[Deviant Nation] Kriket's Journal

music!

Kriket — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:20:41 GMT

is my saving grace!

more pills

Kriket — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 09:27:19 GMT

more pills
more pills
more pills
more pills.......

yikes

i hope these work!

.. and the doctors office calls

Kriket — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 07:10:05 GMT

.. and the doctors office calls

its really hard to take care of my shit..
when i have little to no energy..
i got a message on thursday night to call the doctors office..
but i got too wrapped up in work on friday, to do so..

i got around to it today..

looks like when the hospital was running all these tests on me.. they actually found something..
all that piss and blood wasnt, for nothing!

it took a few days for the culture to show up.. but they found that i have strep in my kidneys..
i've been playing phone tag with the doctors/nurses all day..

i've gotten little bits of info here and there..
its kindve scary.

the crazy heavy anti-biotics they put me on, they said, were "mediocre"
they need to put me on something else..

this would explain why i havent gotten any of my energy back.. in this last week and a half...

i want to know why the antibiotics were making me nauseous?
they never do?

there are alot of things associated with strep in the kidneys..

it will be interesting to see what else they have to say...

they just called again..
they want me in asap..
goin in tomorrow ..

craziness

injured

Kriket — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 08:14:17 GMT

the playful pup
slipped on a sliver
her paw was then pierced
she fell lame to her course

drink more water, cried the clouds..
and the air became dense
passing thru the park
limping lamely

so close to home..
yet so far away..

she started this story
for a day like today.

Last Friday Artwalk/Halloween! PARTY!

Kriket — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:28:46 GMT

This is going to be our pre-pre-opening party, for our new store!!
Fire Dancers, Decaying Art, Live Music!

if your in Eugene, Oregon.. and can make it from 6-9... its going to be alot of fun ;)

Infinity Mercantile is located next to Laughing Planet, Better Yet and across from Sweet Life, off of Monroe Ave.

Haunted Shoot Photos~

Kriket — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:30:43 GMT

photos by the amazing: Rhiannon Brunett

Haunted Hotel Shoot

Kriket — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 21:43:36 GMT

just got back from Tokeland, WA.. from this haunted hotel shoot..
it was such a pretty pretty location..
i met some really great people..
i hope to have some amazing shots to post very sooon ;)

Mercury Retrograde..

Kriket — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:16:16 GMT

it went retro on sat...
if you know anything about astrology.. you know the intensity of this...

Mercury Retrograde is going strong!
Mercury turns retrograde September 24
Mercury goes direct October 15

and its in the sign of libra... so its all about balance!

Three or four times a year, never on the same dates, Mercury loops Earthward (to our eye) in a retrograde cycle back over zodiacal territory. During this passage 3 and a half week transit, our attention moves towards unfinished business. Since all backward movement symbolizes a return to source, we can use these times to attend to our inner perceptions, and reconnect with the spiritual source of our thoughts. This introversion can bring about a critical purification process that can help us gain new insights based on prior knowledge.

It's important to figure out how this transit affects the patterns in your life as they will repeat. I know some readers are not into retrograde, but it has its pitfalls whether you believe it nor not. With shifting reality, much doesn't work in general, but this transit can make things a bit more confusing, indecisive and difficult. To me Mercury Retrograde means Repetitions and Delays. Pay attention to details now, especially linked to transportation and communication. We also find mixed or missed messages. Plans change. Things are lost or forgotten. Decisions will be made and revisited. Don't forget that Mercury is the Trickster who brings messages and learning lessons in round-about ways that we attract by synchronicity.

The cycle of the wing-footed messenger, Mercury, represents our mental and communicative life processes. This companion dancer to the Sun (never traveling more than 28 degrees away) inspires mobility and adaptability within our environment. Through Mercury, we express ourselves with language, writing, speaking and reasoning.

Mercury Retrograde Affects ...

Medical or Dental: Diagnosis made could be wrong, appointments cancelled.

Business: Problems with contracts, meetings, merges, paper work, etc.

Telecommunication: Phones, satellites, computer systems and related

Travel: Lost luggage, flight delays, vehicle problems, getting lost even with a GPS system

Decisions: Change or you feel indecisive

Relationships, friendships and partnerships: Changes made and reviewed

Written work will be redone due to errors or change of content.

Creative ideas won't flow!

If you start a diet, you'll quit when retrograde is over.

It will be hard to 'keep it together'.

You'll return whatever you bought.

It may be broken or you'll decide you don't like it!

Many things simply won't add up!

If you play a trick on someone
it will backfire on you.

Life may be a struggle, but don't give up!

http://www.crystalinks.com/retrogrades.html

deat set.

Kriket — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:14:30 GMT

i'm SO glad everyone loved the set.. i think, by far, it has been my best work yet..
i also have to say a huuuge thank you, to the photographer, Demetrius... and his keen eye..

i'm in the midst of coming up with another concept, yet to be hatched..

i may have to go down to cali to find mr. elgato... ;)

ooOOo celebrate skin!

Kriket — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 06:36:18 GMT

and how its all, just dust...

SO DEAD

Kriket — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:58:21 GMT

i'm SO dead now.. even deader than before?!?!!?!

awwww damn...

Kriket — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:14:10 GMT

i'm am SO dead.....

comfort over compassion

Kriket — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 05:25:03 GMT

i just rode my bike home..
it was a good distance.. but not that long..
biking, has made me think... and recently write songs in the wind.. only to have them carried away, never to be heard again..
we have all evolved justifying comforts over compassion.
it seems like even, in the more "conscious" areas of this country.. people are still living as if there is no end in sight, or there is an end in sight, so we better consume while we can.. instead of taking comfort in who we are and having the compassion and understanding of those sources we continuously take from, and giving very little back to....
people take comfort in "new" things.. when there are thrift stores and warehouses overloaded with yesterdays purchases...
people take comfort in the many things they accumulate.. and the ideal image it will give them..
people take comfort in the past, instead of the uncertainty of the future..

the past holds nothing, except stories.. limited perceptions of what's really happened.. humans have been conditioned by these stories.. we've evolved from the filter of stories we were allowed to hear.. and the ones we werent, but we did anyways, that carried with them strands of guilt or madness..
and then there are the stories we know but will never understand because no words can be put to them...

our minds have been molded through these filters.. the media.. the church.. our relatives and friends have all been molded as well..

and now we have boys, thinking that all it takes to be a man, is to have a beard and calloused hands?
and girls thinking their hair color or length will classify what kind of woman they are?

and its all in our heads?

this weird fucking reality constructed out of stories..

instead of everything coming from the heart.. we spend our lives in our heads where its safer, than feeling the emotions of whats really going on in the world.
instead of singing to the wind, we spend way too much time recycling past stories, or living reactionary lives following whatever it is our addict minds want.

in an age where the old is tossed out and ignored.. we are loosing our creativity..

in an age where, people can preach about the harm going on with the planet.. the polarbears dieing due to global warming and how evil china is...
these are also the same people consuming and giving very little back..

its hard for the heart to exist in this world..
and its about to get even harder, with the amount of "death" to come..

we can live our lives in fear of it all..
in our heads..
in our limited perceptions of what it all means..
spending more time talking about it.. researching it.. thinking about it..

or we can create.. now.
we can pick up the next object, aware of it in this moment..
thanking where i came from, aware of its effect.
and let go.

letting go of the past, its image, and focusing on now..

let the emotion exist.. cry if you have to.. no need to analyze..
move on..
create..

high hopes

Kriket — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 08:50:53 GMT

so it looks like i maybe opening a store, here in eugene!!
my fingers are crossed ;)

’tis time.. the fall is upon me

Kriket — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:09:47 GMT

’tis time.. the fall is upon me

every year around this time.. my body starts showing me signs..
i'm retreating to my head..
i've laid in bed for the last 4 and a half hours... trying to focus on breathing.. trying to bring myself back into my body..
i eventually gave up the battle and let my mind spin off, in whatever directions it wanted to...
it came up with some pretty creative ideas of things to create..
i thanked the "headiness" and tried to bring the focus back down..
i looked at my clock and realized what time it was...
i came downstairs..
put on my coat..
there's a chill in the air.
made a bowl of rice krispies, some toast, and ate some dried dates....
sat down.. tried to consume it slowly. but the rice krispies always trick me...
i dont like soggy krispies..
and when they start to turn.. i eat'm..
i washed my dishes..
wondering what the hell am i suppose to do..
if this is the beginning of the cycle.. the cycle that has happened for the last 26 years....
then, i dont think i'll be getting sleepy, anytime soon..... . . . . .
maybe around 9am?
i'll wake up around 5pm or 6ish.. or possible sleep for 24hrs?

i'm not sure how to curb this..
without the use of drugs.
i had a pretty active day...
i ran around the park for a few hours... and when i say ran.. i mean, i played ghost n the grave yard with 5 kids for almost 3 hours...
i thought for sure i'd pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow??

but nope..
here i am..
insomnia central.

i feel like i'm high on something?
i wonder if theres anything going on in the stars, that maybe taking its toll?
my vision is super crazy right now..
and the moths have taken a liking to spinning spirals around me.. (HUGE moths)

here comes the fall..
persphonie calls
for me to follow her, again.... .
into the depths of the shadow...
delirious...
and decidingly so.
here i go.
down
down deeper
and
down

underworld.

Kriket — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 23:38:22 GMT

i've visited the underworld, a few times in my day.
its never been a scary place.. its always been a place of beauty.
i had a faerie creature in white fur.. come from the underworld, a few years back.. she stayed for a year.. and was the most gorgeous being i had ever encountered.
when she left, it was with a quikness.. just as she appeared..
her dead body, just as pretty.
her grave decorated with gypsy moss and white quartz.
when she came to me, i was reading up, on white star woman, and the white wolf trail.. the white wolf trail is the trail the white wolf takes, bringing souls to and from the underworld... how appropriate she found me in new orleans...

at burningman, there is a temple.. every year its a bit different..
this year was the temple of sacred trash.

we set out on our pilgrimage from the far south to the far north, where the temple stood..... . . . one evening....
the dust storm picked up half way there..
the wind was strong.
my white scarf began to unravel around my neck.. i took it off.. and held the end with my finger tips..
the wind was pulling us closer.. twisting and twirling the scarf in front of me as we made our way...
as we approached the scarf found its way around my neck again.. the chandeliers of tin cans in the temple, shook and sang as we rode closer.
the wind was swaying the structure, hearing its creaking and cracking and trying to take in, its purple, red and green colors, we stepped inside.
my rabbit skin pouch at my side, holding my gifts for her.
holding my prayers, spells and goodbyes.
i left the group to find my way to the place i would rest my words and breathe with the grace that would hold me together.
i saw a fellow circling the corner, reading other's, past prayers.. with each step, he would bend down to read what others had left, and he would release his tears even harder.
i stood for a second to have a woman say to her friend, as she picked up a piece of paper "OH this is so sad.." and she began to weep.
i found my space where i would give Fae her freedom, and send out my prayers to those i love.
i took a deep breath.
a woman kneeled down beside me.. another woman touched her shoulder, and the woman kneeling said "i just wanted to give him one last goodbye" there before her was a glass candle box with a white candle, and some ashes. she wept and walked away.. next to the box there was a silver IV stand, and attached to that was a photo of a baby and papers with words.. hanging from the stand were beads and an amethiest pendulum.
my heart started to quiver.
i reached in my bag and took out the sun dreeze... i pulled out my amethiest pendulum and hung it next to its twin.. i took out my ghostly bell, sea shells and photographs.. the krishnas then began to sing a song of spirits..
my heart found a way into my throat...
i lay my other gifts and photos out.. and then placing a white pearl on her face.. i was overcome with emotion.
a beautiful soul was right there to hold me...
the temple to the underworld began to breathe as i did.. the chandleirs swaying, rattleing... we walked up the spiral stairs.. and viewed this world from above.
it was time to leave..
we then journey across the desert to the tower, where we stayed on solid steel... until we could walk again..
we walked until we found a funny art car.. full of spirits from all over this galaxy..
it took us to a place unknown.. but when we arrived.. there was a street sign that said 11:11...
i said to myself.. "whoa, 11:11..... make a wish"... . .
and one of the spirits said to me "11:11, its nice to know we made it on time" she smiled and turned to walk away...
we continued on..
i was craving a smoothie...
we walk past a kitchen and a fellow was offering us drinks..
i declined, until he told me they were non alcoholic... so we journeyed in..
there was a smaller fellow, on a small piano.. playing music for the gods..
we went up to the counter to order..
and as we spoke, i noticed the death that laid beside me...
and the death that laid beside that...
we were in skinny kitty's tea house.. there were dead cats and rats all around.
the night was amazing.. the sun soon came..

the syncronicities had been thick.. this entire week...
i remembered alot of my magic.. and started to play with it again.

the temple burned on sunday night..
it burned long and hard..
it was perfect.
and as it did.. the dust storm started..
and large dust cyclones started to manifest from the fire.. spiraling their way into the desert..
when the temple fell, a huge dust storm pulled in.. you couldnt see a foot in front of your face.. it was around midnight.. and you couldnt see any of the lights...
we eventully made it home..

i was just told by a friend, what Fae meant to the ancient celts....
it meant the wind spirit......

the american dream

Kriket — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:36:26 GMT

some flix from the burn....

burning man

Kriket — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:43:02 GMT

holy shit.
that was fucking amazing.
i went last year, but this year i've gotten a whole new perspective.

you never feel the same thing twice.

and while laying in my canvas tent, i could feel the wind having sex in the next room.

friday night i took a journey thru the underworld..
i could never articulate the magic of this night.

i arrived sunday night.. i stayed the week and left monday morn at 4am
there was SO much inspiration. on so many levels.

and some of the most beautiful people i've EVER seen.

damn..

THUNDERDOME!

its in the wind now

Kriket — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:11:35 GMT

its in the wind now

but its tails are still pulling at me.
as that sailor, sails off in the ship made of skin
i remind him
of the waters he sails upon
are not to be ignored
its too easy to escape into the compass and maps and think u know where your going..
your sweat is salty
i know why

so give yourself a bath, boy..
remember what it is.
your, really, washing away.

burningman

Kriket — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:27:09 GMT

getting ready for the burn!
i'll be camped out with Cinder Circus!
if your there and want to kick it, thats where u will find me!

bday party

Kriket — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:02:09 GMT

so i just switched the bday party for friday..
i just found out the whitetaker block party is on sat.

i'm already starting to get some amazing gifts for my 26th year, here on planet earth..

i've been overwhelmed with everything that has been going on recently..

i've got this man.. thats been spoiling me rotten..
i've never been spoiled.. and i've been pretty damn independent my whole life.. its an interesting twist to relax and let someone else take care of me..

but with the relaxing, comes this awkward feeling, like i'm not getting much done... when there is so much to do..

this last weekend was faerieworlds... i nanny for the people that put it together..
i got to dress up all weekend.. and watch some very beautiful people/faeries run around.. eat really good food.. and buy some super amazing clothing..

there was SO much inspiration! my next shoot is going to be SO bad ass ;)

lovely!

Kriket — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:46:22 GMT

thank you all so much for the lovely responses!

i'm very eager for the set to go up!
at the moment, i'm cleaning my room..

i've got a few canvases laying about, that i should really finish..

my bday party is going to be on aug 9th.. its going to be an art party!

so much fun!

poe the crow has been chattering up a storm today.. i left him out a bowl of random bits of food.. and he made a mess of them all.. it was kindve cute watching him.

i've been sleeping on the roof.. i find i sleep better under the stars..

the beehive had to go.. i guess the colony started to get sick or somthing.. it was SO nice having those bees outside my window..

i fucking LOVE honey bees.

Purple'urple!

Kriket — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 21:45:31 GMT

i've gone PURPLE!

Start wearing purple wearing purple
Start wearing purple for me now
All your sanity and wits they will all vanish
I promise, it's just a matter of time...

So yeah, ha

Start wearing purple wearing purple (da da da da da)
Start wearing purple for me now
All your sanity and wits they will all vanish
I promise, it's just a matter of time...

I've known you since you were a twenty, and I was twenty,
and thought that some years from now
a purple little little lady will be perfect
for dirty old and useless clown...

So yeah, ha

Start wearing purple wearing purple (da da da da da)
Start wearing purple for me now
All your sanity and wits they will all vanish
I promise, it's just a matter of time...

So yeah, I know it all from Diogenes to the Foucault
from Lozgechkin to Passepartout
I ja kljanus obostzav dva paltza
schto ti ha schto muzika poshla a zvuk gavno!

Start wearing purple wearing purple (da da da da da)
Start wearing purple for me now

Start wearing purple for me now!

All your sanity and wits they will all vanish
I promise, it's just a matter of time...

So Vio-Vio-Violetta! Etta! Va-va-va-vaja dama ti moja!
Eh podayte nam karetu, vot etu, i mi poedem k ebenjam!

So yeah, ah start wearing purple wearing purple
Start wearing purple for me now
All your sanity and wits, they will all vanish
I promise, it's just a matter of time!...

poe the crow

Kriket — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 00:20:19 GMT

he fell out of a nest a few months ago.. too young to fly... a rebel bird that wanted to see the world too soon...
and i've been nursing him since..

he now uses my bathroom as his nest, where he comes in, for the night....

we're in love

alllllllrighty..

Kriket — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:45:58 GMT

my photographer sent in the contract today! i cant wait to get feedback on this set.. i really feel like its one of my best yet ;)