[Deviant Nation] Loki's Journal

Everything you ever wanted to ask me, but were too afraid.

Loki — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 08:07:03 GMT

What do you want out of life?

Tacos

What's the key to happiness?

Low expectations.

How much is that doggy in the window?

512 dollars.

How big is your penis?

A mind blowing 16.5

What's your preferred unit of measurement?

Centimeters.

How hot are you?

99.2 degrees.

Why tacos?

Shut the fuck up.

What's your favorite accent?

~.

Can you describe yourself in one word?

Thirsty.

Was it Colonel Mustard in the study with the candlestick?

It was me in the kitchen with a wink and a grin.

What would you do for a klondike bar?

Murder. I would do murder.

Pantaloons?

Indeed.

Where do you see yourself one year from now?

Alaska.

Five years from now?

Dead.

10 years from now?

Risen.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

An 18th century British poet named William Price.

Do you believe in magic?

Sadly, I will never have a friend wearing big, red shoes. Unless you count Zach. But I don't see why you would, as his shoes are black.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Prokaryotes.

Where are you going to take me to?

Funkytown.

If you could have one wish, and only one wish, what would you wish for?

Tacos.

Madlibs That Shit

Loki — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:40:38 GMT

The following story is true. Only the names, location, events and gerunds have been changed to protect me from copyright infringement.

Most distracting to PROPER NOUN (PERSON 1), however, were the PLURAL COMMON NOUN his PLURAL NOUN (OCCUPATION) selected, which had nothing to do with his PLURAL ABSTRACT NOUN. He SIMPLE PAST TENSE VERB a SINGULAR COMMON NOUN, for instance, about a/an PROPER NOUN (NATIONALITY) named PROPER NOUN (PERSON 2), a DESCRIPTIVE NOUN in a SINGULAR COMMON NOUN where everybody else had enormous OBJECT OF THE CLAUSE. And PERSON 2 was a SINGULAR NOUN (OCCUPATION), and he found a way to SIMPLE PRESENT TENSE VERB PRONOUN PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE. PRONOUN SIMPLE FUTURE TENSE VERB living PLURAL COMMON CONCRETE NOUN from the SINGULAR COMMON CONCRETE NOUN PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE, mix them PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE, CONJUNCTION SIMPLE PRESENT TENSE VERB the SINGULAR COMMON CONCRETE NOUN PREPOSITION cosmic rays. DEFINITE ARTICLE PLURAL COMMON CONCRETE NOUN SIMPLE PAST TENSE VERB PREPOSITION babies PREPOSITION SIMPLE PAST TENSE VERB exactly like PERSON 2 PUNCTUATION

I just finished mine. It turned out to be a story about a little puppy who gets lost on his first visit to the big, tough city of Des Moines, but after many trials and tribulations, he finally makes it back to the family that raised him. Only to be promptly eaten, because, as it turns out, Soilent Green is puppies. It pulls at the heart strings.

This Journal Entry Says, "Happy Birthday To Karen!"

Loki — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:15:31 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KAREN!

No Subject

Loki — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:28:15 GMT

10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:
-I hate this job, and I've sent out my resume. In your face, you overweight, two faced bitch.
-I do not now, nor will I ever find you attractive. I considered feeling bad about it, then decided not to.
-I wish you were not married.
-Tacos.
-Next time, maybe not so much with the lying and backstabbing. I'm pretty much the only person who still likes you.
-We should have casual sex on a fairly regular basis.
-We should also have casual sex on a slightly more frequent basis than the other girl I want to have a good deal of sex with.
-We should have angry, violent sex just one time, because you're smoking hot, and I fucking hate you and your condescending tone, you dirty fucking bitch. Make that two times.
-I never actually loved you, and you pissed me off to the point where I often didn't like you. I don't know why I pretended, and I'm glad we've stopped talking. Hopefully you won't contact me again.
-More tacos.

9 Things about yourself:
-I am apathy incarnate.
-Every day I care less about other peoples opinions and my own.
-I am obsessive compulsive half of the time, and a mess the other half.
-I only enjoy anything until I get good at it. Then it bores me.
-I am losing my taste for alcohol. Or maybe I've already lost it.
-I think death is a stupid thing to be scared of.
-I need about ten hours of sleep at night. I get about six.
-I have zero friends that I hang out with and zero interest in making any.
-People think I'm shy before they get to know me. I'm not. People think I'm funny once they get to know me. I'm not.

8 ways to win your heart:
-Cook meals with me.
-Don't try to manipulate me.
-Have a unique view point that's not just a facilime of your parents, teachers or aquaintances.
-Be independent, not co-dependent.
-Don't crave attention or shy away from it when offered.
-Laugh a lot.
-Make me laugh a lot.
-Make me want you.

7 awesome movies:
-Amelie
-Raising Arizona
-Ciudad de dios
-City of Lost Children
-Pi
-Brazil
-No Country For Old Men

6- things you do before you fall asleep:
-Brush teeth
-Shave or trim beard
-Turn off all of the lights
-Make sure I have clean scrubs and socks.
-Check the news online.
-Close my eyes and wait for sleep to take me. Sometimes for a long time.

5 people who mean a lot:
-Zach
-Dan
-Kathleen
-Karen
-ummmmmmm.....

4 things you're wearing right now:
-sheets
-
-
-

3 songs [bands] that you listen to often (currently):
-Weezer
-Modest Mouse
-Pixies

2 things you want to do before you die:
-Open hand slap someone, and challenge them to a pistol duel.
-Lose a pistol duel.

1 confession:
-Tacos.

Two Tickets To The Gun Show

Loki — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:09:23 GMT

Zach and I went to the gun show yesterday. He picked up a Mossberg 590A1 with a 14" barrel. I already have a full size 9 (Taurus PT 24/7 Pro), but I scooped up a Sig Sauer Mosquito anyway, and did a happy dance when I got a Benelli M4 w/skeletonized stock. AZ is a crazy ass state, considering both Zach's shotgun and mine would be illegal in most others. So Today I'm teaching Zach about weapon safety, then we're headed to the range. I don't hunt, nor do I really expect my home to be broken into, but there's nothing wrong with being prepared. More importantly, I've found that nothing releives stress quite like shooting the shit out of a target. Except probably sex. But hey, you've gotta work with what you have available.

I've been considering picking up a Blaser Tactical 2, because being able to shoot things from really far away is an art, and a fun one at that. But since I don't shoot aminals, it may just be a tremendous waste of money. Unless, of course, if the zombies attack.

Killing Time

Loki — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 13:23:02 GMT

I masturbated 13 times yesterday. I was bored, so I decided to set a personal record.

No Subject

Loki — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 08:28:18 GMT

http://www.drhorrible.com/index.html

I gots it

Loki — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:20:35 GMT

My new t-shirt says, "Your mom goes to college."

Suck it, bitches!

No Subject

Loki — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 06:53:14 GMT

Took my mom to see Wall-E because I saw it the other day and it's the best movie ever. Then we grabbed dinner at the Fox and the Hound and several women hit on me. That's when I remembered why I don't have a girlfriend. Because I never effin go out anywhere. I'll have to rectify that situation.

I got a new job. Well, I still have my old job, where I'll be getting promoted this week, which is awesome because then I'll put out my resume and be more likely to get a higher wage. But in the meantime, the president elect of the Institute of Management Accountants for Phoenix and its surrounding cities- aka- my mom, got me a side job. I'll be making this web site http://www.imavalleyofthesun.org/ look less like ass and more like a real web site. Which is sweet, because when I'm done I'll tag my name on it and post a journal about how awesome I am for pimping their ride, and my ego will grow ten sizes that day. Effin A.

I don't have my phone, by the way. So if anybody has tried calling me, and left notes at my work calling me a brat and might be expecting me to call them- well, I haven't seen my phone in weeks. I loose it occasionally, and never bother to look for it, because I only use it as a clock. But I might look for it this weekend. Hopefully I remember to.

I'm so effin poor. Probably because I rebuilt my computer, built a media center computer, bought a 42 inch LCD 1080p television, a PSP, about 20 blu-ray movies, got some more clothes, got a second monitor for my PC, bought Adobe's CS3 for web developers and drank like, a bajillion iced teas from QuickTrip. Probably because of that. But, payday is Thursday. Woohoo! Time to get a motherboard with more PCI slots and more clothes!

Tried to buy a house. Cus it's a buyers market and all. My job pays shit (but I pay no rent, hence all the buying) so the loan I qualify for is effin weak. I need a job with a way better salary because I wants me a damn house. Might be tough, though, considering I dropped out of school this spring. Should probably drop back into that, but I've decided I don't want to be a doctor. Don't know where to go from there.

Anyway, that's what's been going on. Bunch of pointless crap that I am 100% emotionally detached from. Nothing has excited me in years, and I'm beyond bored. It's almost time to move to Alaska. I figure by 2010 I'll be a hermit up there. So if you're in the neighborhood, I'll be the crazy old guy with thousands of computer parts jutting up from the snow in my front yard.

Explanado!

Loki — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:13:46 GMT

That's Espanglish for explanation. So yeah, not dead yet. But I've still got nothing really to say. Not good times to be a Steve at the moment. Not to say I'm all bitch and whine faced. I've actually been in very good spirits the past few months, despite the fact that nothing is going my way. Mostly because I've stopped giving a fuck about anything and everything. Also, MGS4 is awesome, so this past week has been pretty damn fun during the fewtimes I got to hide in my room and play video juegos. Well, that's about it. Nothing worthwhile to write about. Also, I've lost my funny. Yep, haven't been funny in at least a month or two. So I can't really think of anything to say right now. At least nothing funny.

No Subject

Loki — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:52:16 GMT

I'm not dead yet.

Wino

Loki — Wed, 14 May 2008 05:47:33 GMT

I just drank two bottles of wine alonwe in my room while watching pirated episodes of "How I Met Your Mother". Oh shit, my life is AWESOME!

Being Drounk was much less fdepressing one bottle of wine ago.

No Subject

Loki — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:57:02 GMT

We took my mom out to dinner and a movie. The movie was awesome. It's called Priceless. Has Audrie Toutou in it. Watch it. Of this I command thee. Then I started tossing the idea of a family Vegas trip around. Like, "Hey, we've never all been there together, wouldn't it be cool if..." Then we worked out what would be a good weekend with our schedules. Haha. They seem pretty sure that it was a mutual decision. So I guess it's just a coincidence that we "happened" to settle on the weekend that I've secretly already made reservations at the Venetician and Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill. Points for manipulating for the greater good.

No Subject

Loki — Sun, 11 May 2008 10:42:13 GMT

Mothers day is going to be awesome! No so much for me as for my mother. It'll just drive me into the poor house.

No Subject

Loki — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:38:36 GMT

Back. Aradia told me about Cypher, because as you may or may not have noticed, I've not exactly been present this past month. Wanted to read about it myself. So I did. I don't have anything to say about it at the moment that's not violent and fueled by wrath. I'll be back for another journal when my mind can focus on something other than bludgeoning dealers with my Benelli.

No Subject

Loki — Wed, 07 May 2008 08:21:07 GMT

OUT TO LUNCH

back in 30 minutes

Effed In The A Hole!

Loki — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:12:05 GMT

So, I had a Maxtor external hard drive with a terabyte of space on it, for backing up files (because who doesn't need a terabyte of free space, right? .... Right?) plus the crappy 60 gig drive my computer came with, and another internal drive with like, 400 gigs that I installed last year. Windows and all of my program files where on the 60 gig drive, and the new drive held all of my music, movies, shows, photos and porn. I had to buy the Maxtor when I ran out of disc space because I ~~have~~ had a shitload of music. And by music, I mean porn. Anyway, I removed, as in physically removed, the 60 gig drive, because it's a piece of carp, and the less clutter inside my case, the better the air flow. Aside from the motherboard and power supply, fan and case, it was the only original piece of hardware on my computer. I'll be replacing the case, fan and power supply this weekend. The Dell 8400 series motherboard, however, is actually quite decent, so it will be the last thing left of my 4 year old computer. Anywho, took out my hard drive, but not before saving every last file I had from my good drive, onto my Maxtor, while I still had an OS to do so. Then I unplugged my Maxtor drive, and booted Fedora onto my good drive. Played with fedora for a bit, including many tests such as plugging in my external drive to make sure it recognized it via both USB and Firewire. Then I wiped the drive again and played around with Gentoo for a day. Tried Slackware, some one I forgot that never booted properly and now I'm using Mandriva. Next up will be Solaris, and eventually I'll make a decision as to which one I like the best. Basically Bash is always going to be pretty damn similar, so I'm really just looking for the graphic interphase I like the best. But, this has been too much damn backstory, and not enough about how I was anally reamed. Plugged in my external drive tonight to see if it would pop up on Mandriva, or if I'd have to search for it. It popped up. I was bored, so I decided to try and mount it, and transfer me some episodes of Bullshit to watch, but it opened the drive right away, without having to do any tweaking. Sweet. Or so I thought. I didnt have to look around much to see that the few things that were on there were not the many things I had put on there. Not even the Maxtor documentation or was there. Weird. So, somewhat paniced, I put my 60 gig drive back in, booted Windows, and plugged in Maxtor. Surprise, surprise. My hard drive was not formatted correctly. So despite the precautions of unplugging it every time I installed a new linux ditribution to prevent me doing something stupid like erasing its partitions, I still somehow managed to reformat it to the linux file system. Hooray! It's not like I wanted those several hundred gigs of music, or all of my favorite movies or every phot I've ever taken on my digital camera anyway.

Motherfucker. Four years of shit, gone with the wind. Time to start pirating music, I suppose. If anybody happens to know of a torrent file that would download all of the pictures from Karen and my road trip, every set I've shot or edited, all of the family pictures I've taken on holidays for the past 4 years, every photo from anywhere I've visited in the past 4 years, and every image I've ever photoshopped, could you point me to the tracker for it? That would be awesome.

Also, how the fuck does a hard drive get reformatted without ever giving any sort of prompt like, "Hey, we're going to erase all of your shit now."?

OK,

Loki — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:02:47 GMT

... so here's the plan. I'm going to start going to the gym again, swimming and biking. Can't run, or my knee will fall off. Once I'm back in shape, I'll get the rest of the tattoos I want. Then when I move in with Aradia, she can text me before she brings hot chicks over for tea and crumpets or whatever. I'll make sure that when they show, I'll be "fixing" my car, with my shirt off, then be like, "Oh, this is so embarrassing, you caught me all greasy and sweaty and shirtless. " Then, BAM! Next stop, Girlfriend City.

The plan is flawless.

Lungs

Loki — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:16:31 GMT

I murdered mine. They're hurting something fierce. Always figured smoking would kill me someday, but I thought it would be a slow, painful process. This has been fast as fuck. Over the last four months I've started getting sick every other week for a few days at a time. Upper respiratory infections and bronchitis. Since the start of the new year I'd say my lung capacity is down to about a third of what it was in '07. Even worse when I'm sick. My cough comes from deep in my chest, but it's not productive. If I take a deep or even a medium breath I can hear and feel the wheezing, squeaking and rails. They don't go away when I'm not sick. It hurts when I take a deep breath. Fucking hell. I'm twenty-eight years old and I feel like I'm on the verge of COPD. Smoking for fifteen years was pretty much the worst idea ever.

At least I've still got my devilishly good looks. Wait.... no, that was someone else. I never had those. Guess I'm just fucked.

Pee On My Shoes

Loki — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:48:31 GMT

That is not an order.

So, I step in pee a lot. At home there are animals everywhere, so I've taken to wearing my shoes in the house to evade the hazards of wet socks. At work my patients pee into little "urinals" that are pretty much just kool-aid jugs, and leaky catheter bags are not unheard of. Sticky floors abounds. Which is why I've taken to cleaning the bottoms of my shoes with sanitary wipes every night. Just wanted to let my reasons be known before you pass judgment.

A friend at work 'jokingly' insinuated that I've been getting sick a lot lately because I'm probably depressed. How dare he make such an inference. That was supposed to be a secret.

So I guess I'm going to a short film festival tomorrow. That'll be sweet. Then I'll be saving all of my music to my external hardrive so that I can wipe my PC completely of every last file and start over fresh with Linux. At least I'm pretty sure I'll be going with Gentoo, or maybe Fedora. I may set it up to duel boot to either Solaris or a BSD OS, just to get used to a few more environments. If you have any suggestions about an OS that would be fun to learn my way around, or think some other Linux distribution kicks Gentoo's and Fedora's asses, let me know. Although I doubt anything I install will be as badass as Leopard (at least without considerable tweaking), so I'll probably keep using my laptop for a while. I'v fallen in love with bash, and never really want to see a Windows command line again. That's a wish that'll never come to fruition if I get into the IT world like I hope, but still, a boy can dream, can't he?

Pee On My Shoes

Loki — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:44:19 GMT

That is not an order.

For more information on the contents of this journal entry, please refer to my next journal, where it double posted, because it hates me.

No Subject

Loki — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 07:35:27 GMT

I'm boring.

No Subject

Loki — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 07:09:08 GMT

"It's over between me and words. I’d love to stick around and exploit them each, one after another, but it’s all becoming quite predictable, wouldn’t you say? Eventually, they will all be used and I’d have to come up with fake words and that would be way too cnoofy"

-Why

Video Journal

Loki — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:44:55 GMT

Likely will occur later today. I found my webcam, and it is insanely broken, but my macbook has one built into it. Which is cool, because I haven't even touched my PC in like a month or two anyway. So I'll start with the video journaling. First I need a haircut, though. I don't exactly cut an impressive figure, and being about three or four months overdue on the hairs being trimmed doesn't help any. Maybe I'll even shave! No, eff that. Shaving is for overachievers. I'l shave the undercarriage for comfort reasons, but the face shall forever remain whiskery. I have no idea what I'll talk about, so it will probably be weird and rambley. But you're already used to that, aren't you?

Also, there are so many awesome and super hot girls on this site, yet only one of you lives in my neck of the woods. It's a damn shame. Phoenix sucks.

Bringing The Mole May Have Been A Poor Choice.

Loki — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:27:44 GMT