[Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. Deviant Nation We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. We are striving to combine community, subculture, artistic expression and erotica all at once. Deviant Nation satan@deviantnation.com Girls,Pinup,Tattoo,Pierced,Goth,Punk,Rockabilly,emo,Metal,Subcultures yes http://deviantnation.com/girls/CrazyWhiteGirl en-us Copyright 2003-2008 Deviant Nation, Inc. satan@deviantnation.com Sat, 15 Mar 2003 07:00:00 GMT Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:27:36 GMT 60 DN Logo http://i.deviantnation.com/i/dn-logo-small.png http://deviantnation.com Deviant Nation 76 144 Can't keep my hands out the cookie jar http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/79327 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Members Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Members Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/79327/#comments 1 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/79327 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/79327 Tue, 07 Oct 2008 09:45:33 GMT Viva La White Girl http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77858 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Members Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Members Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77858/#comments 2 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/77858 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77858 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:40:27 GMT Auston/Houston http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77462 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Members Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Members Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77462/#comments 1 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/77462 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/77462 Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:18:19 GMT UR SO GAY http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76992 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <div style="text-align: right;"><b><span style="font-size: larger;">I hope you hang yourself with your H&amp;M scarf<br /> While jacking off listening to Mozart<br /> You bitch and moan about LA<br /> Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway<br /> You don&rsquo;t eat meat<br /> And drive electrical cars<br /> You&rsquo;re so indie rock it&rsquo;s almost an art<br /> You need SPF 45 just to stay alive<br /> <br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like&hellip;<br /> <br /> You&rsquo;re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal<br /> You&rsquo;re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal<br /> Secretly you&rsquo;re so amused<br /> That nobody understands you<br /> I&rsquo;m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head<br /> I&rsquo;m so angry cause you&rsquo;d rather MySpace instead<br /> I can&rsquo;t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than&hellip;<br /> <br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like&hellip;<br /> <br /> You walk around like you&rsquo;re oh so debonair<br /> You pull &lsquo;em down and there&rsquo;s really nothing there<br /> I wish you would just be real with me<br /> <br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> Oh no no no no no no no<br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> You&rsquo;re so gay and you don&rsquo;t even like boys<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like<br /> No you don&rsquo;t even like&hellip; </span><span style="font-size: medium;">PENIS<br /> <br /> </span></b></div> <div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm no longer happier than I've been since I've lived in this fast shithole wasteland (it's not as great as Vicki makes it look. Seriously, FUCK New Mexico. FUCK the desert. FUCK IT ALL.&nbsp; I got dumped because &quot;it's not you, it's me.&quot;&nbsp; He was an alcoholic and fell off the wagon. My mother said it was my fault. It was my fault because I drink sometimes and sometimes I have in front of him ONLY BECAUSE HE SAID IT WAS OK AND HE WAS COMFORTABLE WITH IT. Hahaha no really I did hold a rocket launcher to his head and force him to have those 5 Irish car bombs. Then another 10 beers. I'm so stupid.&nbsp;</span></div> Blog yes I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no no
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS
I'm no longer happier than I've been since I've lived in this fast shithole wasteland (it's not as great as Vicki makes it look. Seriously, FUCK New Mexico. FUCK the desert. FUCK IT ALL.  I got dumped because "it's not you, it's me."  He was an alcoholic and fell off the wagon. My mother said it was my fault. It was my fault because I drink sometimes and sometimes I have in front of him ONLY BECAUSE HE SAID IT WAS OK AND HE WAS COMFORTABLE WITH IT. Hahaha no really I did hold a rocket launcher to his head and force him to have those 5 Irish car bombs. Then another 10 beers. I'm so stupid. 
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76992/#comments 2 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/76992 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76992 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 07:05:43 GMT The taste of her cherry Chapstick. http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76763 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Members Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Members Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76763/#comments 1 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/76763 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/76763 Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:15:43 GMT I just sneezed 3 times http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/75546 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Brutal!<br /> <br /> I'm going to my first baseball game tonight. I think. My cars check engine light is on and I don't wanna be driving it around with it on. My car fixy place is closed today. Hopefully Eddie's friends can give us a ride or something. My mom was gonna let us use her car but she has to go somewhere today. Fiddlesticks! I hope we get to go. I hate baseball but I like beer and the boy said he'd buy me all I wanted so woopty woop!<br /> <br /> We went to Texas Roadhouse last night for dinner since he got paid yesterday. Yum yum!<br /> <br /> I think a fuckin spider bit my arm last night. I have a hurty bite on it today <img width="33" height="29" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/death.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> the end fuckers. Oh yeah I love hot naked sluts! And hot naked classy ladies! Naked is just good however those babies roll <img width="23" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/dancing_fire.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> </span></b></span> Blog yes Brutal!

I'm going to my first baseball game tonight. I think. My cars check engine light is on and I don't wanna be driving it around with it on. My car fixy place is closed today. Hopefully Eddie's friends can give us a ride or something. My mom was gonna let us use her car but she has to go somewhere today. Fiddlesticks! I hope we get to go. I hate baseball but I like beer and the boy said he'd buy me all I wanted so woopty woop!

We went to Texas Roadhouse last night for dinner since he got paid yesterday. Yum yum!

I think a fuckin spider bit my arm last night. I have a hurty bite on it today

the end fuckers. Oh yeah I love hot naked sluts! And hot naked classy ladies! Naked is just good however those babies roll
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/75546/#comments 2 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/75546 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/75546 Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:04:04 GMT Thank you Sierra Nevada http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74853 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="font-size: medium;">I've been drinking my aunts leftover beer that she left when she went back to Oregon after her visit here. Man, gross stuff. Not gross like Bud Lite gross but weird micro brews from Santa Fe and gross wheat beers. But yeah I finished them off and then promised myself I'd let myself drink my Sierra Nevada (I think it's good, if you don't then drink my beer pee <img width="40" height="17" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/stab.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />). Right now I'm on a Fat Tire kick tho. I go thru phases because I get tired of the same old thing. Like I do with men. Sorry Eddie. hehehe<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> Anyways. <br /> <br /> I am supposed to be writing in journals more but when I write my hand starts to hurt cuz I'm so damn aggressive. So I will write in these &quot;blogs&quot; which are apparently one of the roots of all that is evil. Boopity boop boop boooooooop. Beer rules. Sorry I'm drinking by myself tonight. I dunno how that happened. Uhhhhhhhhhh fuck. I just wanted some beers. And I had plenty. Here's some emoticons I love! (they are from DeviantNation.com ((which you should join)) to those reading my myspace and Live Journal) <br /> <br /> <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="10" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/robot2.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="14" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/stinky.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="20" height="30" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/nosepicker.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="31" height="18" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/typing.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="10" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/robot.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="40" height="40" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/love_lift.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="30" height="45" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/angel_to_hell.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/spanking.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/smoking.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="64" height="27" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/villagers.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="50" height="36" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/violin.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="23" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/dancing_fire.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> &nbsp;<img width="56" height="50" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/throw_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> Ok maybe more later. Nobody EVER get the Nokia 5300 XpressMusic phone. It's the WORST phone I've ever had. Yeah it's pretty and works as an MP3 player but who doesn't have an iPod these days anyways? (I don't really want you to answer that). This is the 3rd one of it's kind I've had because the first 2 crapped out in shitty ways and I had to exchange them. Unfortunately I couldn't exchange them for a better phone. I'm just waiting til I can upgrade. It sucks cuz I read a lot of good reviews about it. The camera fucking sucks on it. My last phone, a MotoRIZR, had an amazing camera with print out quality pictures. Everything about it was pretty great except it not being able to handle being dropped in the bath tub whilst trying to take nudie pics, haha totally kidding there buddy. <br /> <br /> I'm tired. Goodnight assholes. <img width="15" height="15" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/ninja2.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> </span><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes I've been drinking my aunts leftover beer that she left when she went back to Oregon after her visit here. Man, gross stuff. Not gross like Bud Lite gross but weird micro brews from Santa Fe and gross wheat beers. But yeah I finished them off and then promised myself I'd let myself drink my Sierra Nevada (I think it's good, if you don't then drink my beer pee ). Right now I'm on a Fat Tire kick tho. I go thru phases because I get tired of the same old thing. Like I do with men. Sorry Eddie. hehehe Anyways.

I am supposed to be writing in journals more but when I write my hand starts to hurt cuz I'm so damn aggressive. So I will write in these "blogs" which are apparently one of the roots of all that is evil. Boopity boop boop boooooooop. Beer rules. Sorry I'm drinking by myself tonight. I dunno how that happened. Uhhhhhhhhhh fuck. I just wanted some beers. And I had plenty. Here's some emoticons I love! (they are from DeviantNation.com ((which you should join)) to those reading my myspace and Live Journal)

                           

Ok maybe more later. Nobody EVER get the Nokia 5300 XpressMusic phone. It's the WORST phone I've ever had. Yeah it's pretty and works as an MP3 player but who doesn't have an iPod these days anyways? (I don't really want you to answer that). This is the 3rd one of it's kind I've had because the first 2 crapped out in shitty ways and I had to exchange them. Unfortunately I couldn't exchange them for a better phone. I'm just waiting til I can upgrade. It sucks cuz I read a lot of good reviews about it. The camera fucking sucks on it. My last phone, a MotoRIZR, had an amazing camera with print out quality pictures. Everything about it was pretty great except it not being able to handle being dropped in the bath tub whilst trying to take nudie pics, haha totally kidding there buddy.

I'm tired. Goodnight assholes.

]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74853/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/74853 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74853 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:02:39 GMT yay movies! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74557 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Friends Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Friends Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74557/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/74557 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/74557 Sun, 03 Aug 2008 21:01:51 GMT Jake! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73682 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I got a little dog and named him Jake! He's a 6 year old Pomeranian that has had a really rough life but he's loving it now! He loves and lives for me 100%&nbsp; He is completely happy in my lap or in my bed nursing on his bunny. I'm glad we got him and I'm glad he's happy and safe with us. His previous bitch cunt evil whore twat skank of an owner decided she didn't want him when she found out he wasn't a puppy. What a shit thing to do. I think having an adult dog that looks like a puppy is perfect! He's such a sweetie too, I love him <img width="56" height="50" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/throw_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/stro0dle/HPIM4037.jpg" alt="" /><br /> <br /> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/stro0dle/HPIM4038.jpg" alt="" /><br /> <br /> and then before he was groomed, very poofy!!<br /> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/stro0dle/HPIM1800.jpg" alt="" /><br /> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/stro0dle/HPIM1802.jpg" alt="" /><br /> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/stro0dle/HPIM1784.jpg" alt="" /><br /> &nbsp;</div> </span></span></span> Blog yes I got a little dog and named him Jake! He's a 6 year old Pomeranian that has had a really rough life but he's loving it now! He loves and lives for me 100%  He is completely happy in my lap or in my bed nursing on his bunny. I'm glad we got him and I'm glad he's happy and safe with us. His previous bitch cunt evil whore twat skank of an owner decided she didn't want him when she found out he wasn't a puppy. What a shit thing to do. I think having an adult dog that looks like a puppy is perfect! He's such a sweetie too, I love him




and then before he was groomed, very poofy!!



 
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73682/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/73682 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73682 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:08:46 GMT heartburn & cramps http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73060 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="font-size: larger;">Oh yeah what lovely things. My stomach has been pissing me off for a long time now. Like it feels like I ate way too much Taco Bell but I really didn't. Except for the other day when I ate a little too much Taco Bell. At least the pain was justified then. But today we went to the folk festival &quot;aftermath&quot; (for some reason that makes it sound pretty metal and bad ass but it totally was not. I guess anything with the words folk festival in them make whatever it is automatically not metal) &lt;--- that was a long parenthesis tangent. HA! Ok now I just didn't finish my sentence but fuck it that's how I roll <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/DancingDevil.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />&nbsp; Yeah anyways it was like a potluck kinda thing. I had some BBQ and dip and bread and potato salad and some things and 3 beers. I should have drank like 3249734 beers cuz those people brought sooo much beer and drank like none. There were 2 huge ice chests FULL of different kinds of beers. But I was starving when we got there so I filled up on food instead of beer. Oh well it's ok. Yeah it was pretty boring. There were a few nice people I talked to a little bit but I was really tired and it wasn't really my type of crowd. <br /> <br /> Next weekend is another Parrot Head party. It's the annual pool party. Oh joy. <img width="28" height="28" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/hide_box.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />There's not a fat insecure emoticon so I'll just use that one. Ho hum ho hum. *sigh sigh*&nbsp; My mom and I are trying shopping again tomorrow at Kohl's and I will try to find something decent to swim in. NOT a swim suit because I don't want to put anyone through that visual nightmare. <img width="64" height="32" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/throwup.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> I'm gonna try to find some board shorts and I think I have some bikini tops around somewhere and I guess if I get drunk enough I'll wear that and the shorts. And it will be at night around a bunch of other cool drunk people too so I guess it will be ok. Yeah it will be fine. I already have a boyfriend so it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone I just don't want to disgust anyone either or have people point and laugh and throw up at me <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/crying.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> ANYWAYS enough of the 1 person pity party. God I hate myself. <img width="50" height="36" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/violin.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />I love poker. I only play online for free because I don't have any real friends and also don't have any money. But I'm pretty damn good. I started playing on Facebook in tournaments and I'd say like 8 out of 10 I place at least 3rd. It's fun and super addicting <img width="38" height="34" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/bouncy.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> I talked to Ben about where to play if I ever actually start playing for money and he said Full Tilt is good and something else so I set up a free account on there. I'm pissed I just spent an hour playing this tourney and got 4th. <img width="29" height="26" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/oldman2.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> I'm pissed because 4th wins nothing. Argh.&nbsp;<br /> <br /> Anyways I couldn't sleep but now it's like over an hour later so I guess I'll go try again. I have court in the morning and have to take an hour + bus ride to get down there. I wish they allowed phones or at least had lockers or something where you could put them cuz I really hate being out and away from my phone. Godddddd I hate this place I can't wait to get out. 10 more fucking months. Ugh. <br /> <br /> Goodnight bitches.<br /> <br /> </span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img width="19" height="19" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />&nbsp; <img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />&nbsp; </span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /></span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /></span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img width="19" height="19" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />&nbsp; <img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> </span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /></span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /></span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> <img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> </span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /></span><span style="font-size: larger;"><img width="32" height="22" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/devil_heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <span style="font-size: xx-large;">R&nbsp; e&nbsp; n&nbsp; e&nbsp; e&nbsp;&nbsp; M&nbsp; a&nbsp; r&nbsp; i&nbsp; e </span><br /> </span><span style="font-size: larger;"><br type="_moz" /> </span><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Oh yeah what lovely things. My stomach has been pissing me off for a long time now. Like it feels like I ate way too much Taco Bell but I really didn't. Except for the other day when I ate a little too much Taco Bell. At least the pain was justified then. But today we went to the folk festival "aftermath" (for some reason that makes it sound pretty metal and bad ass but it totally was not. I guess anything with the words folk festival in them make whatever it is automatically not metal) <--- that was a long parenthesis tangent. HA! Ok now I just didn't finish my sentence but fuck it that's how I roll   Yeah anyways it was like a potluck kinda thing. I had some BBQ and dip and bread and potato salad and some things and 3 beers. I should have drank like 3249734 beers cuz those people brought sooo much beer and drank like none. There were 2 huge ice chests FULL of different kinds of beers. But I was starving when we got there so I filled up on food instead of beer. Oh well it's ok. Yeah it was pretty boring. There were a few nice people I talked to a little bit but I was really tired and it wasn't really my type of crowd.

Next weekend is another Parrot Head party. It's the annual pool party. Oh joy. There's not a fat insecure emoticon so I'll just use that one. Ho hum ho hum. *sigh sigh*  My mom and I are trying shopping again tomorrow at Kohl's and I will try to find something decent to swim in. NOT a swim suit because I don't want to put anyone through that visual nightmare. I'm gonna try to find some board shorts and I think I have some bikini tops around somewhere and I guess if I get drunk enough I'll wear that and the shorts. And it will be at night around a bunch of other cool drunk people too so I guess it will be ok. Yeah it will be fine. I already have a boyfriend so it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone I just don't want to disgust anyone either or have people point and laugh and throw up at me

ANYWAYS enough of the 1 person pity party. God I hate myself. I love poker. I only play online for free because I don't have any real friends and also don't have any money. But I'm pretty damn good. I started playing on Facebook in tournaments and I'd say like 8 out of 10 I place at least 3rd. It's fun and super addicting I talked to Ben about where to play if I ever actually start playing for money and he said Full Tilt is good and something else so I set up a free account on there. I'm pissed I just spent an hour playing this tourney and got 4th. I'm pissed because 4th wins nothing. Argh. 

Anyways I couldn't sleep but now it's like over an hour later so I guess I'll go try again. I have court in the morning and have to take an hour + bus ride to get down there. I wish they allowed phones or at least had lockers or something where you could put them cuz I really hate being out and away from my phone. Godddddd I hate this place I can't wait to get out. 10 more fucking months. Ugh.

Goodnight bitches.

     
R  e  n  e  e   M  a  r  i  e


]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73060/#comments http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/73060 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/73060 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 09:19:19 GMT Never tackle a drunk man with a gun! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/71860 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Members Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Members Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/71860/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71860 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/71860 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:23:42 GMT another year of DOOM http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68670 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Well I got sentenced to 1 year of all the shit I've been doing for the past 7 months. That's fucked up. So in reality my punishment will be 19 months of bullshit. I don't know why they had to fuckin start it from yesterday instead of GEE I DON'T KNOW MAYBE WHEN THEY FUCKING PUT ME ON PROBATION. <img width="29" height="26" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/oldman2.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> Whatever tho. I'll be able to drive with an interlock. That's a pain in the ass but so is having my mom drive me around in MY FUCKING CAR trashing it and ugh it's so full of her fucking garbage and she's completely dented/scratched up my rims and spoilers. It used to be a sexy hot nice car now it's just a piece of shit. She was all like &quot;Oh you should appeal and fight it!&quot; hahahaha, she doesn't get that I don't have any rights. Seriously. I just have to stay on the same program I've been in for another year. But the fucking judge AND my public defender said the court has specialists to help me with social security disability. I filled out the application by myself which was extremely difficult and I don't even know what to do now but I'm gonna tell my PO next week to get me someone. The judge was saying this &quot;program&quot; is to benefit and help me. I agree with that in some ways like some of the counseling and since I'm in mental health court it's definitely a lot better than &quot;normal&quot; whatever. I don't have to pay $538745745 in court fees and fines if I do this so I'm ok with it I guess. That's all I can be, there's nothing else I can do. Hopefully my PO will cut down the time because I've been doing well and what I'm supposed to. <br /> <br /> I just laid in bed last night from like 8:30-9ish just crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then I cried more because I was like &quot;Waaah I'm alone crying in my room and nobody knows&quot; and that made me feel worse. I just hate this place so much and still don't have any real friends. I miss Austin and my friends more than anything. I fucking swear to baby jesus as soon as this shit is over I'm fucking moving out of this disgusting evil corrupt garbage land of entrapment and NEVER EVER EVER coming back. Not even for fucking holidays I hate it so much. <img width="40" height="17" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/stab.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> But yeah since I went to bed at 9PM I am fuckin awake now at 5:30AM. It's actually kinda nice cuz my mom isn't up. She pisses me off all the time. I'm so sick of living with her but I have no fucking money I lost my job when I lost my license pretty much. I don't see how I can keep a job when I have court/court ordered appointments up to 4 times a week. I'm lucky to have a place to live I'm just bitchy and feel like a fucking loser to be living with my mom as an adult especially since I've lived on my own before and had to move BACK in with her. Shit. I'm gonna go for a jog before the evil satanic sun comes up to burn the fuck out of me. <br type="_moz" /> </span></span><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Well I got sentenced to 1 year of all the shit I've been doing for the past 7 months. That's fucked up. So in reality my punishment will be 19 months of bullshit. I don't know why they had to fuckin start it from yesterday instead of GEE I DON'T KNOW MAYBE WHEN THEY FUCKING PUT ME ON PROBATION. Whatever tho. I'll be able to drive with an interlock. That's a pain in the ass but so is having my mom drive me around in MY FUCKING CAR trashing it and ugh it's so full of her fucking garbage and she's completely dented/scratched up my rims and spoilers. It used to be a sexy hot nice car now it's just a piece of shit. She was all like "Oh you should appeal and fight it!" hahahaha, she doesn't get that I don't have any rights. Seriously. I just have to stay on the same program I've been in for another year. But the fucking judge AND my public defender said the court has specialists to help me with social security disability. I filled out the application by myself which was extremely difficult and I don't even know what to do now but I'm gonna tell my PO next week to get me someone. The judge was saying this "program" is to benefit and help me. I agree with that in some ways like some of the counseling and since I'm in mental health court it's definitely a lot better than "normal" whatever. I don't have to pay $538745745 in court fees and fines if I do this so I'm ok with it I guess. That's all I can be, there's nothing else I can do. Hopefully my PO will cut down the time because I've been doing well and what I'm supposed to.

I just laid in bed last night from like 8:30-9ish just crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then I cried more because I was like "Waaah I'm alone crying in my room and nobody knows" and that made me feel worse. I just hate this place so much and still don't have any real friends. I miss Austin and my friends more than anything. I fucking swear to baby jesus as soon as this shit is over I'm fucking moving out of this disgusting evil corrupt garbage land of entrapment and NEVER EVER EVER coming back. Not even for fucking holidays I hate it so much.

But yeah since I went to bed at 9PM I am fuckin awake now at 5:30AM. It's actually kinda nice cuz my mom isn't up. She pisses me off all the time. I'm so sick of living with her but I have no fucking money I lost my job when I lost my license pretty much. I don't see how I can keep a job when I have court/court ordered appointments up to 4 times a week. I'm lucky to have a place to live I'm just bitchy and feel like a fucking loser to be living with my mom as an adult especially since I've lived on my own before and had to move BACK in with her. Shit. I'm gonna go for a jog before the evil satanic sun comes up to burn the fuck out of me.

]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68670/#comments 4 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68670 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68670 Sat, 17 May 2008 11:36:26 GMT fuckin food http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68514 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Why does food have to be so awesome and delicious? I mean like unhealthy food. Healthy food just doesn't fill me up <img width="29" height="26" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/oldman2.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />. I hate having an appetite at all. I know you have to burn more calories than you eat to lose weight. That's really hard. I work my ass off at the gym and then I don't want to eat anything to undo it. I'll eat fresh fruits and veggies we get at the farmers market and it's like I didn't even fucking eat anything cuz I'm still starving!! I hate how fucking fat I am and I hate my stomach I look pregnant and it gets in the way it's disgusting. I don't want anyone to be like &quot;Oh you're not fat!&quot; because that's not gonna help and yes I am. I'd give anything to be like I was before I moved here. I'm pretty sure it's the lithium that made me gain 50+ lbs. I gained that much in just months. I don't want to take my meds anymore. They don't work. I'm still depressed and hate my life almost all the time. What's the point? I'm miserable. God fucking dammit. I signed up for this fitness boxing class at the university that starts next month. I need to get some boxing gloves but not sure what kind to get. I think I'll go down to the place where it's at to talk to them about that and I read articles that you need hand wraps too. I'm actually pretty excited about this class, it's a really good workout. And it's not like a fighting boxing class so you won't get hit or hurt. That's good. I don't wanna get hit but I wanna hit other people lol <img width="40" height="27" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/fall_out_chair.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> </span></span> Blog yes Why does food have to be so awesome and delicious? I mean like unhealthy food. Healthy food just doesn't fill me up . I hate having an appetite at all. I know you have to burn more calories than you eat to lose weight. That's really hard. I work my ass off at the gym and then I don't want to eat anything to undo it. I'll eat fresh fruits and veggies we get at the farmers market and it's like I didn't even fucking eat anything cuz I'm still starving!! I hate how fucking fat I am and I hate my stomach I look pregnant and it gets in the way it's disgusting. I don't want anyone to be like "Oh you're not fat!" because that's not gonna help and yes I am. I'd give anything to be like I was before I moved here. I'm pretty sure it's the lithium that made me gain 50+ lbs. I gained that much in just months. I don't want to take my meds anymore. They don't work. I'm still depressed and hate my life almost all the time. What's the point? I'm miserable. God fucking dammit. I signed up for this fitness boxing class at the university that starts next month. I need to get some boxing gloves but not sure what kind to get. I think I'll go down to the place where it's at to talk to them about that and I read articles that you need hand wraps too. I'm actually pretty excited about this class, it's a really good workout. And it's not like a fighting boxing class so you won't get hit or hurt. That's good. I don't wanna get hit but I wanna hit other people lol
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68514/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68514 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68514 Thu, 15 May 2008 09:28:08 GMT dammit http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68256 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Ahhh I keep forgetting to come hang out here and then occasionally I'll notice a myspace bulletin. So this old hag at work got me fired. She said I beat her up. WTF?! I accidentally bumped into her when we were putting dishes away and apologized. Then my boss calls me to talk about &quot;the incident&quot;. I had no idea what the crap he was talking about. He told me I needed to write a statement and fax it to the store. So I did this, then he calls me back when I'm doing community service and says I'm fired pretty much. Stupid old lying bitch. It irks me even more cuz I thought she was my friend!! We got along for almost 2 years then she makes up some bullshit story that they believe. So now I'm banned from that store. Lame lame lame. <br /> <br /> I have court finally on Friday for my hearing. I'm predicting it will go bad and my life will get even worse. I hate being so negative about my life but seriously nothing good ever happens to me. I know at least I am lucky to have a place to live and be safe. <br /> <br /> Oh yeah I joined a gym and have been going pretty often. It does make me feel a little better. One thing that sucks tho I guess is now I notice how long and hard it is to burn so many calories and I look at labels on snacks and stuff and I'm like damn. Ha. But it's good to sweat and get moving. My mom joined too but she always hurts herself when we go :(&nbsp; <br /> <br /> I finally got a bus pass from one of these counseling places the court is making me go to. I still haven't gotten the guts to ride the bus tho. My anxiety is just so bad and I'm too scared. I'm afraid I'll get lost or be late for one of my appointments and go to jail. Blah. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
I have court finally on Friday for my hearing. I'm predicting it will go bad and my life will get even worse. I hate being so negative about my life but seriously nothing good ever happens to me. I know at least I am lucky to have a place to live and be safe.

Oh yeah I joined a gym and have been going pretty often. It does make me feel a little better. One thing that sucks tho I guess is now I notice how long and hard it is to burn so many calories and I look at labels on snacks and stuff and I'm like damn. Ha. But it's good to sweat and get moving. My mom joined too but she always hurts herself when we go :( 

I finally got a bus pass from one of these counseling places the court is making me go to. I still haven't gotten the guts to ride the bus tho. My anxiety is just so bad and I'm too scared. I'm afraid I'll get lost or be late for one of my appointments and go to jail. Blah.
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68256/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68256 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/68256 Mon, 12 May 2008 02:46:32 GMT hello bitches! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/61809 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl As always, it's been a while. I decided to<br /> get all up ons because I've had 4 people<br /> ask me if I ever did a Suicide Girls set <br /> and I did not. And will not. Cuz uh yeah <br /> hm ok I cannot find the anti SG emoticon<br /> anymore. Anyways, I guess that means<br /> I'm lookin good? Maybe it was the suicide<br /> attempt and me not eating hardly ever &amp;<br /> not being able to sleep and being manic.<br /> Funniest/best weight loss methods are<br /> always pretty terrible. Yes?<br /> <br /> Anyways so I am now a Mary Kay Beauty<br /> Consultant and am doing very well so <br /> far. I had my debut hmm a week ago and<br /> I've already earned&nbsp; my pink ice ring since :)<br /> <br /> www.marykay.com/reneeabbott just in <br /> case you wanna check it out or help me<br /> out in any way. Moral support, if you have<br /> skin care or makeup or beauty questions<br /> I'd be more than happy to help you out. <br /> <br /> nap time..<br /> <br /> hahaha ok nevermind it's drinking time<br /> because it's redneck alcoholic debut<br /> day so I'm gonna go drink and be <br /> awesome cuz this shirt makes my<br /> tits look amazing <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/smoking.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes get all up ons because I've had 4 people
ask me if I ever did a Suicide Girls set
and I did not. And will not. Cuz uh yeah
hm ok I cannot find the anti SG emoticon
anymore. Anyways, I guess that means
I'm lookin good? Maybe it was the suicide
attempt and me not eating hardly ever &
not being able to sleep and being manic.
Funniest/best weight loss methods are
always pretty terrible. Yes?

Anyways so I am now a Mary Kay Beauty
Consultant and am doing very well so
far. I had my debut hmm a week ago and
I've already earned  my pink ice ring since :)

www.marykay.com/reneeabbott just in
case you wanna check it out or help me
out in any way. Moral support, if you have
skin care or makeup or beauty questions
I'd be more than happy to help you out.

nap time..

hahaha ok nevermind it's drinking time
because it's redneck alcoholic debut
day so I'm gonna go drink and be
awesome cuz this shirt makes my
tits look amazing
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/61809/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/61809 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/61809 Sun, 17 Feb 2008 22:46:20 GMT Once again, IT'S BEEN A WHILE!! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/53590 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal Friends Only Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Friends Only Journal Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/53590/#comments 4 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/53590 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/53590 Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:40:29 GMT Howdy strangers! http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/49612 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Hey guess what? I'm alive! Yes it's been a while, figured I'd let you in on Renee's whacky life <img width="20" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/pffft.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /><br />People drive so great in this town! No really, it's quite impressive. <br /><br />Speaking of sarcasm, 90% of the humans in this shit town are fucking morons. They are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. They don't even understand the concept of sarcasm. I try to keep my mouth shut because people just don't get what I'm trying to say. I wish I was dumb sometimes so I'd fit in more.&nbsp;<img width="19" height="24" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/rollseyes.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />So I guess I offended a few tards at the bar last night because they took me seriously. One tard was REALLY beginning to piss me off saying how sarcastic people are so annoying and it's so wrong and durrr durrr durrrr so I was like &quot;Look dude, I'm so sorry. That was wrong of me, I've had a bad day and I'm really sorry bs bs bs&quot;. Since he was a tard he believed me. HAHA JOKES ON YOU DOUCHEY!!!&nbsp; <br /><br />I noticed his hottttttttttt&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />hot <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> hot :<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> friend next to him and was like *drools* After they kicked us out of the bar we were chillin outside and I was like ME WANT MORE BEER!! So we all went back to Justins place to kick it and drink some more. I love boys with the guns. I always want me tickets to the gun show. I asked if I could feel his arms and *shivers* oh fucking wow. Then find out he's a fucking FIREMAN&nbsp;<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />We talked for a few hours and I just kept falling in drunk love with this guy. I told him how I respect fireman more than anyone, what they do is just amazing and they really are heros. Then I hugged him and thanked him. And he smelled sooooo good. Another one of my weaknesses are boys that smell wonderful. So I kept molesting his arms and hugging him and smelling him and started to feel creepy lol. We went inside and I started tackling those bastard rubix cubes. I tossed it over to him and watched him solve that shit in like 2 minutes.&nbsp; :eek: <br /><br />I kinda wanted him to say something fucked up to piss me off because I'm like omg I love you marry me lol. He doesn't like cheese lol. Or fruity things, he likes chocolate. <br /><br />We were inside laying down on the floor just talking about death metal and music and I'm so insecure I can never ya know &quot;make the first move&quot; but I couldn't stand it so I put my hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. He kissed me back.&nbsp;<img width="19" height="19" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/kiss.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world than with this man of my fucking dreams that just showed up into my life. I was like &quot;How bout we take this party to the bedroom!&quot; So yeah we did end up bangin, we were both drunk and just so into each other. It made me very happy. Then he held me all night, I was cold but his body was so warm. *swoons* I felt so good. I love being held so tightly, he held my hands and petted my back and arms. :) When we woke up yeah lol we banged again. And were laughing our asses off about dumb weird whacky stuff and took a little nap again and he held me. It was a wonderful ending to a stressful fucked up dramatic day. And it was a wonderful beginning to more drama and bullshit. <br /><br />I've had so much bad luck with boys/pathetic worthless assholes in this town. I don't wanna get so attached to him so fast but it's like we can totally just hang out and bullshit and not just have sex and that's it. So yeah I just really want someone to have and to hold and to care about me. Yeah it sounds cheesy but I miss that feeling. <br /><br />He has today off from fighting evil fires in this horrendous heat. I'm gonna take him some food and chocolate and maybe some booze. His dad is pretty fuckin cool too. I'm happy. I hope it lasts. I've always thought I wasn't meant to be happy. Its fucked up but it's kinda true. I've been thru so much BS I'm always waiting to get fucked over again. Bleh. <br /><br />But I'm happy and living for the moment and it's wonderful&nbsp; :<img width="36" height="24" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/snuggles.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /><br />fin. Blog yes

People drive so great in this town! No really, it's quite impressive.

Speaking of sarcasm, 90% of the humans in this shit town are fucking morons. They are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. They don't even understand the concept of sarcasm. I try to keep my mouth shut because people just don't get what I'm trying to say. I wish I was dumb sometimes so I'd fit in more. So I guess I offended a few tards at the bar last night because they took me seriously. One tard was REALLY beginning to piss me off saying how sarcastic people are so annoying and it's so wrong and durrr durrr durrrr so I was like "Look dude, I'm so sorry. That was wrong of me, I've had a bad day and I'm really sorry bs bs bs". Since he was a tard he believed me. HAHA JOKES ON YOU DOUCHEY!!! 

I noticed his hottttttttttt   hot hot : friend next to him and was like *drools* After they kicked us out of the bar we were chillin outside and I was like ME WANT MORE BEER!! So we all went back to Justins place to kick it and drink some more. I love boys with the guns. I always want me tickets to the gun show. I asked if I could feel his arms and *shivers* oh fucking wow. Then find out he's a fucking FIREMAN We talked for a few hours and I just kept falling in drunk love with this guy. I told him how I respect fireman more than anyone, what they do is just amazing and they really are heros. Then I hugged him and thanked him. And he smelled sooooo good. Another one of my weaknesses are boys that smell wonderful. So I kept molesting his arms and hugging him and smelling him and started to feel creepy lol. We went inside and I started tackling those bastard rubix cubes. I tossed it over to him and watched him solve that shit in like 2 minutes.  :eek:

I kinda wanted him to say something fucked up to piss me off because I'm like omg I love you marry me lol. He doesn't like cheese lol. Or fruity things, he likes chocolate.

We were inside laying down on the floor just talking about death metal and music and I'm so insecure I can never ya know "make the first move" but I couldn't stand it so I put my hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. He kissed me back.  I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world than with this man of my fucking dreams that just showed up into my life. I was like "How bout we take this party to the bedroom!" So yeah we did end up bangin, we were both drunk and just so into each other. It made me very happy. Then he held me all night, I was cold but his body was so warm. *swoons* I felt so good. I love being held so tightly, he held my hands and petted my back and arms. :) When we woke up yeah lol we banged again. And were laughing our asses off about dumb weird whacky stuff and took a little nap again and he held me. It was a wonderful ending to a stressful fucked up dramatic day. And it was a wonderful beginning to more drama and bullshit.

I've had so much bad luck with boys/pathetic worthless assholes in this town. I don't wanna get so attached to him so fast but it's like we can totally just hang out and bullshit and not just have sex and that's it. So yeah I just really want someone to have and to hold and to care about me. Yeah it sounds cheesy but I miss that feeling.

He has today off from fighting evil fires in this horrendous heat. I'm gonna take him some food and chocolate and maybe some booze. His dad is pretty fuckin cool too. I'm happy. I hope it lasts. I've always thought I wasn't meant to be happy. Its fucked up but it's kinda true. I've been thru so much BS I'm always waiting to get fucked over again. Bleh.

But I'm happy and living for the moment and it's wonderful  :

fin.]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/49612/#comments 5 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/49612 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/49612 Thu, 23 Aug 2007 22:24:08 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44572 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl There is no emoticon that can express what I am feeling right now.<br /> <br /> So when I travel I first type out a list of everything I need by category, <br /> then I just go pack all that shit and check it off my list. My mom starts<br /> packing months in advance and freaks out and is like OH MY GOD<br /> RENEE YOU HAVEN'T STARTED PACKING YET?!?!? I'm like dude I need<br /> the shit I'm gonna pack, I'll pack in the morning in like 20 minutes. My<br /> amazing plan has worked every time. <br /> <br /> I forgot we are going to Taos on Wednesday for 2 nights. So I gotta <br /> pack separate for that. I won't need sexy outfits or slutty shoes to <br /> go there lol. Probably not any BDSM gear either :)<br /> <br /> Anyways, I'm drinking this bad ass all natural ENERGY DRINK from<br /> Trader Joe's. It's good and has a buncha vitamins and what feels<br /> like crack cuz I'm all KWD FKLF NKJDFH KJDHKLJH haha but being<br /> super productive. I'm walking around in my cute new stiletto/pump<br /> type sexy shoes to get used to walking in heels without falling &amp;<br /> breaking my foot. Yeah that happened once, luckily I was drunk <br /> enough to not feel it til morning. <br /> <br />I keep accidentally scratching or hitting my new tattoos and I'm <br />kinda like ow&nbsp; but not really. I got my wrists completely redone and<br />an angel Hello Kitty and Devil Hello Kitty on my forearms. He also<br />redid my 10 year old rose for free cuz he's fucking bad ass and next<br />time I will tip him like $985745049785 but I'm taking my mom to him<br />sometime cuz she's been wanting shit added to her gecko she got<br />12 years ago. YAY FOR INK!!! &lt;3<br /><br /> So um hmmm. Oh yeah I'm picking up Kenny tomorrow from Santa<br /> Fe cuz he's gonna stay here for a week or 2 to do housework and<br /> yardwork for my mom. I will demand he work shirtless because <br /> he is one sexy hunk of man meat ;)<br /> <br /> xoxo<br /> &lt;3<br /> Me Blog yes
So when I travel I first type out a list of everything I need by category,
then I just go pack all that shit and check it off my list. My mom starts
packing months in advance and freaks out and is like OH MY GOD
RENEE YOU HAVEN'T STARTED PACKING YET?!?!? I'm like dude I need
the shit I'm gonna pack, I'll pack in the morning in like 20 minutes. My
amazing plan has worked every time.

I forgot we are going to Taos on Wednesday for 2 nights. So I gotta
pack separate for that. I won't need sexy outfits or slutty shoes to
go there lol. Probably not any BDSM gear either :)

Anyways, I'm drinking this bad ass all natural ENERGY DRINK from
Trader Joe's. It's good and has a buncha vitamins and what feels
like crack cuz I'm all KWD FKLF NKJDFH KJDHKLJH haha but being
super productive. I'm walking around in my cute new stiletto/pump
type sexy shoes to get used to walking in heels without falling &
breaking my foot. Yeah that happened once, luckily I was drunk
enough to not feel it til morning.

I keep accidentally scratching or hitting my new tattoos and I'm
kinda like ow  but not really. I got my wrists completely redone and
an angel Hello Kitty and Devil Hello Kitty on my forearms. He also
redid my 10 year old rose for free cuz he's fucking bad ass and next
time I will tip him like $985745049785 but I'm taking my mom to him
sometime cuz she's been wanting shit added to her gecko she got
12 years ago. YAY FOR INK!!! <3

So um hmmm. Oh yeah I'm picking up Kenny tomorrow from Santa
Fe cuz he's gonna stay here for a week or 2 to do housework and
yardwork for my mom. I will demand he work shirtless because
he is one sexy hunk of man meat ;)

xoxo
<3
Me]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44572/#comments 4 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/44572 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44572 Sun, 27 May 2007 00:47:56 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44380 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Ok I'm gonna copy this after I write it just cuz I might get fucked over again. Dammit I don't even remember what I wrote but both times were pretty long updates! *shakes fist*<br /><br />So today I woke up at like 6AM all hyper singing Primus' &quot;Too Many Puppies&quot; cuz Jess has 3 dogs that were all jumpin around and I was already in a great giddy mood from all the hot sex we had all night into the morning&nbsp; :blush: Yes my dry spell has ended!! Holy crap, I don't wanna get into details because I need to calm down and go to bed soon. Seriously tho, wow.&nbsp; :love: I hope he didn't just wanna hit it and quit it cuz I think I will be disappointed with anyone I have sex with besides him from now on lol.&nbsp; :love:&nbsp; :love:&nbsp; :love:&nbsp; :love:&nbsp; :love: <br /><br />So besides that, my mom was being a major cunt all day and fucking pissing me off. I swept and Swiffer'd the kitchen floor then she IM'd me saying how dirty it was. WTF?!? She was like &quot;I just got a rag and washed the whole floor all over again. Then she wanted me to Swiffer it again. SERIOUSLY OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?&nbsp; :mad: So I did listening to my iPod, btw Foreigner's Juke Box Hero is a good song to Swiffer to&nbsp; :P anyways she finally told me the floor looked beautiful so I pleased the evil queen&nbsp; :whatever: <br /><br />I have an appt. with my psych in the morning cuz I missed 3 days of work getting drunk. We'll call that an &quot;episode&quot;. Plus I've been hurting myself a lot on purpose lately because of fucking rage and agitation. Not like wah wah emo cutting I cut myself to feel alive bullshit, just I dunno it helps when I'm fucking mad. And I'm just weird like that and like pain. So I've been taking a lot of extra xanax to fucking deal with all the bullshit around me.&nbsp; I think I'll make it all dramatic when I go to work and say I tried to kill myself and put bandages around my wrists just so people don't fuck with me. I'm bored there anyways and haven't pretended in a while. <br /><br />fin.<br /><br />What is an emotion between like and love that isn't lust? I am in like with a boy,&nbsp; I think I love him but I know it's too soon. I don't wanna just fuck him (I do but not just that), I like him dearly more than anyone I know at the moment. So help kthxbye &lt;3 Blog yes
So today I woke up at like 6AM all hyper singing Primus' "Too Many Puppies" cuz Jess has 3 dogs that were all jumpin around and I was already in a great giddy mood from all the hot sex we had all night into the morning  :blush: Yes my dry spell has ended!! Holy crap, I don't wanna get into details because I need to calm down and go to bed soon. Seriously tho, wow.  :love: I hope he didn't just wanna hit it and quit it cuz I think I will be disappointed with anyone I have sex with besides him from now on lol.  :love:  :love:  :love:  :love:  :love:

So besides that, my mom was being a major cunt all day and fucking pissing me off. I swept and Swiffer'd the kitchen floor then she IM'd me saying how dirty it was. WTF?!? She was like "I just got a rag and washed the whole floor all over again. Then she wanted me to Swiffer it again. SERIOUSLY OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?  :mad: So I did listening to my iPod, btw Foreigner's Juke Box Hero is a good song to Swiffer to  :P anyways she finally told me the floor looked beautiful so I pleased the evil queen  :whatever:

I have an appt. with my psych in the morning cuz I missed 3 days of work getting drunk. We'll call that an "episode". Plus I've been hurting myself a lot on purpose lately because of fucking rage and agitation. Not like wah wah emo cutting I cut myself to feel alive bullshit, just I dunno it helps when I'm fucking mad. And I'm just weird like that and like pain. So I've been taking a lot of extra xanax to fucking deal with all the bullshit around me.  I think I'll make it all dramatic when I go to work and say I tried to kill myself and put bandages around my wrists just so people don't fuck with me. I'm bored there anyways and haven't pretended in a while.

fin.

What is an emotion between like and love that isn't lust? I am in like with a boy,  I think I love him but I know it's too soon. I don't wanna just fuck him (I do but not just that), I like him dearly more than anyone I know at the moment. So help kthxbye <3]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44380/#comments http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/44380 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44380 Wed, 23 May 2007 06:49:08 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44058 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl <font size="3">Wow, I'm really happy. lol &quot;I just adopted 30 puppies!!!!&quot; haha. Ok Family Guy moment. Anyways, I am very happy I think I've found the most perfect boy for me. We've only been talking for not even a week but have everything in common. He's extremely into BDSM and very kinky, he's extremely caring and so fucking sweet. He's not addicted to drugs, doesn't smoke cigs unless he's really drunk (like me). He's super hot, cute, adorable and sexy. He lives in Seattle which is where I've been wanting to move for quite a while. He always tells me how perfect and pretty and beautiful and amazing I am :) He has a hardcore foot fetish which I think is funny/interesting. I've never known anyone with a foot fetish but I think that's pretty cool and will be fun&nbsp; He doesn't think I'm fat he likes thick girls and he loves all my piercings and tattoos he says they make me so much more fucking hot. *blush* Last night (I was a little drunk) but I send him a fully NUDE picture body shot (which I've NEVER EVER EVER done since&nbsp; gained 40lbs) and he said I had the most beautiful body. *blush* He is helping me become more confident in myself and believe genuine compliments people give me instead of thinking they are lyin to be nice. So yeah I'm pretty fucking giddy over this boy I really hope it all works out for the best&nbsp; I'm gonna visit Seattle as soon as I save up a bit of money and can figure out when I should take off from work and stuff. Weeeeeeeeell that's all for now. I like being happy and sometimes I think I really deserve to be happy because I'm a nice person, I love my friends more than everyting and everyone thinks I'm the sweetest, most polite, lovely young lady at work and all my moms friends think that&nbsp; <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/heart.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /></font> Blog yes Wow, I'm really happy. lol "I just adopted 30 puppies!!!!" haha. Ok Family Guy moment. Anyways, I am very happy I think I've found the most perfect boy for me. We've only been talking for not even a week but have everything in common. He's extremely into BDSM and very kinky, he's extremely caring and so fucking sweet. He's not addicted to drugs, doesn't smoke cigs unless he's really drunk (like me). He's super hot, cute, adorable and sexy. He lives in Seattle which is where I've been wanting to move for quite a while. He always tells me how perfect and pretty and beautiful and amazing I am :) He has a hardcore foot fetish which I think is funny/interesting. I've never known anyone with a foot fetish but I think that's pretty cool and will be fun  He doesn't think I'm fat he likes thick girls and he loves all my piercings and tattoos he says they make me so much more fucking hot. *blush* Last night (I was a little drunk) but I send him a fully NUDE picture body shot (which I've NEVER EVER EVER done since  gained 40lbs) and he said I had the most beautiful body. *blush* He is helping me become more confident in myself and believe genuine compliments people give me instead of thinking they are lyin to be nice. So yeah I'm pretty fucking giddy over this boy I really hope it all works out for the best  I'm gonna visit Seattle as soon as I save up a bit of money and can figure out when I should take off from work and stuff. Weeeeeeeeell that's all for now. I like being happy and sometimes I think I really deserve to be happy because I'm a nice person, I love my friends more than everyting and everyone thinks I'm the sweetest, most polite, lovely young lady at work and all my moms friends think that 
]]> CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44058/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/44058 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/44058 Wed, 16 May 2007 00:02:14 GMT fuck life http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/43816 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl So it's 5AM. I tried to go to bed at 4 but was laying there being depressed thinking too much so I decided to get back online. Been downloading some music and doing dumb pointless surveys on myspace. Why am I depressed? I hate living in Albuquerque. I've been here almost a year and I don't have any friends. Ok, I have friends that I see when I go to shows or bars/clubs. I don't hang out with anyone. I'm off of work for 4 days so I've been sleeping til after 3PM because I have no reason to wake up. I hate waking up. I say I hate it when I have to wake up early for work but at least I have a purpose that day. I've gotten so fucking fat. Fucking lithium. The doc loaded me full of lithium because after I moved here I was extremely depressed and all I could think or talk about was dying. I cut down by like 75% but haven't lost any of the 40 lbs it made me gain. So being a ham beast makes me more depressed. Then having no will power or motivation to fucking do something about it just makes me feel more worthless. I'm pathetic, I really am. I get serious about eating healthy and being active but that doesn't even last a week. My sternum piercing is hurting, Steve saw it on Friday he said it's a little red but looks good. Fucking birds outside chirping and shit. Argh. I don't know what to do with my pointless life. I've been wanting to go to cosmetology school for maybe 6 months now, I should do that. I wanna be a makeup artist. I'm good at makeup, I love it and it's fun. Too bad I live in a shit state where there are no cosmetology schools. I need to move, seriously I fucking hate this place. But to move I'd need money. To have money I'd need a decent job. My job is decent but I just don't get enough hours. I'm gonna attempt the sleep thing again. If you actually read all this shit I apologize for wasting your time. Blog yes CrazyWhiteGirl Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/43816/#comments 10 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/43816 http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/43816 Thu, 10 May 2007 11:20:35 GMT Oh yeah, seven udders of justice http://deviantnation.com/members/CrazyWhiteGirl/43165 [Deviant Nation] CrazyWhiteGirl's Journal CrazyWhiteGirl Yesssssssss I'm happy that Rocko's Modern Life still comes on Nicktoons. I fuckin loved that show when I was little and I love it more now probably because all the innuendos.&nbsp; ;) <br /><br />Gosh today was INSANELY busy! I went to bed at like 4:30AM (I took Adderall yesterday) then woke up at 8:30 for no reason. I just stayed up and decided to start my long task of errands. I had to go down to the police station to fill out a police report. Yeah fuck that! That is some tedious complicated confusing shit. I am kickass tho cuz I did it right. Wooooo!! Then I called my insurance company to tell them I got that done and gave them the police report number. They faxed a claim over to this body shop, then I went to the post office to send off a package and a handful of pen pal letters. I called the body shop to see if they got my claim so I went down there to get an estimate. $1600 worth of damage from that fuckass that just backed into my car and drove off. Fuck Albuquerque. That happens ALL THE TIME HERE. Shitheads don't have insurance and don't know how to drive either. Ugh. They should only get cancer. So I'm gonna take my car up there next Wednesday and have a rental for a few days. Luckily my deductible for a hit and run (uninsured motorist coverage) is $250. My car will be pretty and happy again. <br /><br />I went to Best Buy to check out some speakers since I blew one of mine out. I'm probably gonna go with the 6 1/2'' Infiniti components with the tweeters for the front and then just the 6 1/2's for the back. Infiniti rocks. I had those 6x9s in my old car and they were so orgasmic. I don't wanna get a sub cuz you can see in my trunk and crackheads in this town would probably try to steal it. Those speakers pack a lot of bump tho. <br /><br />Uhhh I took more Adderall and like totally cleaned/organized my room and bathroom. Did laundry. Wrote a bunch of letters and got a package ready for my Jim. I'm getting pretty fuckin tired now tho. I deciced to have a couple beers to help me relax. Haha I'm all like durrrrrrr right now. It's cool. I had to take a soma cuz every muscle in my body was hurting. Too much stress. <br /><br />I can't wait for Kink. I'm very excited to go see some awesome suspensions and bondage and crazy freakness!!! I think Amy is gonna go with me still? I hope? *bats eyelashes*&nbsp; I kinda have my outfit planned out. I just like going to big parties/events like that where I can spend hours getting all dressed up, doing my hair and makeup all bad ass. It's fun. That's one reason why I miss raves. Ahhh those were the days. <br /><br />haha damn my room is fuckin clean. I got like 6 grocery bags of trash and organized my drawers for makeup and&nbsp;&nbsp; am starting to actually put things in my new dresser. Instead of just having all my crap piled all over my fucking desk. <br /><br />Oh yeah I think Kenny is mad at me cuz I took 4 of the Adderall's he had me Fedex to Hawaii yesterday. I was annoyed that I had to go to his dr's office and wait like 45 minutes, then go to Walgreens to pick it up, then go to Fedex. I told him I was gonna take some and he w