We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. Deviant Nation We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. We are striving to combine community, subculture, artistic expression and erotica all at once. 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http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/59701 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/59701/#comments 12 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/59701 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/59701 Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:18:32 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57777 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57777/#comments 17 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/57777 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57777 Sat, 22 Dec 2007 05:32:08 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57661 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal DarlaDarkling I had to finish up some last minute (read: panicked, holy shit now I've got to buy you a present too because you just got me one) shopping at the mall and decided it was as good a time as any to get my picture with Santa and inquire ever so sweetly (don't laugh) about the small matter of my missing pony.&nbsp; I didn't even dress that outrageously - a short plaid miniskirt, tight cardigan sweater that showed some cleavage and knee high spike heeled leather boots.&nbsp; Sort of seasonal schoolgirl tartish, and not wholly inappropriate as all pieces are stuff I'd wear in public without fear of an indecent exposure charge.&nbsp;<br /> <br /> When I got to &quot;Santa's Workshop&quot; the woman (hereafter referred to as the pimp) was more than happy to give me all the information on the portrait packages with Santa, trying to sell me the most expensive package they had because &quot;this is one of the best Santas we've had here, you'll want to send pictures of your little one with Santa to all the grandparents and aunts and uncles...&quot;&nbsp; She was a little confused, obviously, as I didn't HAVE a child with me...I don't know if she thought I had a kid hiding under my coat or something, but she stopped pimping out Santa after I told her I wanted MY picture taken sitting on Santa's lap.&nbsp; &quot;Oh no, we don't allow THAT.&quot;&nbsp; You don't allow adults to sit on Santa's lap?&nbsp; &quot;No.&quot;&nbsp; Well, can I just stand NEXT to Santa and put my arm around him for a picture?&nbsp; &quot;I don't think we can do that.&nbsp; Santa's here for the children.&quot;&nbsp; Mind you, there is NO line of children waiting to see Santa, Santa himself has been sitting there looking about as bored as can be, and curiously watching this exchange.&nbsp; &quot;you can have you picture taken with Santa with your child!&quot; she perks up.&nbsp; Um...yeah.&nbsp; Except for the fact that I do NOT have a child with me.&nbsp; So...even though I'll PAY to have my picture taken with Santa, I can't have my picture taken with Santa because I'm over 18 unless I have a kid with me, in which case they'll take my picture with Santa but only if the kid is in the picture with us.&nbsp; &quot;It's policy, ma'am.&quot;&nbsp; Mall Santa is still watching this exchange with a mixture of curiosity and amusement now.&nbsp; He calls over to his pimp, &quot;Why can't she have her picture taken with me?&quot;&nbsp; only to be rewarded with a glare from pimp lady, who says through clenched teeth, &quot;Because. It's. Against. P-O-L-I-C-Y.&quot;&nbsp; Santa looks at me &amp; shrugs, and I figure, since I only have these few moments before mall security probably shows up to haul me away that I'd better make use of it &amp; quickly.&nbsp; &quot;Santa, she's a really MEAN lady!&nbsp; I hope you give her a lump of coal in her stocking!&nbsp; And I've been really good all year, every year and you still won't bring me a PONY!&nbsp; You're a BAD Santa and she's a mean, MEAN lady and I still don't have a damn PONY! (stomping foot)&nbsp; An' all I wanted was to ask you for my PONY this year, same as EVERY year when I ask you for my pony that you never bring!&nbsp; It's not FAIR!&quot; &nbsp; And then I huffed off while Santa &amp; his pimp sat there with rather dazed looks on their faces.&nbsp; Did I mention I spoke with them the entire time in the little &quot;Babydoll&quot; voice?&nbsp; heh.&nbsp; <br /> <br /> I don't know if she was expecting me to take off my coat and have candy cane tassels twirling from my nipples while I used Santa for my very own personal stripper pole or if there really IS some policy that states no one over the age of 18 can sit on Santa's lap for a picture unless accompanied by a child.&nbsp; <br /> I only hope Santa's pimp didn't beat his ass with a candy cane after I left.&nbsp; <br /> <br /> I'm sorely tempted to go back with my guy's 16 year old daughter and demand we get our picture with Santa, but that's probably pushing it...maybe...&nbsp; <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
When I got to "Santa's Workshop" the woman (hereafter referred to as the pimp) was more than happy to give me all the information on the portrait packages with Santa, trying to sell me the most expensive package they had because "this is one of the best Santas we've had here, you'll want to send pictures of your little one with Santa to all the grandparents and aunts and uncles..."  She was a little confused, obviously, as I didn't HAVE a child with me...I don't know if she thought I had a kid hiding under my coat or something, but she stopped pimping out Santa after I told her I wanted MY picture taken sitting on Santa's lap.  "Oh no, we don't allow THAT."  You don't allow adults to sit on Santa's lap?  "No."  Well, can I just stand NEXT to Santa and put my arm around him for a picture?  "I don't think we can do that.  Santa's here for the children."  Mind you, there is NO line of children waiting to see Santa, Santa himself has been sitting there looking about as bored as can be, and curiously watching this exchange.  "you can have you picture taken with Santa with your child!" she perks up.  Um...yeah.  Except for the fact that I do NOT have a child with me.  So...even though I'll PAY to have my picture taken with Santa, I can't have my picture taken with Santa because I'm over 18 unless I have a kid with me, in which case they'll take my picture with Santa but only if the kid is in the picture with us.  "It's policy, ma'am."  Mall Santa is still watching this exchange with a mixture of curiosity and amusement now.  He calls over to his pimp, "Why can't she have her picture taken with me?"  only to be rewarded with a glare from pimp lady, who says through clenched teeth, "Because. It's. Against. P-O-L-I-C-Y."  Santa looks at me & shrugs, and I figure, since I only have these few moments before mall security probably shows up to haul me away that I'd better make use of it & quickly.  "Santa, she's a really MEAN lady!  I hope you give her a lump of coal in her stocking!  And I've been really good all year, every year and you still won't bring me a PONY!  You're a BAD Santa and she's a mean, MEAN lady and I still don't have a damn PONY! (stomping foot)  An' all I wanted was to ask you for my PONY this year, same as EVERY year when I ask you for my pony that you never bring!  It's not FAIR!"   And then I huffed off while Santa & his pimp sat there with rather dazed looks on their faces.  Did I mention I spoke with them the entire time in the little "Babydoll" voice?  heh. 

I don't know if she was expecting me to take off my coat and have candy cane tassels twirling from my nipples while I used Santa for my very own personal stripper pole or if there really IS some policy that states no one over the age of 18 can sit on Santa's lap for a picture unless accompanied by a child. 
I only hope Santa's pimp didn't beat his ass with a candy cane after I left. 

I'm sorely tempted to go back with my guy's 16 year old daughter and demand we get our picture with Santa, but that's probably pushing it...maybe... 

]]> DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57661/#comments 13 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/57661 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57661 Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:12:13 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57509 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57509/#comments 11 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/57509 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57509 Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:40:10 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57085 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57085/#comments 17 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/57085 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/57085 Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:06:17 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/56585 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/56585/#comments 28 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/56585 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/56585 Wed, 05 Dec 2007 17:22:56 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55833 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55833/#comments 13 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/55833 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55833 Sun, 25 Nov 2007 16:11:45 GMT http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55633 [Deviant Nation] DarlaDarkling's Journal Members Only Journal DarlaDarkling Members Only Journal Blog yes DarlaDarkling Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55633/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/55633 http://deviantnation.com/members/DarlaDarkling/55633 Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:11:46 GMT