[Deviant Nation] Daizee's Journal

I'm baaaaack

Daizee — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 03:55:30 GMT

Proof that 2 lawyers are better than one. I only did a lil under a month on my third dui. I'm terminated from the dui court program (which means you're supposed to do 180 days), but due to some "circumstances" they let me out. I have to start my drug & alcohol counseling over from the beginning, which is 1 years worth and about $1,100.. Oh well. Apparently they can't talk about it in the open, cuz if the media were to find out that there are any more failures in the DUI court program, it would be taken out of the court system and everyone in it would be serving their suspended sentences. But if I get another, it's 2-6 years. Apparently I can get my license back in 2010, but my boyfriend thinks it would be best he just drive me around... Driving miss Daizee, haha. Granted I would never make that mistake again, but it seems to be the consensus.
Anywho, I was going to take the third to trial, cuz when one of my lawyers got discovery, we saw that the courier who delivered my blood test wrote the wrong date on it. In Nevada, a blood test is only admissable in court if all the data shows that the blood was taken within 2 hours of being pulled over. However, my judge wouldn't take it to trial in her court, and if we did lose in another, I would be serving the full 180. She said it had been filed as a second, so I could plea to it as a "third event, but possible consequences of a 2nd offense." Technically it could have been filed over as a felony withing 3 years, so I just got it over with and entered no contest so it wouldn't come back to bit me in the ass. So, yay. ONe more year of counseling and random UAs though, it's already been a year and a half since I've hung out with Mary Jane, but I guess I've gone that long I can wait another year : /

Well, that's my update. Glad to still be here. Need to lose a few pounds before I shoot another set, but I'll be workin on it. New li'l tattoo too, me and my boyfriend got "all or nothing" on our ring fingers. And for your viewing pleasure, some tripped out shit...

It's been awhile, and I got really bad news. Might be jail time..

Daizee — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:05:02 GMT

i feel sick. i'm shaking. can't stop crying.

Last week at court I discovered that my 3rd dui didn't get lost after all, worse yet, it got filed in my municipal court program. The agreement was I was to not get in any trouble for one year and remain abstinent from drugs/alcohol, or I had 180 days in City Jail to look forward to. Obviously, I fucked up in the worst kind of way.

I was supposed to graduate the program this month, but it got filed. For some reason they let me go last week, to return tomorrow. Maybe it was to let me enjoy one last week of freedom.

My lawyer called and said that the City attorney wants to revoke me from the program. However he's going to come tomorrow and try to fight for me, seeing as the judge and my counselors like me. I can't help but hope for the worst. 180 days, I just hope Mike doesn't find somebody else, I think that's what I'm most afraid of.

Anyway, the info is also in one of my blogs (myspace.com/urdonedaizee), but if I do go tomorrow please write. Put money on my books if ya can, as envelopes in there aren't free. Here's the info:

Chelsea "Daizee" Lynn Balcum #2576167
c/o City of Las Vegas Detention Center
3200 Stewart Ave Las Vegas, NV 89101
info # is 702 229 6099

Please pray for me.

Lack of interweb - I'M IN NEW MEXICO!

Daizee — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:57:32 GMT

so, i'm out here in albuquerque for a few days, then heading up to las cruces to do some partying and whatnot. anyone else out here??? maybe we can meet up.

another band gets my emotion before i can

Daizee — Mon, 04 May 2009 23:36:12 GMT

THEORY OF A DEADMAN LYRICS"Not Meant To Be"
It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone's losing
[Chorus:]
It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe That's theres no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

[Chorus]

There's still time to turn this around
You could be building this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking Maybe it's too late

[Chorus]

It's like one step forward and two steps back No matter what I do you're always mad And I, baby I'm sorry to see Maybe we're not meant to be

long distance relationship, after day 5

Daizee — Fri, 01 May 2009 08:12:15 GMT

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”

I can't be expected to be cooped up at home and at work all the time while he's gone. But every single time i make any reference to being around another male, unless it's one of my friends boyfriends, it's still the case. "I wish you'd quit lying to me babe." Fuck, I may as well start lying because i have done nothing wrong in the presence of any of my guy friends, or guys period, and I am always up front about what I'm doing when he calls. Even my friends sit there and vouch for me and he still calls me a liar when i haven't done anything wrong.
He knows how hostile it is there for me, fuck, it's hostile for my father even when i'm not here. I usually am not there. Plus i just started this new job and it is far. as. fuck. Mandalay Bay. Crashing with coworkers and carpooling is just so much easier, since I'm vetoed from driving myself. Some of us before heading home went out to get something to eat and their roommate tagged along, i told Nate it was a guy and he assumed we were trying to have some double date or something, then also threw in that he must be why i didn't answer my phone this morning when i slept over there. I was fucking sleeping!
I've never changed my ways for any guy, and I do kind of appreciate him motivating me (in so many words) to slow down a bit. But I can only bend so far. And it really hurts at times. You're in Nashville. I'm in Vegas. Is my life gonna stop cuz you're gone?
My friends are all so upset that I got back with him. But I feel so strongly that I've disregarded all their comments.. then after tonights lil argument, I came up with this one on my own:

as if it's not enough everyone's mad i chose you, do you even consider what your words put me through?

trying again cuz it is funny...

Daizee — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:38:04 GMT

mmmmm...

what drunk looks like

Daizee — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 07:31:44 GMT

okay, so yall still need to read the last journal... and what photogs are in tennessee??? goin soon.

anywho, this is me, drunk as fuck, trying to eat some carne asada fries. totally oblivious to the fact my friends were cell phone cammin it. i am so vetoed from robertos.

mmmmm...

yesterday was officially the worst day this year....

Daizee — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 21:32:34 GMT

so, sorry i haven't been on as frequently as usual to keep yall updated on my crazy ass life. haven't had intertubes where i've been staying. i had the best few last days and then yesterday was absolutely horrible.

the boyfriend and i had a disagreement and a brief breakup. it even led to a falling out with our roommate and most of his friends. the roommate left me a message a few days later saying nate grabbed all his stuff from the apt and took off.

i was heartbroken and persistent about getting him back, and succeeded luckily. we stayed at one of those weeklys. my friends and even my dad hated me for it, but it was kind of nice just me and him for his final days before going on tour with keith urban til september.

anyway, the day came yesterday for him to leave. we woke up late and hadn't packed a single thing and had about 20 minutes before my dad came to get us. we left so much stuff to make the flight. i don't see how a person can do that, live out of a few suitcases and then just leave stuff behind at the drop of a hat.

i did my best not to cry en route to the airport. but once we got there and it was time to go to the gate and say goodbye the waterworks came out. let's make this long story a bit shorter... he's back home in nashville.

but here's where it really starts to suck. when my father and i were driving back from the airport, traffic seemed steady and goin the speed limit. all this while, i'm in the backseat crying. out of nowhere i hear my dad say, "oh fuck!" i lift my head up[ and see it. traffic stopped. and my dad was going at least 70 mph. i braced myself and thought the impact wouldn't be so bad. i start seeing smoke coming out of the vents. and my dad's not moving, i try to rip him outta the seat and then he snapped outta it.

i thought the car was gonna blow up, then my dad informed me it was just the airbags. i had breathed in so much of those nasty fumes by that time that i was sick. i also hit my head, so i don't know if it was the concussion i got or the airbag chemicals, but i lost it and puked my brains out on the side of the freeway.

perfect time for my dad to inform me that he's got warrants and as we're waiting for the cops hew gives me his keys and his phone and tells me to take care of everything. luckily we got cool cops, they seemed to be more worrried about me and hitting my head, cuz i was pretty out of it after that. dad didn't go to jail, i refused to go to the hospital, but the car is totaled and wouldn't start.

and fuck me, i still need to be at work. casondra got me and we went. but i was so wacked from my head injury that i got sent home. hopefully i haven't lost my job.

long story short: i lost my boyfriend, almost lost my dad, got in a car crash all before noon yesterday before work, and almost lost that too as a result from the earlier events. fuckin a.

at least i'm going to tennessee next week, or at least i hope. never been to the south. seein him is the only thing that will recover my mood.

been away for awhile

Daizee — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:49:23 GMT

no intertubes! fuck!

but here i am, working @ this new gig called the preview center, it's like 16/hr +commission.

not bad, but we been here for 3 hours and haven't done shit. whatev. what's up in the nation?

fucking bipolar ass stepmoms

Daizee — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:17:40 GMT

okay, so yesterday night i got home pretty late with my dad, been basically living with my boyriend for the last 2 weeks cuz things are kinda hostile on the homefront. plus he wants me around every day before he goes on tour, so it works out. i just wanted to go to bed and get at least 5 hours of sleep before court.

that happen? no.

first i hear her yelling @ my dad about god knows what, something about me came up though. then i'm putting groceries away, and she cmes up ranting to me about some god damn hand towels with cats on them that i have absolutely no clue about.

wtf? my ass is on the line, being threatened over a couple stupid fucking hand towels?

then i try to sleep and several times in the middle of the night i hear her yelling at my dad again, "fuck you and your daughter!"

i did not get one minute of any real sleep.

cereally, get a fucking divorce already if your marriage and home life is so miserable you spend your time stressing everyone else out over stupid shit like hand towels. perhaps thats why dad appreciates my company more, i don't flip my shit on him several times throughout my day over dumb crap.

yay! my own desktop

Daizee — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:17:47 GMT

much <3 and thanks to deviant samguss

let me know what yall think..

tagging...

Daizee — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:27:36 GMT

okay, so DN is officially the only site that tends to make me feel borderline retarded... how do i ag someone? i try clicking on the lil DN tab to do it, but nothing happens.. help?

i got jokes

Daizee — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:07:23 GMT

Ran across this, it's long but worth it. Add me on myspace.com/urdonedaizee for more useless nonsense.. <3 you guys.

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor. '

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than
a doctor . '

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow... Soak
your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart. '

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworms Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer..
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

i love jesus but i drink a little

Daizee — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:13:07 GMT

desktops

Daizee — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 02:29:30 GMT

so who makes these things? can i get up on this? me love you long time....

and another stupid video. enjoy.

why do people with bad breath always wanna tell you secrets?

Daizee — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:41:02 GMT

AIDS burger

Daizee — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:54:20 GMT

I <3 this show... haha, "tip yo waitress..."

the bad with the good... and another awesome vid

Daizee — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:17:20 GMT

ugh. just spent the last few hours in the ER... they said i either have severe food poisoning or viral gastroenterisitis. i cant even hold down water. first time i've ever yacked blood too, so i was a bit freaked out. luckily i started feeling it yesterday so it should be over tomorrow or the next day. just in time for xtreme thing. who's goin? i have been fuckin sick too many times this year! but... i did meet someone amazing day before last. a southern charmer at that. we'll just have to see what happens... anyway, for the meanwhile, heres some entertainment yet again

trying again... <3 it. i hope

Daizee — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:21:25 GMT

i wanna be on a boat well, all that fucking buildup and i forgot to come back and fix it. well, here i am, fixing it. and im debating if its still worthit. enjoy.

best shit ever

Daizee — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 00:28:47 GMT

just hope this works, DN seems to be the only site, i am borderline retarded @ working..

no offense to the retards.

forgive me god and bless the pygmies in new guinea, amen.

til then, IM ON A MOTHAFUCKIN BOAT!

why must i live with psychos??

Daizee — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:04:31 GMT

so, i came home this morning and i hadn't slept well where i was prior so i was gonna crash back out for a while. i walk in and no sooner than i take off my shoes, my stepmother starts griping me about some dish left in my room. i was a bit cranky, so i remark "you're fucking bipolar. you know, you were being nice yesterday."
hell breaks loose, she gets that "voice." like shes fucking posessed or something. so i close and lock my door, but she continues to scream and beat on it for at least 20 minutes, saying that when i come out i wont be able to talk cuz she's gonna bash my teeth down my throat and rip my throat out and yada yada yada... luckily my friend came and got me, but like a kid, i needed to exit via the bedroom window. how embarassing.
i've made this mistake of going toe to toe with that mutty biatch. for being like 5 foot nothin, it's pretty impressive how she always wins. last time she had me up by my hair. granted that was like 6 years ago, but long story short, i avoid getting physical with crazy folk.
ugh.
but a friend of mine offered to fly me out to LA for the weekend to get outta there for a bit. hows the weather out there guys? because i think i'm more than considering it.

if today's the day...

Daizee — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:16:33 GMT

I'm on my way to court now, again. here's my info, again. Theres more detailed info in my blog.. If I'm still free by 12 then I guess todays not the day I go in. Can't help but be nervous though..

Chelsea Lynn Balcum #2576167
c/o City of Las Vegas Detention Center
3200 Stewart Ave
Las Vegas, NV 89101

like i said, the phone # is in my blog on myspace.com/urdonedaizee
it's called "i don't wanna go to prison, but it's my fault"
it has stuff like the jails info line and such so people know how they can put $ on my books and whatnot.
I really appreciate the help, but lets hope today isn't that day...

a po-em

Daizee — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 20:22:29 GMT

not the cheeriest, but written by yours, truly...

is there such a thing as being born a failure?
or is it just some steady progression?
to the extent i've hurt me & everyone so far
you would think by now i'd learned my lesson

i've learned that i can be used as a bad example
which i'll admit to, true and sworn
but if you need an example on how to live your life
you might as well have not been born

and so

Daizee — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:11:38 GMT

i live to fight another day

conflicted and anxious i still remain

anticipation of the inevitable

really is quite a pain