[Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. Deviant Nation We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. We are striving to combine community, subculture, artistic expression and erotica all at once. Deviant Nation satan@deviantnation.com Girls,Pinup,Tattoo,Pierced,Goth,Punk,Rockabilly,emo,Metal,Subcultures yes http://deviantnation.com/girls/Noxious en-us Copyright 2003-2008 Deviant Nation, Inc. satan@deviantnation.com Sat, 15 Mar 2003 07:00:00 GMT Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:53:46 GMT 60 DN Logo http://i.deviantnation.com/i/dn-logo-small.png http://deviantnation.com Deviant Nation 76 144 not enough ink, last set wasn't accepted, my body is sore... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71564 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Friends Only Journal Noxious Friends Only Journal Blog yes Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71564/#comments 33 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71564 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71564 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:03:22 GMT sweetness...and free weed. http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71418 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Friends Only Journal Noxious Friends Only Journal Blog yes Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71418/#comments 13 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71418 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71418 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:40:22 GMT she won't be very long http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71341 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Friends Only Journal Noxious Friends Only Journal Blog yes Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71341/#comments 6 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71341 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71341 Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:58:11 GMT Mr Miyagi!! (PICS) http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71290 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious yeah, i finally got him and i got to kick it with my mum, my older brother, my little brother chuck and my keeka (one of my little sisters)<br /> <br /> the hearing went pretty well. i think the judge is beginning to see susan's craziness and ignorance...we're actually allowed to see the kids now (us older kids) and if susan fucks up, it fucks up her chances on winning the case.&nbsp; <br /> they're going to try bringing in a professional outsider to look at both sides and try to help us come to a resolution. BULLSHIT, we shouldn't have to &quot;come to a resolution&quot; my mum should get my sisters and brothers back. fucking cunt. anyhow, it's all good that she didn't win full custody, nor does it&nbsp; look like she will. ***keeping my hopes up* we go back to court on august 29th...i have a feeling this will be an overly dramatic and long process. such a spiteful woman she is.&nbsp; <br /> anyhow, i had a GREAT time with my family hahaah it was just like old times when we all used to live together. i've missed living with them so much...<br /> end of the raaant<br /> <br /> mum and i<img width="392" height="293" alt="" src="http://a707.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/33/l_c5cf8dd6d158dc4f569736f67506ccba.jpg" /><img width="256" height="192" alt="" src="http://a747.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/89/l_3202a3ac837a4f1ce21ed091d2abae72.jpg" /> my rat MR. MIYAGI and i<img width="341" height="254" alt="" src="http://a592.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/74/l_afc7165549c804af527d0b145a91b28f.jpg" /> clarice (keeka) my little sister and her rat scruffles <img width="271" height="202" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/132106/" alt="" />and here, i am trying to eat Mr. Miyagi<img width="344" height="257" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/132085/" alt="" /> my little brother chuck. I LOVE HIS NOSE!!!! <img width="451" height="338" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/132086/" alt="" /> mr miyagi.&nbsp; my rat is bad ass<img alt="" src="http://a35.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/66/l_f952859e1f86f3dedb36623a8fd91182.jpg" /> Blog yes
the hearing went pretty well. i think the judge is beginning to see susan's craziness and ignorance...we're actually allowed to see the kids now (us older kids) and if susan fucks up, it fucks up her chances on winning the case. 
they're going to try bringing in a professional outsider to look at both sides and try to help us come to a resolution. BULLSHIT, we shouldn't have to "come to a resolution" my mum should get my sisters and brothers back. fucking cunt. anyhow, it's all good that she didn't win full custody, nor does it  look like she will. ***keeping my hopes up* we go back to court on august 29th...i have a feeling this will be an overly dramatic and long process. such a spiteful woman she is. 
anyhow, i had a GREAT time with my family hahaah it was just like old times when we all used to live together. i've missed living with them so much...
end of the raaant

mum and i my rat MR. MIYAGI and i clarice (keeka) my little sister and her rat scruffles and here, i am trying to eat Mr. Miyagi my little brother chuck. I LOVE HIS NOSE!!!! mr miyagi.  my rat is bad ass]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71290/#comments 23 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71290 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71290 Sat, 21 Jun 2008 01:13:57 GMT I've had ONE OF THE BEST (pics included) http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71137 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <p class="MsoNormal">birthdays in a LONG while!!!<br /> <br /> 1) mum came back!!!<br /> <br /> 2) i actually celebrated this year!!! water world was a blast! i am so proud of Jodie!! she totally out-stepped her boundaries and wore a swim suit today (she is a M to F tranny and still has her cock)!!! (today was the 1st celebration, the 2nd is on saturday)<br /> <br /> 3) i feel grateful and loved!! (that usually never happens around this time, because everyone besides my family and my best friend of 5 years forgets my birthday)<br /> <br /> 4) i met the cutest dorkiest irish guy @ waterworld today...but i didn't get to give him my number :( ---&gt;FAIL.<br /> <br /> 5) :( downside: i think richard got me sick from a couple of days ago...teh lame...didn't stop my GREAT TIME!!!<br /> <br /> 6) i had <u>THE WORST</u> birthday sex....ever. my best friend and my roommate keep teasing me about it...erik wrote a note on my door that reads: <b>dear noxious, 10 minutes. sincerely, erik</b>....yes...the sex was 10 minutes, he reaked of alcohol (i actually had to air out my room...) after he'd begun sweating...:( and then he&nbsp; asked me if he could borrow cash to get home...**over it**---one friend i'm not bothering with anymore---thank fuck i have 2 more birthday fucks coming up...that i know about hahaha...i LOVE having stripper friends!!!<br /> <br /> 7) rozz (my kitty) may be preggers!!! o_-<br /> <br /> 8) i treated myself this year!!! i've got <b>4 new cds</b> (does it offend you yeah, an old murder city devils, vampire weekend and a random industrial EBM comp...for $2!) and <b>a new movie</b> i've been meaning to get: class of 1984 STOKED! i also bought a <b>halter/corset </b>from Fredricks of hollywood-1/2 off, a <b>new pair of undies</b>, a friend bought me a <b>new swimsuit</b> and i got <b>new socks</b> (SKELETON SOCKS!!!) from my friend Crush...also new leg warmers out of the free box at work....annnd.....new <b>back-seam thigh-highs</b>...and i'm getting&nbsp;<b> my rat</b> <b>Mr. Miyagi</b> tomorrow!!!<br /> <br /> 9) picked up a shirt for my preggers stripper friend and a bib for her baby :)<br /> <br /> 10) the lady from GIRLS INC got back to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i believe i will be getting an interview&nbsp; next week!!! ^-^v <br /> <br /> i have yet to shower the chlorine still in my hair and on my body...haha lame...somewhat. i have my curly hair goin on right now. yay!! ((photos below)) i have decided, i'm gonna grow my hair out to a Devil Lock...ever since i'd seen an old friend of mine who's hair was in the style, i'd thought it'd be cool to try, plus i'm missing my super thick hair BADLY :/<br /> <br /> PHOTOS: <br /> <br /> new socks!!<br /> <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter" /> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0" /> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0" /> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1" /> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2" /> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth" /> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight" /> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1" /> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2" /> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth" /> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0" /> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight" /> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0" /> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect" /> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t" /> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style='width:211.5pt; height:158.25pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\NOXIOU~1\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\02\clip_image001.jpg" o:href="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131880/" /> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img width="282" height="211" alt="" src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/NOXIOU~1/LOCALS~1/Temp/msohtml1/02/clip_image002.jpg" v:shapes="_x0000_i1025" /><!--[endif]--><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape id="_x0000_i1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style='width:207pt;height:154.5pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\NOXIOU~1\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\02\clip_image001.jpg" o:href="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131881/" /> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img width="276" height="206" alt="" src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/NOXIOU~1/LOCALS~1/Temp/msohtml1/02/clip_image003.jpg" v:shapes="_x0000_i1026" /><!--[endif]--><br /> <br /> <img width="244" height="183" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131885/" /><img width="278" height="208" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131886/" /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> NEW HALTER/CORSET!!<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <img width="271" height="361" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131887/" /><img width="266" height="354" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131892/" /><br /> <br /> <br /> my preggo stripper friend's new stuff i bought her:::<br /> <br /> just an all-pink shirt<br /> <img alt="" src="]" /><img width="327" height="245" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131896/" /><img width="336" height="252" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131897/" /><br /> <br /> <br /> new undies!!!<br /> <br /> <img width="250" height="187" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131906/" /><img width="333" height="249" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131909/" /><br /> <br /> <br /> my jerkmate (roommate) wrote me a very sweet poem for my birthday (this is the outside of the poem, i didn't wanna post it, may embarass him)<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <img width="328" height="246" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131900/" /></p> Blog yes birthdays in a LONG while!!!

1) mum came back!!!

2) i actually celebrated this year!!! water world was a blast! i am so proud of Jodie!! she totally out-stepped her boundaries and wore a swim suit today (she is a M to F tranny and still has her cock)!!! (today was the 1st celebration, the 2nd is on saturday)

3) i feel grateful and loved!! (that usually never happens around this time, because everyone besides my family and my best friend of 5 years forgets my birthday)

4) i met the cutest dorkiest irish guy @ waterworld today...but i didn't get to give him my number :( --->FAIL.

5) :( downside: i think richard got me sick from a couple of days ago...teh lame...didn't stop my GREAT TIME!!!

6) i had THE WORST birthday sex....ever. my best friend and my roommate keep teasing me about it...erik wrote a note on my door that reads: dear noxious, 10 minutes. sincerely, erik....yes...the sex was 10 minutes, he reaked of alcohol (i actually had to air out my room...) after he'd begun sweating...:( and then he  asked me if he could borrow cash to get home...**over it**---one friend i'm not bothering with anymore---thank fuck i have 2 more birthday fucks coming up...that i know about hahaha...i LOVE having stripper friends!!!

7) rozz (my kitty) may be preggers!!! o_-

8) i treated myself this year!!! i've got 4 new cds (does it offend you yeah, an old murder city devils, vampire weekend and a random industrial EBM comp...for $2!) and a new movie i've been meaning to get: class of 1984 STOKED! i also bought a halter/corset from Fredricks of hollywood-1/2 off, a new pair of undies, a friend bought me a new swimsuit and i got new socks (SKELETON SOCKS!!!) from my friend Crush...also new leg warmers out of the free box at work....annnd.....new back-seam thigh-highs...and i'm getting  my rat Mr. Miyagi tomorrow!!!

9) picked up a shirt for my preggers stripper friend and a bib for her baby :)

10) the lady from GIRLS INC got back to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i believe i will be getting an interview  next week!!! ^-^v

i have yet to shower the chlorine still in my hair and on my body...haha lame...somewhat. i have my curly hair goin on right now. yay!! ((photos below)) i have decided, i'm gonna grow my hair out to a Devil Lock...ever since i'd seen an old friend of mine who's hair was in the style, i'd thought it'd be cool to try, plus i'm missing my super thick hair BADLY :/

PHOTOS:

new socks!!







NEW HALTER/CORSET!!






my preggo stripper friend's new stuff i bought her:::

just an all-pink shirt



new undies!!!




my jerkmate (roommate) wrote me a very sweet poem for my birthday (this is the outside of the poem, i didn't wanna post it, may embarass him)





]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71137/#comments 28 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71137 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/71137 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 06:30:05 GMT perhaps, ophelia, you may need to sit down for this... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70807 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <b><u><span style="font-size: medium;">mum will be here on monday!!!!!!!!</span></u></b> too bad i'm fucking working when she comes in and since i am only scheduled for 3 shifts (possibly giving one away) this week, i shouldn't give that one away. after work&nbsp; on monday i will be fucking clubbing!! <u>Death Guild</u> with my&nbsp; really awesome awesome old co-worker mike and francesco might come along. :D i can't wait...i'm gonna be all out of breath and excited from dancing heheheh GOD I LOVE TO DANCE!!&nbsp; <br /> i didn't go to Sylvia's art exhibit today...i had too much to do, i'll go maybe next weekend. i've been cleaning all day long :P i loathe having a messy room...--&gt; long <br /> lavender/sea salt bath after i clean the rest of the bathroom.<br /> <br /> i&nbsp; wish i had someone here to cook for me right now tehehehe. shit! i hope mum doesn't bother me about my looks....she should know they aren't changing any time soon-it's already been about 4 years or so...i am thinking about getting job-stoppers...<br /> my birthday celebrations are coming up!! i'm so stoked!!! <img alt="" contenteditable="false" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/teethsmile.gif" />&lt;--can't you tell?<br /> <br /> So, i sent my resume for Girls INC. in today...i REALLY hope i get an interview with them! i really really hope so! i'd be starting in&nbsp; August this year and ending next year in August, unless they wanted me to come back.<br /> <br /> i'm gonna go to Orbit after i print out my resume at work on monday and turn it in to them on tuesday. tomorrow should be lots of fun ^-^v <br /> <br /> i watched the remade Incredible Hulk yesterday (for free tehehe my roomie has the hook up) i thoroughly enjoyed it :D...i LOVE ed norton and i have a crush on william hurt...yum yum.<br /> i feel great. woot!-------&gt;<span style="font-size: small;"><b>housewife Noxious:</b></span> <img width="504" height="378" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131057/" /><span style="font-size: small;"><b>LeEvil and&nbsp; i being goofy! shot by <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/headlessbill" class="member" rel="tag">HeadlessBill</a>:</b></span><br /> <img width="578" height="866" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131058/" /><b><span style="font-size: small;">outtake at KAOS&nbsp; BEAUTY KLINIK'S/Richard Kadrey's shoot:</span></b> <img width="591" height="886" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/131059/" /><br /> Blog yes mum will be here on monday!!!!!!!! too bad i'm fucking working when she comes in and since i am only scheduled for 3 shifts (possibly giving one away) this week, i shouldn't give that one away. after work  on monday i will be fucking clubbing!! Death Guild with my  really awesome awesome old co-worker mike and francesco might come along. :D i can't wait...i'm gonna be all out of breath and excited from dancing heheheh GOD I LOVE TO DANCE!! 
i didn't go to Sylvia's art exhibit today...i had too much to do, i'll go maybe next weekend. i've been cleaning all day long :P i loathe having a messy room...--> long
lavender/sea salt bath after i clean the rest of the bathroom.

i  wish i had someone here to cook for me right now tehehehe. shit! i hope mum doesn't bother me about my looks....she should know they aren't changing any time soon-it's already been about 4 years or so...i am thinking about getting job-stoppers...
my birthday celebrations are coming up!! i'm so stoked!!! <--can't you tell?

So, i sent my resume for Girls INC. in today...i REALLY hope i get an interview with them! i really really hope so! i'd be starting in  August this year and ending next year in August, unless they wanted me to come back.

i'm gonna go to Orbit after i print out my resume at work on monday and turn it in to them on tuesday. tomorrow should be lots of fun ^-^v

i watched the remade Incredible Hulk yesterday (for free tehehe my roomie has the hook up) i thoroughly enjoyed it :D...i LOVE ed norton and i have a crush on william hurt...yum yum.
i feel great. woot!------->housewife Noxious: LeEvil and  i being goofy! shot by :
outtake at KAOS  BEAUTY KLINIK'S/Richard Kadrey's shoot:
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70807/#comments 40 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70807 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70807 Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:37:17 GMT new flesh-grendel http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70692 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <br /> !!! heheh i had SO much fun last night hanging out with <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/headlessbill," class="member" rel="tag">HeadlessBill,</a> Nixon Suicide, LeEvil, VampiraBat and Dead Meat!!!<br /> <br /> i feel <b>SO</b> great too. i woke up totally fucking hammered...still haha. But <b>FUCK</b> that was SO much fun. <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/headlessbill" class="member" rel="tag">HeadlessBill</a>, i'm sorry if i talk too much when i'm wasted hahaha. I got to snuggle Lee's boobies!! <br /> teheheh. sooo i&nbsp; have a super busy weekend and week :D i think tomorrow is my only day of rest. hahaha. yay? :P i have to budget my cash...which is what i am doing after this entry...and then sleep. i didn't get a proper sleep. as you can tell, waking up still hammered...hmm...<br /> <br /> *getting head for an hour straight is AMAZING* i just had to put that out there.<br /> <br /> damn budgeting. I REALLY hope i'll be able to pay my school bill...i'll be sad if i can't...*sniffles* i really want to go back to school shit...:/<br /> <br /> so, the lusty lady now owns the theater!!! STOKED...so we get a pay raise! ^-^ i actually gave away my friday and saturday shifts...i'd been there for a total of about 20 hours already...that's enough for me...:/<br /> going to see Sylvia Ji's work saturday night in SF,&nbsp; Sunday: movies with my blueberry!!, evening: dinner with jenntastic!! life rules right now. <br /> <br /> <br /> <i>you've got your mother's cheekbones and your father's crooked smile.</i><img width="370" height="277" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/130622.jpg" /><b> LeEvil1 and myself<br /> <br /> </b><img width="386" height="289" alt="" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/130621.jpg" /><b>Nixon Suicide and i...drunk as fuck.</b><br /> Blog yes !!! heheh i had SO much fun last night hanging out with Nixon Suicide, LeEvil, VampiraBat and Dead Meat!!!

i feel SO great too. i woke up totally fucking hammered...still haha. But FUCK that was SO much fun. , i'm sorry if i talk too much when i'm wasted hahaha. I got to snuggle Lee's boobies!!
teheheh. sooo i  have a super busy weekend and week :D i think tomorrow is my only day of rest. hahaha. yay? :P i have to budget my cash...which is what i am doing after this entry...and then sleep. i didn't get a proper sleep. as you can tell, waking up still hammered...hmm...

*getting head for an hour straight is AMAZING* i just had to put that out there.

damn budgeting. I REALLY hope i'll be able to pay my school bill...i'll be sad if i can't...*sniffles* i really want to go back to school shit...:/

so, the lusty lady now owns the theater!!! STOKED...so we get a pay raise! ^-^ i actually gave away my friday and saturday shifts...i'd been there for a total of about 20 hours already...that's enough for me...:/
going to see Sylvia Ji's work saturday night in SF,  Sunday: movies with my blueberry!!, evening: dinner with jenntastic!! life rules right now.


you've got your mother's cheekbones and your father's crooked smile. LeEvil1 and myself

Nixon Suicide and i...drunk as fuck.
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70692/#comments 18 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70692 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70692 Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:11:24 GMT june 10th http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70536 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <b><span style="font-size: medium;">today is my mum's birthday!!</span> </b>wooo!! i talked to her at around 6 this morning...thinking her and my <br /> granny&nbsp; had to be at work early...:/ haha woops i woke her up. <span style="font-size: medium;">She made <b>39</b> today!! </span>i love her EVER so much!! <br /> <br /> i can't wait to see her again. yay...another night at the lusty...woop de doo...i'll have to work on my resume and watch half-baked while i am there..at least get something done...fuck i don't want to be in booth anymore this week...but i am scheduled 2 more times besides tonight...i really hope i can give my shift away for tomorrow and saturday. i have too much to do this week. every week someone is asking me to go do this or do that...*weak roar* hehe. *exhausted* i still need to go by Peet's and put in a job application, as well as the Vet Hospital in Oakland and The Breakroom (a vegan cafe) in oakland. this $8 round-trip shit for san francisco is not cutting it. &nbsp; <br /> <br /> i would really rather wait for my bike to apply at these jobs...but beggars can't be choosers.&nbsp; i am thinking of cutting off my weekend availability for the lusty, tired of working on saturdays. we'll see, i need to get a hustle on. need to shoot another set soon.<br /> <br /> so there is a new girl at work who really likes me...makes me nervous. i'm such a fuck up when it comes to trying things out. She's awesome, she's older than me, 10 years. but she has this odd notion that i am amazing and cool and i'm like...yeah...lady, i'm crazy. eh...i don't know. haha..i don't like MONOGAMY...oh dear lord *shudders* it's something that frightens me ultimately. we'll see where it goes. i've started working on <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/chixor" class="member" rel="tag">Chixor</a> and <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/applejax" class="member" rel="tag">Applejax</a>'s letter ^-^ oooh i can't wait to come home on wednesday night after shooting with <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/headlessbill" class="member" rel="tag">HeadlessBill</a>&nbsp; cause i'm gonna pass out.<br /> ...i think i'll buy my bike this week...<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes today is my mum's birthday!! wooo!! i talked to her at around 6 this morning...thinking her and my
granny  had to be at work early...:/ haha woops i woke her up. She made 39 today!! i love her EVER so much!!

i can't wait to see her again. yay...another night at the lusty...woop de doo...i'll have to work on my resume and watch half-baked while i am there..at least get something done...fuck i don't want to be in booth anymore this week...but i am scheduled 2 more times besides tonight...i really hope i can give my shift away for tomorrow and saturday. i have too much to do this week. every week someone is asking me to go do this or do that...*weak roar* hehe. *exhausted* i still need to go by Peet's and put in a job application, as well as the Vet Hospital in Oakland and The Breakroom (a vegan cafe) in oakland. this $8 round-trip shit for san francisco is not cutting it.  

i would really rather wait for my bike to apply at these jobs...but beggars can't be choosers.  i am thinking of cutting off my weekend availability for the lusty, tired of working on saturdays. we'll see, i need to get a hustle on. need to shoot another set soon.

so there is a new girl at work who really likes me...makes me nervous. i'm such a fuck up when it comes to trying things out. She's awesome, she's older than me, 10 years. but she has this odd notion that i am amazing and cool and i'm like...yeah...lady, i'm crazy. eh...i don't know. haha..i don't like MONOGAMY...oh dear lord *shudders* it's something that frightens me ultimately. we'll see where it goes. i've started working on and 's letter ^-^ oooh i can't wait to come home on wednesday night after shooting with   cause i'm gonna pass out.
...i think i'll buy my bike this week...
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70536/#comments 12 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70536 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70536 Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:33:39 GMT RAWR teh cramps... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70367 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious hahah this sucks...i've been feeling nauseous and i've been aching...now i have cramps...shit. sometimes being a woman really sucks. i don't like to take medicine to staunch the pain, however, it's become so overwhelming that i've just popped 3 Bayer back and body pills. i figure if they could stomach it back in the day, i can as well. yesterday i felt really bad, so much that i started crying as soon as i got off stage for my first break , i had to ask a friend to take the rest of my shift, i wasn't in any condition to do private shows...not with a bleeding and aching cunt. crap. woe is me. haha<br /> <br /> rozz knows somethin's up with mama, she's at my feet right now and slept with me all night-not once getting up to eat (she always goes to eat cause she's a fat ass). i love my kid ^-^v<br /> <br /> an old woman passed me a pamphlet on <u>ORGAN HARVESTING</u> yesterday. i've heard about it before, but i looked it up and it's fucking sick and intense. of course, i am sure the U.S. has their filthy hands in it, as they've soaked them in many other atrocities, the worst one for me being: underground cults like <u>The Family of Love/Children of God</u>....*shudders* sick fucks. <br /> <br /> WOOT drugs are kicking in!! <br /> today my mind feels better. i feel great again. :P my body just hurts, hahah i can't seem to synchronize the two. My mums flying out here on the 13th!!!! i've missed her so much, more than anything! i am SO glad she's out of jail!!! no more federal illegalities for her. She'll have to go back to Mississippi on the 27th and get her probation switched to be able to stay out here. i am hoping for the best (just hoping nothing happens...a thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins)<br /> i'm proud of myself today for having woken up before 11a.&nbsp; i think i'm getting better...still going to therapy though. haha. <br /> <br /> <b><br /> LOLLIPOP by LIL' WAYNE</b> is my new favorite song...i like it better than <b>LOVE IN THE CLUB by USHER</b>....they both rule though. haha it's funny cause i hate rap. :P<br /> <br /> <b>P.S---DIANA sent </b><a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/gwindylyn" class="member" rel="tag"><b>Gwindylyn</b></a><b> an&nbsp; email to get instructions on uploading my set!! we're just waiting to hear back from her!! WOOOO </b><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
rozz knows somethin's up with mama, she's at my feet right now and slept with me all night-not once getting up to eat (she always goes to eat cause she's a fat ass). i love my kid ^-^v

an old woman passed me a pamphlet on ORGAN HARVESTING yesterday. i've heard about it before, but i looked it up and it's fucking sick and intense. of course, i am sure the U.S. has their filthy hands in it, as they've soaked them in many other atrocities, the worst one for me being: underground cults like The Family of Love/Children of God....*shudders* sick fucks.

WOOT drugs are kicking in!!
today my mind feels better. i feel great again. :P my body just hurts, hahah i can't seem to synchronize the two. My mums flying out here on the 13th!!!! i've missed her so much, more than anything! i am SO glad she's out of jail!!! no more federal illegalities for her. She'll have to go back to Mississippi on the 27th and get her probation switched to be able to stay out here. i am hoping for the best (just hoping nothing happens...a thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins)
i'm proud of myself today for having woken up before 11a.  i think i'm getting better...still going to therapy though. haha.


LOLLIPOP by LIL' WAYNE is my new favorite song...i like it better than LOVE IN THE CLUB by USHER....they both rule though. haha it's funny cause i hate rap. :P

P.S---DIANA sent an  email to get instructions on uploading my set!! we're just waiting to hear back from her!! WOOOO
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70367/#comments 31 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70367 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70367 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:39:09 GMT but that was when i ruled the world... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70277 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <span style="font-size: small;"><u><b><span>THIS IS JUST A STORY :P</span></b></u></span><br /> <span style="font-size: smaller;"><br /> <br /> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span>i am a sick man. </span></span><br /> <br /> i have trouble sleeping, a soft sleep...there weren't many bodies hanging around here, not as many as i'd hoped for. <br /> <br /> the day is opening its eyes. <br /> i still feel like shit, after sleeping all day...and waking to nothing...sleeping and waking to yearning. <br /> <br /> i am a sick man. <br /> <br /> an empty man. <br /> <br /> this loneliness is fleeting, wrap your arms around me now, for it shouldn't be long and i will not soon forget it... <br /> i will not soon forget it. <br /> <br /> i had better not branch out like once before, tea makes the soul a rich and vivid garden, all those roots i'd dug up and chopped into pieces. and they grew back, but they grew far from me. i met a woman on my way home the other night, with shocking hair and a silent smile. she reminded me of gloria swanson. <br /> <br /> where am i going? <br /> <br /> home. <br /> <br /> a titter somewhere behind me, perhaps a rat. why? <br /> <br /> why what? <br /> <br /> why are you going home? <br /> <br /> nothing else to do. i walked. <br /> <br /> i haven't cried in months...which is good, cause men don't cry&nbsp; anyway. it's been a while since i've last sinned with flesh other than my own; laying in the bed of a woman i'd met online, she'd only wanted me for my cock, she had problems deeper than my own. i sought to fix her, but she wouldn't even let me try. her short hair falling over her face as she fought demons in her sleep, i watched her. she'd made me happy, only temporary. i cried when i had to leave her, ended up in a bar with my face planted in a pile of ashes. We live in a beautiful world. <br /> she hasn't spoken much to me since, busy with modeling i guess, she's also a writer. I sometimes wish i hadn't said so much to her, i never let people know too much, they tend too quickly to enjoy the possibility of deception, funny concepts people are. <br /> i've caused too much trouble on the inside. <br /> the emptiness hasn't resided much, my hands are still tough, i guess that still makes me a man. i clear my throat and stretch...there's a certain way to connect to another being. if i ever figure it out, i'll let you know the way to it all. my head hurts slightly. i crack my knuckles and walk outside. <br /> <br /> how does one go about purchasing the world? <br /> mirror my soul, i looked at my reflection and watched the deformation. <br /> <br /> <br /> i am a sick woman, following the secrets in the looking glass. i've worked up a sweat thinking about all the lovers i've crushed and shredded, feeding them to starving revolutionaries in france. for some reason, i know the looking glass has a much better view, someday when i am not so ill, i should like to visit every one on the other side of it. I'd felt his hair in my hands and his head in my lap. i looked down at his sleeping face and smiled, you're just another body in my bed, won't you stay for a little while? i should think my arms and legs will become tired and cold after you've turned the fire down. <br /> <br /> i can see the behaviorisms in my self...saviors and -isms never quite suited my fancy. 'either that wallpaper goes or i do.' i closed my eyes, waiting for you to recognize my beauty, for i am sure i am beautiful. and one of these days, one of those bodies will stay. i promise myself. i think this fragile and serene morning [mourning air] will fill my lungs and i cannot wait to breathe fresh again. <br /> <br /> come quick, i have to share my pain with you, i have to show you why such things don't matter, in certain intervals, in certain areas and situations. i caught Ishtar at my window once, pushing my crooks and limbs this way and that, explaining why posture and installation could help me rule the world. 'i'd just wanted that carcass to stay for a longer period of time,' i say to her. <br /> <br /> well, don't show them the world just yet, let them linger. <br /> <br /> do i have to let it linger? <br /> <br /> yes. <br /> <br /> and i didn't know much else to say, so i sighed. 'i used to run these streets, i used to own this world,'i tell her,'but i'm trying to sell it to a man as lonely as me.' <br /> <br /> <br /> i am a sick woman. <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"><img width="357" height="449" alt="" src="http://valentinosltd.com/port8.jpg" /></div> Blog yes THIS IS JUST A STORY :P


i am a sick man.

i have trouble sleeping, a soft sleep...there weren't many bodies hanging around here, not as many as i'd hoped for.

the day is opening its eyes.
i still feel like shit, after sleeping all day...and waking to nothing...sleeping and waking to yearning.

i am a sick man.

an empty man.

this loneliness is fleeting, wrap your arms around me now, for it shouldn't be long and i will not soon forget it...
i will not soon forget it.

i had better not branch out like once before, tea makes the soul a rich and vivid garden, all those roots i'd dug up and chopped into pieces. and they grew back, but they grew far from me. i met a woman on my way home the other night, with shocking hair and a silent smile. she reminded me of gloria swanson.

where am i going?

home.

a titter somewhere behind me, perhaps a rat. why?

why what?

why are you going home?

nothing else to do. i walked.

i haven't cried in months...which is good, cause men don't cry  anyway. it's been a while since i've last sinned with flesh other than my own; laying in the bed of a woman i'd met online, she'd only wanted me for my cock, she had problems deeper than my own. i sought to fix her, but she wouldn't even let me try. her short hair falling over her face as she fought demons in her sleep, i watched her. she'd made me happy, only temporary. i cried when i had to leave her, ended up in a bar with my face planted in a pile of ashes. We live in a beautiful world.
she hasn't spoken much to me since, busy with modeling i guess, she's also a writer. I sometimes wish i hadn't said so much to her, i never let people know too much, they tend too quickly to enjoy the possibility of deception, funny concepts people are.
i've caused too much trouble on the inside.
the emptiness hasn't resided much, my hands are still tough, i guess that still makes me a man. i clear my throat and stretch...there's a certain way to connect to another being. if i ever figure it out, i'll let you know the way to it all. my head hurts slightly. i crack my knuckles and walk outside.

how does one go about purchasing the world?
mirror my soul, i looked at my reflection and watched the deformation.


i am a sick woman, following the secrets in the looking glass. i've worked up a sweat thinking about all the lovers i've crushed and shredded, feeding them to starving revolutionaries in france. for some reason, i know the looking glass has a much better view, someday when i am not so ill, i should like to visit every one on the other side of it. I'd felt his hair in my hands and his head in my lap. i looked down at his sleeping face and smiled, you're just another body in my bed, won't you stay for a little while? i should think my arms and legs will become tired and cold after you've turned the fire down.

i can see the behaviorisms in my self...saviors and -isms never quite suited my fancy. 'either that wallpaper goes or i do.' i closed my eyes, waiting for you to recognize my beauty, for i am sure i am beautiful. and one of these days, one of those bodies will stay. i promise myself. i think this fragile and serene morning [mourning air] will fill my lungs and i cannot wait to breathe fresh again.

come quick, i have to share my pain with you, i have to show you why such things don't matter, in certain intervals, in certain areas and situations. i caught Ishtar at my window once, pushing my crooks and limbs this way and that, explaining why posture and installation could help me rule the world. 'i'd just wanted that carcass to stay for a longer period of time,' i say to her.

well, don't show them the world just yet, let them linger.

do i have to let it linger?

yes.

and i didn't know much else to say, so i sighed. 'i used to run these streets, i used to own this world,'i tell her,'but i'm trying to sell it to a man as lonely as me.'


i am a sick woman.
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70277/#comments 2 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70277 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70277 Sat, 07 Jun 2008 13:07:20 GMT small talk used to make me ill... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70201 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);"><span class="flickr"><span>that all changed since i'm on paccil.</span></span></span><br /> <br /> just got home from a photo shoot: tons of fun. :) i am quite sure this one will be accepted: storyline, cuteness, nudity, great shots. hehe finally got to meet Eric Gottesman tonight...pretty sweet. :P he's so funny and sweet hahaha-i've known all the other P9 members, just hadn't met him.<br /> Diana Phan is a pretty sweet photographer! hehehe. can't say too much or i'll spoil the set. i just hope it's accepted!!<br /> <br /> preparations for the birthday!!!!! so excited about it!! hehehe. seeing my cousin Shafon this weekend and Xavier!!! i am SO stoked, i haven't seen them both in SO LONG!! i miss xavier!! i'll post pictures!!! heheeh he made 1!! i am sooo excited!&nbsp;<img width="28" height="28" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/wired.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> i watched him grow up! :P changed his diapers, babysat him, made him laugh, let him tug on my piercings. i knew him before he had teeth and hair :P hahah. can't wait to see him again. <br /> <br /> <br /> So, wow...<span style="font-size: x-large;">steve apologized</span> for being a douche as of late...WOW. really fucking surprised. i believe i hold the record for the first&nbsp; he's ever apologized to. he asked if i could call him sometime or something and go hang out again<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>...lemme think about it...</i></span><br /> <br /> <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/confused.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> i'm not sure if it's worth it... --<i>as douche-y as this may sound,</i> they <u>all</u> figure out they've <u>fucked up</u> everything with me somewhere along the road. every single one of them has come back, apologizing and asking for a second chance and my forgiveness<img width="50" height="36" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/violin.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />...i am not sure which he's asking for, either way i have to think about it. <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">i'm a wreck</span>, but&nbsp; so is he, a <b>worse one than i am</b>. he acted like such a FUCKface...i know he hasn't changed in this short amount of time, <b><u>but i DON'T hold grudges</u></b>-i just re-think situations and consider my feelings first. maybe i won't expect&nbsp; too much this time...<img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/sad.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> fucking (men)--i'll talk to boogie first, she'll know what to do...fuck.<br /> <br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"><b>&quot;<font class="txt_1">could it be my gucci shoes?<br /> could it be my new hairdo?<br /> could it be my prada pants?<br /> or could it be that<span style="font-size: large;"> you don't have a chance</span>?&quot;</font></b></div> <br /> <br /> Blog yes that all changed since i'm on paccil.

just got home from a photo shoot: tons of fun. :) i am quite sure this one will be accepted: storyline, cuteness, nudity, great shots. hehe finally got to meet Eric Gottesman tonight...pretty sweet. :P he's so funny and sweet hahaha-i've known all the other P9 members, just hadn't met him.
Diana Phan is a pretty sweet photographer! hehehe. can't say too much or i'll spoil the set. i just hope it's accepted!!

preparations for the birthday!!!!! so excited about it!! hehehe. seeing my cousin Shafon this weekend and Xavier!!! i am SO stoked, i haven't seen them both in SO LONG!! i miss xavier!! i'll post pictures!!! heheeh he made 1!! i am sooo excited!  i watched him grow up! :P changed his diapers, babysat him, made him laugh, let him tug on my piercings. i knew him before he had teeth and hair :P hahah. can't wait to see him again.


So, wow...steve apologized for being a douche as of late...WOW. really fucking surprised. i believe i hold the record for the first  he's ever apologized to. he asked if i could call him sometime or something and go hang out again...lemme think about it...

i'm not sure if it's worth it... --as douche-y as this may sound, they all figure out they've fucked up everything with me somewhere along the road. every single one of them has come back, apologizing and asking for a second chance and my forgiveness...i am not sure which he's asking for, either way i have to think about it. i'm a wreck, but  so is he, a worse one than i am. he acted like such a FUCKface...i know he hasn't changed in this short amount of time, but i DON'T hold grudges-i just re-think situations and consider my feelings first. maybe i won't expect  too much this time... fucking (men)--i'll talk to boogie first, she'll know what to do...fuck.


"could it be my gucci shoes?
could it be my new hairdo?
could it be my prada pants?
or could it be that you don't have a chance?"


]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70201/#comments 23 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70201 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70201 Fri, 06 Jun 2008 11:45:16 GMT HOUSE PARTY....june 21st http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70120 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <br /> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> since i want to do <u>SOMETHING</u> along the lines of a party&nbsp; this year</span>, i have decided to fucking throw a <br /> <span style="font-size: medium;"><b> gangsta ass birthday bash (no gangsters allowed)</b></span>. yep. haha. my apartment is NOT huge...but&nbsp; what the fuck ever, you're all invited...i hope we don't get a noise complaint. bring booze and<u> </u><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 102);"><u><img width="45" height="34" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/Hooka.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />bring me weed </u></span>dammit!!<img width="19" height="19" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/weed.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /> i am hopefully getting a raunchy-as-fuck lap dance. my promised burlesque show probably won't happen, cause i&nbsp; don't have enough space. <br /> woooot!!! *pelvic thrusts*....*shifty eyes* <img width="20" height="30" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/nosepicker.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> <br /> and....by the way...<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);">SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS</span></b></span><b><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"> *see below</span></b>...Obama is going to win FTW----photoshoot with DIANA PHAN later today!!! PM me for my address and all that good shit.<br /> <br /> <img alt="" src="http://www.deplicque.net/articles/article_img/BarackObama_time_mag.jpg" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes since i want to do SOMETHING along the lines of a party  this year, i have decided to fucking throw a
gangsta ass birthday bash (no gangsters allowed). yep. haha. my apartment is NOT huge...but  what the fuck ever, you're all invited...i hope we don't get a noise complaint. bring booze and bring me weed dammit!! i am hopefully getting a raunchy-as-fuck lap dance. my promised burlesque show probably won't happen, cause i  don't have enough space.
woooot!!! *pelvic thrusts*....*shifty eyes*


and....by the way...SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS *see below...Obama is going to win FTW----photoshoot with DIANA PHAN later today!!! PM me for my address and all that good shit.


]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70120/#comments 20 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70120 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70120 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:41:12 GMT map of the problematique http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70005 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious Tarsem's <i>The Fall </i>is an <b>AMAZING</b> film (i don't like this story. why are you making everybody die?).<br /> <br /> i am not going to say much more because i'll end up writing about 3 pages about it. the film is so beautiful.<br /> and so was the snack guy at the california theatre ^-^ haha.<br /> <br /> i got too shy to ask for his number...:( i hate when that happens. i never used to do that...<br /> i am probably not going to have a party for my birthday, seeing as how i cannot seem to find a venue. If i do it at the Center for Sex and Culture, there'd be no drinking unless i got a licensed bartender...i don't have the funds to pay anyone-a friend of mine said she might be able to get a guy&nbsp; to do it for free if people tip him.<br /> i'd need 2 dj's or something...because i'd probably end up renting out 2 rooms-one for performances and one for lounging...cause not every one is going to be able to fit into the one room. i really don't think i have the money to spare. :( perhaps a party next year, with better planning. I AM, however, going to <b><br /> WATERWORLD</b> in <b>concord </b>on the <b>18th of june</b>...FTW i haven't gone in about a year. time for me to go. i <br /> am telling everyone, i don't care who shows and who doesn't I AM GOING. hahaha :D<br /> Photoshoot on thursday WOOT!<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes The Fall is an AMAZING film (i don't like this story. why are you making everybody die?).

i am not going to say much more because i'll end up writing about 3 pages about it. the film is so beautiful.
and so was the snack guy at the california theatre ^-^ haha.

i got too shy to ask for his number...:( i hate when that happens. i never used to do that...
i am probably not going to have a party for my birthday, seeing as how i cannot seem to find a venue. If i do it at the Center for Sex and Culture, there'd be no drinking unless i got a licensed bartender...i don't have the funds to pay anyone-a friend of mine said she might be able to get a guy  to do it for free if people tip him.
i'd need 2 dj's or something...because i'd probably end up renting out 2 rooms-one for performances and one for lounging...cause not every one is going to be able to fit into the one room. i really don't think i have the money to spare. :( perhaps a party next year, with better planning. I AM, however, going to
WATERWORLD in concord on the 18th of june...FTW i haven't gone in about a year. time for me to go. i
am telling everyone, i don't care who shows and who doesn't I AM GOING. hahaha :D
Photoshoot on thursday WOOT!
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70005/#comments 24 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/70005 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/70005 Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:45:20 GMT we've got to meet. http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69753 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <span style="font-size: small;">-this is a bit of an old poem (a few months), but i just rediscovered it in my <i>empire of dirt</i>.</span><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;">the earth is dying faster.<br /> <br /> surely now, you can feel her, raising her haunches, curling her lips.</div> <div style="text-align: center;"><br /> <br /> <br /> she is upset, vengeful and her eyelids grow heavy with sleep. For she is also tired, tired of carrying the weight of every living organism, clawing at her flesh...digging holes in her heart. i know, she is tired, for once, she'd told me so.</div> <div style="text-align: center;">i never meant to be the one to keep the secrets of her turmoil, but every night, i lay my head against her breast and she whispered to me the pains of that day. her hands began to creak as she extended her fingers and thumbs, her body was drying out, she was no longer vivid and painstakingly beautiful. i saw creases and folds everywhere and when she walked she grimaced.<br /> <br /> and for this i was sad, for my kind was the reason behind her suffering. i'd wanted to save her, to end this irrationality, but i was only human and by default i was causing more harm than helping. i was only human and by default i was prone to continuous destruction and by fear-sinking hearts-i could not have been the one to collect my kin and sway them to alternative lifestyles for it was too late, as i was already a pessimist. i forbade my soul to see anymore, and for this, i was only human.</div> Blog yes -this is a bit of an old poem (a few months), but i just rediscovered it in my empire of dirt.





the earth is dying faster.

surely now, you can feel her, raising her haunches, curling her lips.



she is upset, vengeful and her eyelids grow heavy with sleep. For she is also tired, tired of carrying the weight of every living organism, clawing at her flesh...digging holes in her heart. i know, she is tired, for once, she'd told me so.
i never meant to be the one to keep the secrets of her turmoil, but every night, i lay my head against her breast and she whispered to me the pains of that day. her hands began to creak as she extended her fingers and thumbs, her body was drying out, she was no longer vivid and painstakingly beautiful. i saw creases and folds everywhere and when she walked she grimaced.

and for this i was sad, for my kind was the reason behind her suffering. i'd wanted to save her, to end this irrationality, but i was only human and by default i was causing more harm than helping. i was only human and by default i was prone to continuous destruction and by fear-sinking hearts-i could not have been the one to collect my kin and sway them to alternative lifestyles for it was too late, as i was already a pessimist. i forbade my soul to see anymore, and for this, i was only human.
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69753/#comments 18 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69753 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69753 Sat, 31 May 2008 16:37:21 GMT i wish i could eat your cancer... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69684 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Friends Only Journal Noxious Friends Only Journal Blog yes Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69684/#comments 26 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69684 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69684 Fri, 30 May 2008 21:15:54 GMT how i love my rolling sailor when he's on a rolling sea... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69583 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <i>JUNE 14th WHITE WALLS GALLERY</i>...i'm going to an <b>amazing</b> art opening...&nbsp;<u> AMAZING</u>! i've even decided to get two or three of the artists pieces tattooed on me! they're so intensely beautiful. i talked to mum, she's really proud that i've gone up to the school finally, i am quite proud of myself as well. I wish i could share my happiness with someone *looks around...* cheeky is sure to be around here somewhere... <br /> <br /> tomorrow i'm chillin like a hippie, going to a park to sketch and write. long ago, i'd written a story about my lovely wife izz (we aren't really married...though legally we could be<img width="23" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/dancing_fire.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />...i may ask her...:P) and we kept fighting a little while after i'd written it (due to untimely events)...and i'd become so annoyed with her i didn't want anything to do with her...til i read it again last night. brought tears to my eyes, for a while i'd forgotten how much i adored her. i always seem to do that with the people i love. i get so wrapped up in my own turmoil. <br /> <br /> i'm going to be with her possibly this weekend, i need to get inspired. she always moves my hands in the way of creation. <br /> hatred is overrated. remember that shit.<br /> my little brother has yet to go back to his father's house...he's coming to stay with me for a while...if it isn't one thing...it's another. mum says he has to go back soon, cause he's a minor...which is true. he needs to settle shit with his dad. <br /> *obnoxious SIGH*...when will things be normal??? soon perhaps?...<br /> <br /> i almost can't wait to get my crazy ass into therapy. i'm too quiet about the noise in my head. i'm not sure who'd like to stay around long enough to listen, you know?<br /> ...i'm trying to figure out how to save a video sent from my phone a video on my computer...<br /> Blog yes JUNE 14th WHITE WALLS GALLERY...i'm going to an amazing art opening...  AMAZING! i've even decided to get two or three of the artists pieces tattooed on me! they're so intensely beautiful. i talked to mum, she's really proud that i've gone up to the school finally, i am quite proud of myself as well. I wish i could share my happiness with someone *looks around...* cheeky is sure to be around here somewhere...

tomorrow i'm chillin like a hippie, going to a park to sketch and write. long ago, i'd written a story about my lovely wife izz (we aren't really married...though legally we could be...i may ask her...:P) and we kept fighting a little while after i'd written it (due to untimely events)...and i'd become so annoyed with her i didn't want anything to do with her...til i read it again last night. brought tears to my eyes, for a while i'd forgotten how much i adored her. i always seem to do that with the people i love. i get so wrapped up in my own turmoil.

i'm going to be with her possibly this weekend, i need to get inspired. she always moves my hands in the way of creation.
hatred is overrated. remember that shit.
my little brother has yet to go back to his father's house...he's coming to stay with me for a while...if it isn't one thing...it's another. mum says he has to go back soon, cause he's a minor...which is true. he needs to settle shit with his dad.
*obnoxious SIGH*...when will things be normal??? soon perhaps?...

i almost can't wait to get my crazy ass into therapy. i'm too quiet about the noise in my head. i'm not sure who'd like to stay around long enough to listen, you know?
...i'm trying to figure out how to save a video sent from my phone a video on my computer...
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69583/#comments 6 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69583 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69583 Thu, 29 May 2008 08:50:52 GMT oh i know a dirty word... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69447 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <span style="font-size: large;"><br /> i'll be back in school this fall, surely ^-^</span><br /> <br /> going to visit rusty today, my first time seeing her since her boyfriend's death...i miss her a lot.<br /> dan sent me a text last night, he's in idaho right now, on his way to another state, comes back in july...gonna miss my birthday the jerk...he promised he'd make it up...haha...<br /> <u>nothin like free weed!!!</u> ^-^---&gt;my precious dee-licious gave me some last night...totally stoked. haha i loves him soo much! i can't seem to login&nbsp; to my modeling myspace...fucking lame...they haven't deleted it, as i can still go to it from my&nbsp; personal myspace...fucking myspace douche bags... <br /> mum is coming back out here soon, so stoked, about 2 more weeks!!! and i need to figure out what to do for my birthday....<br /> so, francesco wants to have lunch with boogie and i...well, both francesco's and ciello....STOKED! hahaha ...hmmm...i didn't know italian guys liked black chicks this much hahahhah...*ponders* i told mum i liked the older one....she laughed at me...i don't think she took me seriously..he's 33. hahahh <br /> set shooting with Diana Phan next thursday! i've been wanting to work with her for SO long!<br /> &nbsp;<a rel="tag" class="member" href="http://deviantnation.com/members/stvalentine">StValentine</a> owes me in october...*patiently waits*<br /> <br /> <br /> -noxious, noxious.<br /> Blog yes
i'll be back in school this fall, surely ^-^

going to visit rusty today, my first time seeing her since her boyfriend's death...i miss her a lot.
dan sent me a text last night, he's in idaho right now, on his way to another state, comes back in july...gonna miss my birthday the jerk...he promised he'd make it up...haha...
nothin like free weed!!! ^-^--->my precious dee-licious gave me some last night...totally stoked. haha i loves him soo much! i can't seem to login  to my modeling myspace...fucking lame...they haven't deleted it, as i can still go to it from my  personal myspace...fucking myspace douche bags...
mum is coming back out here soon, so stoked, about 2 more weeks!!! and i need to figure out what to do for my birthday....
so, francesco wants to have lunch with boogie and i...well, both francesco's and ciello....STOKED! hahaha ...hmmm...i didn't know italian guys liked black chicks this much hahahhah...*ponders* i told mum i liked the older one....she laughed at me...i don't think she took me seriously..he's 33. hahahh
set shooting with Diana Phan next thursday! i've been wanting to work with her for SO long!
  owes me in october...*patiently waits*


-noxious, noxious.
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69447/#comments 22 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69447 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69447 Tue, 27 May 2008 21:26:56 GMT a no go... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69201 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious on the set. i'll have to wait til june to shoot another one. which isn't so bad...i guess. ummm..i just woke up...after falling asleep at about 5p yesterday.&nbsp; i woke up a few times randomly, with rozz sleeping on the back of my neck....? hahaha what a freak...i love her so much! so i haven't got in touch with my friend rusty, i had decided to&nbsp; give her a day of rest...i mean...losing a boyfriend is big...it's like losing a best friend...:( i hope she's well. i'll probably call today. what really sucks is that my boss posted a sign telling everyone about it (so we could collect money for her) it's a good and bad thing. rusty didn't want everyone to know...therefore my boss is somewhat of an idiot. my surface bar is giving me a ton of&nbsp; trouble...i have no idea what's wrong...but i'm just going to continue treating it for a few more days, if it's still bothering me i'll&nbsp; pay dee a visit. i don't even really care about anything right now...this weather blows too much...and it's too early. it's too fucking cold to leave bed...but work beckons...last day of work this week...i can do it...i believeeeee in me! my body hurts a lot. <u>affection is key. </u><br /> Blog yes affection is key.
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69201/#comments 19 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69201 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/69201 Sat, 24 May 2008 13:44:45 GMT mother mary.... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68995 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <br /> help me stray from temptation...<br /> <br /> <img width="214" height="286" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/122815/" alt="" /><img width="216" height="288" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/122816/" alt="" /><br /> <br /> <img width="280" height="210" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/122817/" alt="" /><img width="245" height="185" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/122818/" alt="" /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="font-size: medium;"> oh god...seriously...not into temptation...not into temptation....(oh somebody help...<img width="19" height="24" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/rollseyes.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />). on a side note**<br /> <span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Courier New;">PATIENTLY</span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> </span></i>waiting on a word back...cause my set is in </span></span><a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/gwindylyn's" class="member" rel="tag"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="font-size: medium;">Gwindylyn's</span></span></a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"><span style="font-size: medium;"> hands. FUCK YES!</span></span><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes help me stray from temptation...











oh god...seriously...not into temptation...not into temptation....(oh somebody help...). on a side note**
PATIENTLY waiting on a word back...cause my set is in hands. FUCK YES!
]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68995/#comments 9 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68995 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68995 Wed, 21 May 2008 20:18:57 GMT *sighs* http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68798 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious FINALLY! jenn sent the photos to <a rel="tag" class="member" href="http://deviantnation.com/members/gwindylyn">Gwindylyn</a> tonight....<br /> geeeeeez <img width="29" height="25" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/halm.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> i've had a few photographers contact me about shooting a DN set...so i'm pretty much alright as of late...i think we're going to shoot in June mostly, one of them just hurt his back (OH NO:/) so we aren't shooting until&nbsp; mid-june, which is fine because the set i want to shoot with him will take some preparing...hehehehe *rubs hands together*<br /> <br /> at the moment, i am again looking for contortionist classes and gigs as well as aerial and trapeze training...possibly burlesque. i have a few friends into it, so i'm gonna tap into my friggin resources.&nbsp; oh yahhh. this week i am also going to do something i've been putting off for way too long...visit the school to see what's up. i've also made a very important decision, i think i might leave my current job (which will make me so sad because that job is amazing!!) for another job, closer to home...give a little, take a little. it would save me more money and i'm not sure how much psychological damage i have endured working there thusfar...more than likely no more than i already had. i will really miss it when i leave.....fuck <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/crying.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" />.&nbsp; i should be sleeping...the first day back to work is later on. why can't i sleep?? lame. <br /> <br /> i'm talkin to Lee. right now....she's sooooo awesome and fucking beautiful!! she's thinking about moving to America...*STOKED*<br /> <span style="font-size: x-large;">my life is amazing...<span style="font-size: medium;">i'm so grateful to have what i have.</span></span><br /> <br /> <br /> striped bendy straws. <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Gwindylyn tonight....
geeeeeez

i've had a few photographers contact me about shooting a DN set...so i'm pretty much alright as of late...i think we're going to shoot in June mostly, one of them just hurt his back (OH NO:/) so we aren't shooting until  mid-june, which is fine because the set i want to shoot with him will take some preparing...hehehehe *rubs hands together*

at the moment, i am again looking for contortionist classes and gigs as well as aerial and trapeze training...possibly burlesque. i have a few friends into it, so i'm gonna tap into my friggin resources.  oh yahhh. this week i am also going to do something i've been putting off for way too long...visit the school to see what's up. i've also made a very important decision, i think i might leave my current job (which will make me so sad because that job is amazing!!) for another job, closer to home...give a little, take a little. it would save me more money and i'm not sure how much psychological damage i have endured working there thusfar...more than likely no more than i already had. i will really miss it when i leave.....fuck .  i should be sleeping...the first day back to work is later on. why can't i sleep?? lame.

i'm talkin to Lee. right now....she's sooooo awesome and fucking beautiful!! she's thinking about moving to America...*STOKED*
my life is amazing...i'm so grateful to have what i have.


striped bendy straws.

]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68798/#comments 12 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68798 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68798 Mon, 19 May 2008 10:11:45 GMT SO happy! http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68663 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious the ashtray girl...<br /> <br /> needs a reason<br /> is hungry<br /> has a cat<br /> loves her roomie<br /> writes too much<br /> thinks too much<br /> fucks shit up<br /> loves her family<br /> hates your weak hands.<br /> is bored and tired of laments<br /> adores mark strand<br /> thinks of critical mass<br /> couldn't ever love it more.<br /> has too many things to say<br /> doesn't have enough to say<br /> must do something about these eyes<br /> has found another necklace<br /> gives apologies to the queen mary<br /> had her head just right.<br /> doesn't know how to end this list<br /> has enough passion to share<br /> is creating again<br /> wants to show you what's in her hands <br /> is having everything go her way<br /> wants you to ignore her fits<br /> is listening to wolf parade<br /> had her head just right. <br /> is not a fucking mess.<br /> has been writing a lot more slowly.<br /> hates indecisiveness<br /> is sorry about the dark.<br /> has had too many tea parties.<br /> is so fucking wrong, she cant tell her hands from her feet.<br /> throws rocks at the sky.<br /> is staring at lousy pictures of you.<br /> knows this is too long but she cannot stop.<br /> gives up, you win.<br /> knows about the angel with its wings on fire.<br /> can no longer stand on her head.<img alt="" src="http://silencio.weblog.com.pt/images/eyes/Joel-PeterWitkin-LeBaisier.GIF" /><br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
needs a reason
is hungry
has a cat
loves her roomie
writes too much
thinks too much
fucks shit up
loves her family
hates your weak hands.
is bored and tired of laments
adores mark strand
thinks of critical mass
couldn't ever love it more.
has too many things to say
doesn't have enough to say
must do something about these eyes
has found another necklace
gives apologies to the queen mary
had her head just right.
doesn't know how to end this list
has enough passion to share
is creating again
wants to show you what's in her hands
is having everything go her way
wants you to ignore her fits
is listening to wolf parade
had her head just right.
is not a fucking mess.
has been writing a lot more slowly.
hates indecisiveness
is sorry about the dark.
has had too many tea parties.
is so fucking wrong, she cant tell her hands from her feet.
throws rocks at the sky.
is staring at lousy pictures of you.
knows this is too long but she cannot stop.
gives up, you win.
knows about the angel with its wings on fire.
can no longer stand on her head.

]]> Noxious Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68663/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68663 http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68663 Sat, 17 May 2008 05:52:03 GMT but she looked good in ribbons.... http://deviantnation.com/members/Noxious/68592 [Deviant Nation] Noxious's Journal Noxious <span style="font-size: