we just want to love you, and dote on you"

Is it really so wrong that I keep a barrier between me and those people I dont want fully in my circle/life?
As most of you have, Ive been pretty hurt by the few people ive allowed into my "inner circle" if thats what you want to call it.

I mean generally I am friendly and open to all, but I still have reservations about what some people are and are not allowed to know.

Since when was someone else's opinion of me the deciding factor of how I classify them?
Whether it be Lover, Friend, Acquaintence or Foe?

Last night I was angry, today I think I care very little about it.
As I said on sunday, most of the people who have known me long enough, know where they stand in regards to my friendship.
They also know when my walls are up and so time to back off for a bit.

In reality the person who decided to "analyze" me has only known me for 4 months. There are many of you who have known me for years upon years (after all last week was my 3rd Anniversary here) and you still sometimes go "Chix, WTF is up with your head?" heh.

But for those I love and care about, I appreciate those prods and the fact that you ask me whats going on. You dont tell me how I am, you at least respect me that much.

But for someone to make assumptions from my actions and words without pondering the true meaning, theyre not worth my time and obviously dont care that much.
It was just 4 months anyway, It certainly takes more than 4 months to get to know the real me.

What a day ....seriously.

Chixor — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:02:41 GMT

I started this journal, but I had to erase everything because I was interrupted and lost my train of thought, and I really have nothing nice to say about anyone in the world tonight.

Goodnight.

Fuck this!

Chixor — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 13:59:14 GMT

Fuck this job!
Skeletor says "Oh I know she has surgery and obviously she needs time off, but im still taking my vacation day next week cause I have a birthday party in the evening!"

Fuck you Skeletor, and fuck you bosses for feeling that this is acceptable behaviour.
Kiss my ass!

Wooo what an interesting week this will be.

Chixor — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:29:35 GMT

I had my surgery consult today and its all go.
So friday I work from home from 7am-10am.
11am I check in at the hospital.
1pm I go in for surgery.

The chickadee did some "checking me out" for one of the things im going in for, and cant find anything that could possibly cause the problems im experiencing. So the exploritory procedure for that will be interesting.
Then there is the cyst removal.

I will be unable to lay on my back/sit up for a few days to a week, so that means I'm looking at about a week off work.

I just emailed the boss (new hire and skeletor) to break the news.
I have no idea how they are going to take this, but hey, Its my health, I need this stuff done and have for over a year.

So here is where i start to have issues.
Justifying the need to take this time for my surgery.
Now im even working out how I can possibly still work during my week of rest after surgery.

Somebody stop me from being dumb enough to commiting to that.

DN Radio in less than an hour!

Chixor — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:17:12 GMT

The DN Radio show will be live in less than an hour.
I must say though im a little disappointed, no emails AGAIN, and only 1 voicemail.

Im keeping on with the show, because to be honest, Jersey, Arin and I have a good old time with or without you, but if you want the show to continue, we really would like to see some audience participation.

The show goes live at 5pm EST.

Click here to listen to the show at that time.

Boobies, Babies and Bruises!

DN Radio Tonight! 5pm EST

Chixor — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:43:18 GMT

Call DN Radio: (415) 578-3294
Email:dnradio@me.com
DN Radio Twitter: dnradio
Subscribe via iTunes:
http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=%20291651679
Skype: Chixor1

If you want to participate in the chat you have to use skype, please dont call me during the show, send me a message and i'll call you.

Topic for today: Boobs, Babies and Bruises.

Please have your emails and voicemails sent in no later than 4pm EST.

See you tonight!

Meh

Chixor — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:46:49 GMT

I posted a journal, but my laptop crapped out.

Get to spend tonight looking over sets show while in SF, and work out stuff for the radio show tomorrow night.

WHat do you want to talk about?

Hooray for the weekend

Chixor — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 00:20:34 GMT

Im so glad its the weekend, its time for me to rest.

I had my appointment at the Dr's today, I'm finally going to get the surgery I need to take care of my cyst.
We addressed the other problem I was having and thanks to my awesome iPhone I could show the Dr how badly I was bleeding on a regular basis.
Once he saw it and I explained about how tired I'd been and that I was worried I was getting a wee bit anaemic from bleeding so much, he hopped on the phone to the surgeon.

Thankfully the surgeon is a twofer. They'll be able to do the surgery for both conditions.

So I go see her monday afternoon.
Hooray.

Now to sleep.

Henry Rollins

Chixor — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:27:25 GMT

Was pretty awesome last night.
Through all his funnies, he was still very inspiring.
Made me want to sell up everything and go work for some charitable Organization somewhere. so I could at least feel that my skills were doing something good/worthwhile.
It would also fulfill my need/want/desire to travel the world.

Alas here I am, sitting in the hell that is my desk in crappy New Albany. Doing the same mundane thing I do every day.
Today was a teeny bit different, I blew up at Skeletor. He is so totally condescending, and kept interrupting with his own questions and suggestions when I was working on a problem with the new hire.

He waddled back to his desk, with his mangled raptor arms, with his tail between his legs.

I got word from my mum today that my step-daddies surgery went well.
She's going in to the Hospital to see him tonight, he's up and about and eating small stuff so thats a good sign.

I finally made an appointment to go see the Dr tomorrow.
I'll discuss with him having surgery for my cyst, and then why on earth ive been losing so much blood the last couple of weeks.

Today it was really bad and it scared me.
Im starting to think that maybe my tiredness etc over the last few weeks could be a mild anaemia brought on by the blood loss, but I guess I'll find out for sure tomorrow.

Where were you?

Chixor — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:32:40 GMT

I know Aries asked this same question but im not necessarily asking it again.
This time Im contemplating the enormity of a question like that for people of our generation.

Have you ever noticed that this question is normally asked regarding events of tragedy?

Where were you when JFK was assasinated? (wasnt born yet)
Where were you when John Lennon was killed? (wasnt born yet)
Where were you during the Waco siege?
Where were you when Princess Diana died? (watching Freddie as F.R.O.7 on Sky)
Where were you when Jill Dando was murdered? (riding in the car with my friend Fiona and her mum)
Where were you when Donald Dewar died? (working at BSkyB)
Where were you when the Twin Towers fell? (Glued tot he TV in my bed in Scotland)
Where were you when the Space Shuttle Columbia re-entered? (getting my nails done)

But for the first time in my life, when asked "Where were you?" It wont be regarding somethig tragic or morose, it will be about a "New day!"
It wasnt all cheers and celebration last night, we have still seen that despite the changing society, there are still some major hurdles we need to over come.
But it's a step in the right direction.

It's been roughly 40 years since this country experienced its last civil rights movement, and here you are today with a Black President-Elect.

I just hope its not another 40 years before everyone in the country, regardless of sex, age, color, creed, religion, or sexual orientation is seen as equal.

Hooray

Chixor — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:09:29 GMT

We may have won the war for now, but we have so many more small battles to fight.

Shame on you Florida and Arkansas.

Come on Cali, please dont let me down.

Scary day!

Chixor — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:58:49 GMT

Today I iz scared, for 2 reasons.
The first is because my Step-Daddy was having surgery today for some nerve issues, that could be potentially very dangerous. :(
The second is because although I cant vote, this feels like the scariest election ever.

Can it be wednesday now?
At least I get to go see Henry Rollins tomorrow.

Big Daddy Does San Francisco.

Chixor — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 03:49:46 GMT

The perfect end to a really good day today.
Logging in to see that Cooter had posted his pics from the DN event. Cooter is so wonderful at taking these kind of pics, they really are awesome.

I love this lady oh so much...

This looks like im trying to catch something on my tongue....

z0mg I is sooooo tiny.....

...and finally, what Big Daddy wants, Big Daddy gets...when he tells you "Look Scared!!" You look scared!

Goodnight my deviants.
Love you <3