[Deviant Nation] SatansMonkey's Journal

Im gonna be

SatansMonkey — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:24:30 GMT

A Daddy!!! Yeah the wife is all knocked up as you all know already wooot (im not supposed to say ewwww babies )

in a short way

SatansMonkey — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 04:48:19 GMT

I am not gonna rant for hours about the election or anything, i think enough people have explained what they dont like about the president elect and all that noise...

So this is me hoping Obama does SOMETHING that is good for this country unlike what we have gotten the last 8 years....bush fucked us pretty hard there ........

to anyone who thinks i didnt research the prez possibles and that i made my choice based on some dumbass idea that racism would evaporate upon obamas election...fuck you...i thought long and hard about my vote...and i am glad i voted the way i did...i hope america benefits from our new prez to be.....complaining wont do anything anyway

anyway....im tired...going to bed, nighty night kids

we has

SatansMonkey — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:26:01 GMT

internets

so yeah

SatansMonkey — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:21:06 GMT

i survived the trip to ohio in my P.O.S. van, blew a tire in KY and lost most of my stearing in cinci, drove 30 mph from cinnci to dayton with the crap stearing, then everything else has been a fun bit of blended together noise and stuff, somehow found a job making prevailing wage (which for painters in ohio is 22 bucks an hour) im painting a college and work for a lame not my style kinda company, but they pay me fuckall awesome money and i cant bitch about that....the hours are good i have weekends off the whole weekend i honestly dont know how to act....ummmmmthe wife got a awesome job with bath and booty works doing,..stuff....dont actually know what she does other then bring home samples of stuff and i think she answerrs phones...ummmmmmmmmyeah we have a house in huber which makes the wife happy i like the house its close to all the wifes friends and stuff and its only ten minutes from my family so we are liking the house i even get my own room wooohooo married with my own room...now if we only had furniture we left almost everything we own in florida so yeah we have stuff, books out the ass and nothing to put our stuff on my mom lent us a mattress to sleep on which is awesome cuz its not the floor...................ummm i think thats it hope all you peoples are good and when we finally get the internet on at our place ill be on more and crap like that

Heading out

SatansMonkey — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:50:08 GMT

So early tomorow morning i am heading up to Ohio so if any of you nice DN folks see me and my ugly van broke down on the highway....honk hehehe hopin the van can make it ohh welll see ya in the funny pages ill be on I 75 all day tomorow =)

Moving

SatansMonkey — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:36:12 GMT

Yeah so the wife and i decided to move back to ohio while we were on vacation.....I hate florida she hates florida...we have been broke scince we got here, and its just all around been a shitty 4 years here....So we are gonna go back to the land of affordable housing and normal jobs, where i can work a normal work week without busting my balls, and my back, to make ends meet. I feel kinda bad about bailing on my boss, but he knows and understands why i cant stay here...

In like 14 to 21 days i will be heading up to ohio with my van loaded down with as much crap as i can cram into it, to get a jopb, set up a bank account, get a place, and be ready for when the wife can transfer in October, as we cannot ever seem to save money here, i will be living there with my family to save up some cash for the deposit and rent and all that jazz...

I know alot of people think i am stupid for bailing on my apprenticeship, but im not giving up on painting or anything, as soon as i get my GED up there in ohio, i can get a union job, then the four years spent here will actually be turned into some form of like trade school college credit...so says the union guy i spoke to on the phone while we were there....

And the other reason i dont mind giving up the last four years is, well you'd have had to see Danielle for the last four years being all miserable here...then see her in Dayton after just one day to know why i dont care about my job more then my wife...

And with that.... im off to go try and sort through my crap to get our packing down to a minimum of stuff

im leavin on a jet plane

SatansMonkey — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:36:36 GMT

yep its only a couple of hours away til we head out to tampa jump on a plane and haul ass to ohio for a week....yay for not being in goddamn shithole florida!!!!cant wait....if anyone from up there is bored and free for the next 7 days i am sure the wife and i will have time to hang out so shoot us an email...guess thats all gotta get packed up

blood and pancakes

SatansMonkey — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:59:31 GMT

so i have the day off today and the wife and i decided to go to breakfast at the local Ihop...good breakfast...shitty service....then its off to the walmart to get some banking done, as well as get some useless plastic crap....so we pull into walmart, and behold its the big red bus!
i am all for donating my blood to keep people alive...
cuz i know one day, my clumsy ass will need some blood when i get myself in the hopsicle....so the wife and i are all like "hey lets go donate blood" and so we do....
and all is well until we get off the bus....Danielle gets a lil woozy (perfectly normal) so she stops...the gets back up and we take a couple more steps and shes about down for the count...
the blood donor people saw her crash and came out to get her back in the bus and stuff so i went to get the car as she couldnt stand or nothing soon as i pull up with the car, she goes out completely..
eyes wide open, glazed over no response to anything....so me and the phlobotomists are trying to revive her and all that i was talkin to her and tryin to wake her up and finally she comes around, mad about being woke up...shesaid she thought she was dreaming...but the smelling salts ruined the dream....

so we got her back in the big red bus....cooled her down with ice packs and water and she was talking and everything and after she got her color back we got in the car abandoned our errands, and went home...shes laying here sleeping now...guess she wont be donating blood anymore....
scared the shit out of me though...thought it was time for a 911 call for sure...but shes ok and everythign is fine...im moments from going to buy some mac and cheese cuz shes hungry

do you drive a dodge?

SatansMonkey — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:24:43 GMT

this is for all the dumb rednecks in florida, i never realised the connection...but damn its awesome...think i will go buy me a dodge

i went for a bike ride

SatansMonkey — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 20:31:59 GMT

And i went 27 miles round trip....rode to the wife's job, we had lunch at slob evans, then i rode home.....took me an hour and 20 minutes each way, was kinda fun

i have decided that biking is the best way to really experiance a city, i never realised how much ocala smelled....damn it stinks here, like trash and decay and old grease and feet , its disgusting....

but yeah no one thought i would make it to her job by her lunch break, and the mother in law thought i was crazy (no way im not crazy) but a little exercise is good for you....as i sit here now stuffing my face with chocolate covered raisins and mt dew....

im also working on building the wife and i a canopy bed, all wood and whatnot, just have to borrow a saw and some other misc, tools that i dont have the money to buy...i got the wood for free, its really nice white maple, just have to build the thing....

other then that nothing much goes on in my little world...

stay cool & stay in school kids

im tired

SatansMonkey — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:30:44 GMT

so i worked like 71 hours this week...exhausted...hungry...and i have no mountain dew....grrrrr....

im gonna open ta resturaunt

SatansMonkey — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:13:36 GMT

cuz i make crappy chinese food just like they do at the chinese buffets mwuhahahaha...sad part is i dont even like chinese, justy couldnt think of anything i hadnt made recently so i was all like "shit! i will make chinese!!!" so i did, its ok for chinese foods....its technically chicken pork beef chow mein cuz i didnt know what every one would want, so i made all three meats....mmmm meats.... ok after watching my cat eat bamboo shoots, i think i have finished ,y journallly goodnes s for today... later home skillets

today is my day off

SatansMonkey — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:36:22 GMT

so i have spent all morning doing nothing but going through websites....the wife is at work and in about an hour i am gonna head up there and we will have lunch together...then i think i will stop somewhere and get myself more mt dew as i have none....then i am gonna come home again and try to learn words to songs for the band so i have them for practice tomorow....speaking of band practice....i may be a big ass snob when it comes to music, but does anyone agree that having long hair means you have to like hair metal? cuz i HATE hair metal, there are very few bands i liked from back then being twisted sister, qiet riot, and i think thats about it, but the guys in the band keep pushing motly cru and van halen down my throat like they are the best bands ever....and they actually said "but you have long hair, you should cut your hair off if you dont like hair metal" wtf? i have long hair for 3 main reasons, 1 bitches love it, 2 IM LAZY, and haircuts mean maintanace, and 3 i like it long, cuz i look stupid with short hair....it has nothing to do with my musical preferance....grrr!

the wife thinks i am like Randal from Clerks, as i hate everything and think everyone is stupid but i dont really think everyone is stupid...just most people...luckily she puts up with me being such a jerk hehehe

and other then all that useless nonsense i dont have much to say....hope everyone has a good day

ohh yeah happy fathers day to all the daddies out there....and a belated happy bastards day to those of you like me who didnt have a good father figure person =) (bastards day was friday)

my firstest vlog

SatansMonkey — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:09:36 GMT

i liked it much better when you just pretend

SatansMonkey — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 00:40:31 GMT

yeah i like that line from that song....im just listening to some she wants revenge...just got off the phone with Mom (for those who dont know not the egg doner but the woman i actually care for) shes sick again....shes almost as bad as Danielle...i think i mighthave actually married my mom hehehe...but yeah so i am incredibly out of it with my mood today, aside from work, which is an overwhelming nightmare that i cannot escape, home hasnt been pretty either, the wife and i got into it about me working too much, and yes she's right i do work to much, and yes i am right that we need the money....so it was a draw on the debate, left us both very unhappy, i am going to try for more time off when this massive ass amount of wood i have to make pretty is done so the wife dosent hate forever.....but everything else at home has gotten so stupid that i cannot help but shake my head, and shut my mouth in fear of screaming insanely...i am sick to fuckin death of being stressed over this moronic bullshit...and i dont know what to do about it and i dont even know if i should care...but regardless, its stressfull and i hate it ....if i ever find that goddamn drama llama, i will kill it with my bare hands and make a fucking throw rug out of its hide.....and remember if you kill the drama llama and make a rug out of it, and you spill some thing on it, you dab that shit...dont rub, dont scrub, you dab that shit....(thank you denzel washington)

so yeah

SatansMonkey — Thu, 29 May 2008 21:17:26 GMT

If anyone got a bunch of messages from me, im sorry, i dunno wtf is up with my internet, but this isnt the only site i have message issues with, i always have messages on another site and never can read them, dunno whats up with it but if you got a hundered or so emails, im sorry....stupid internet...was very grumpy yesterday though, i am so mentally exhausted with all the drama and BS that happens around here that i dont think i can deal with much more of it....on top of that, work is trying to kill me, i have a MASSIVE amount of wood to stain seal sand and finish by monday, and a boatload more to be finished by the 9th of june....its all big heavy backbreaking boards too of course so i get to couple physical exhaustion with the mental, its awesome....
I know most people would say "be happy you are employed" and i am, i just wish everything i have to do didnt have to be done yesterday....one more at home drama issue and i think i will be at my breaking point....hope you are all having good days =) sorry again about the possible massive amounts of emails....later kids

fuck shit ass balls

SatansMonkey — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:21:49 GMT

i am about done being nice, so fuck everyone who thinks i am a nice guy, fuck everyone who thinks i keep my cool, and fuck you for thinking i wouldnt notice what was going on...eat shit and die....on second thought eat shit and live

well fuck

SatansMonkey — Sun, 25 May 2008 16:53:52 GMT

i hate money....so i had to buy car insurance today, cuz if i didnt the "man" was gonna suspend my license...who the fuck came up with the mandatory insurance idea? cuz i would love to disembowel that bastard....and with having to pony up all the rent money yesterday to keep this shitty little roof over the wife and i's head, i have no got officially -137 dollars! woohoo, and of course i made plans with the wife to have lunch with her today, as she is at work and i just got home from work, but i have no gas, and no money for gas...and my mother in law still hasnt paid me her end of the damn rent, so i now get to call the wife and make her unhappy...yay for shittyness....after that, im gonna shower, clean up a mess that someone or something left in the kitchen (pasta noodley things all over the floor wtf?) and hope my mother in law comes home so i can bitch at her for making me not have money....

how can an adult be so inept

SatansMonkey — Sat, 24 May 2008 20:31:17 GMT

Someone explain to me why a fifty year old woman cannot manage her finances enough to come up with $250 in a month's time, when she has a boyfriend with a job and everything...i am gettign tired of my mother in law having some sorry ass excuse to put off paying her end of the fucking rent each month....every month that we have lived here, i have had to put up the whole rent payment and wait on her to pay me back...im not fuckin made of money....its not like shes poor, she has a job and she gets alimony and i just dont fucking get it....happens again...we are moving.

i went byebye

SatansMonkey — Sat, 17 May 2008 12:14:42 GMT

for like a whole day i didnt have DN so i signed back up =)

i can ride my bike with no handlebars

SatansMonkey — Tue, 06 May 2008 03:42:35 GMT

the song handle bars from the Flowbots may just be one of the coolest songs i have heard from anyone in a long time...the video is almost a tear jerker, its really sad to think that its perfectly honest and that the stupidity portrayed in that video is actualy what goes on..and i would post a link to the video and all that but i am not smart with computers and would only muck it up so search them its awesome

And the award for Douche Nozzle of the day goes to....

SatansMonkey — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:42:43 GMT

The stupid blonde bitch in the voltswagon!!!! OK so i pull into a gas station on my way home from work a lil while ago, and as i drive my van around the pumps to pull into one, i see a nice shiney new Jetta, with the gas nozzle locked in the on position, spraying fuel all over the ground as the tank was already full...and there is no one around! So being the guy concerned about rising fuel costs, and not wanting to be blown up in a parking lot, i stop my van and unhook the pump from the car..then i go over to get my own gas...still no one around the VW gaspiller

Finally as i am collecting my receipt from the machine, some moronic twig walks out looking around like she didnt know what was going on, so i asked her if it was her car, she said yes, and i asked her if she put the pump on and then went inside and she said yes, so i asked her if she was aware of how recklessly irresponsible she was, and if she simply didnt know how to read...and to my surprise she got offended....i normally wouldnt attack a person's intelligence without knowing them, but seirously she went into the store to buy some fucking lifewater, and left her car unattended while it was filling with gasoline....so she told me to go to hell, and i told her she could have killed everyone in the gas station, just because she didnt want to wait to get her stupid drink until after she put gas in her car, and i reminded her that america is in an energy crisis with all things opetroleum based and thanked her for doing her part to conserve, called her a stupid bitch and got in my van and left....

how fucking stupid and lazy can a person be? i probably wouldnt have been so mean if she had come out with a muffin or somethign as she couldnt have weighed more then 90 pounds, but when you leave a puddle of gas bigger then a full sized pickup truck and then just drive away like you did nothing wrong, that to me warrents a good bitch out,

i saw a squirrel

SatansMonkey — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 03:33:27 GMT

and it was like bzzzzzzzzlek cuz while i was at band practice last night we were rocking out on some ACDC and kicking ass and all that when zap boom the power went out...fucking squirrel got in the junction bar thingy for the power line and fried himself..then the people at the power company told me it wasnt a squirrel when we called them, cuz squirrels are in bed by tehn...wtf? stuipd ass electic company they came, knocked the crispy critter out of the pole, turned the power back on, and we lost almost 2 hours of practice time....fukkin squirrels

these chicks dont even know the name of my band

SatansMonkey — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:23:56 GMT

and really i dont like the name much....but i am in a band!!!!! woot!!! im all excited last week some guy who knows Danielle through work asked her if i could play bass for them...turns out i cant, i suck voraciously at bassas i have had no training or lessons but apparently all the sounds of a catamount in heat that i hear when i sing are pleasent to others cuz they had me sing for them on tuesday and told me that i just got hired as their lead singer!!! yes its fukkin dope, only minor drawback is that the band is comprised of drummer bob, age 43, guitar ninja chris, 46 and me 23 yeah bit of a generation gap there but other then that it is all gravy...for the time being we are going to be covering old school stuff like ozzy and acdc no hair metal, and no death metal thank god....but yeah figured i would share my excitedment with you nice homies and homets =)

stupid rain...stupid dirt...stupid work

SatansMonkey — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:08:14 GMT

so work blew, mostly cuz it was a fucking mudhole/lake and by 10 this morning my feet were soaked through and i was unhappy...then to top that off a moronic fucking retard redneck has to start fucking up my work, i was staining a massive 4000 linear feet of cedar , so what does he do? walks up and puts his hands and arms on my freshly stained wood, so he could lean on my drying rack, and as heis moving towards the rack i YELLED hey dont touch that wood its not dry, so he did it anyway, so i had to fix like 5 peices, then to top that off cuz he seems to be like a lays potatoe chip, couldnt fuck up just once, he wanders over to the pile of unstained wood and puts his wet muddy boots on it so he can lean on that; seriously if you are that fucking tired, keep your ass at home, so i yelled again, and he has the balls to say well they already have some dirt on them, and yes they had some very DRY very easily swept off dirt on them, they did not have big globs of fucking mud on them, til he put his foot on them....i fucking hate people...absolute carlessness my job is to make the building look its best, and these morons spend all day fucking up whatever i do...they should be thankful i dont own a gun...assholes...anyways thats all i have the energy to bitch about right now, cuz im sore as fuck and tired and hungry too now that i think about it