[Deviant Nation] Tiger_Wilson's Journal

Normally don't do blogs about my everyday life. But today yes.

Tiger_Wilson — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 16:11:34 GMT

Started Wednesday a week ago, server loses 1 hard drive, idiot who built server built server with RAID 0, also known as JBOD (just a bunch of disks), so all the data was lost. Server was supposed to be backed up. Except the ticket to get it backed up was canceled sometime AFTER we sent it to them. So all the Data was gone. Client pissed. Client doesn't personally know anyone on the Backup/recovery team but they sure as hell know me and my team (Server Engineering) Client throws huge hissy fit. My company over-reacts to make it appear "steps are being taken to rectify this issue" again the Backup team is left alone and they remove my boss.

At this time it is unclear whether they are firing him, or re-assigning him. I feel awful, you see I asked for him to be the leader of this team about 8 months ago. he had been a temporary leader for us and of the 5 temporary leaders he was the only "leader". If he loses his job over this, I will feel responsible, do feel responsible.

On top of that bullshit, the team member I sent to the client for the SOX audit, blew it. So I spent all day friday in a meeting repairing that fiasco. And now the client is asking that that team member be removed from the account.

As if that wasn't enough, one of the largest projects the client has ever undertaken and I am leading implemented, failed on the first attempt due to a technical issue, so we have been rushing around to resolve the network routing issues and get this thing in Friday night.

And just to add stress to pressure the company has announced there will be layoffs next week. And I know who its going to be, but can't say a thing. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

I am thinking being a shell picker/beach comber in some little patch of Belize or Honduras is starting to be and okay way to go.

IF this pressure keeps up, I may snap. And by snap I don't mean rocking in a corner babbling about how they are coming to get me.....I mean in a "I JUST WANT MY PHONE CALL" sort a way.........

Big Read

Tiger_Wilson — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:39:42 GMT

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own so we can try and track down these people who've only read 6 and force books upon them ;-)"

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowlingn (have read 2)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. The Complete Works of Shakespeare (I have it and haven’t finished yet)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger (I think I’ve read an excerpt from this)
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy ( Read about half of it then I died)
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (I read most of this before he killed me with War and Peace)
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. ~~The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown~~ this book doesn't even belong published let alone on this list.
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - A.S. Byatt

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker (I’ve read excerpts and watched the movie)
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - E.B. White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hug

My Best Friend Ever.

Tiger_Wilson — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:42:35 GMT

I am sitting here on the couch with my best friend ever. This and in bed are where my best friend and I have spent most of the great times we have had over the last 10 years.

I am going to tell you about my best friend because she deserves it.My best friend never tires of watching me play Xbox though she doesn't play it herself. She loves to watch movies with me even the ones that suck and she never says a word about my choice of movies. My best friend wakes me in the morning by tickling me, she knows just when to reach out and touch me when I am feeling down. I can tell my best friend any secret in the world and she would never repeat it. She never holds a grudge even when I might snap at her out of anger. Her unconditional acceptance of me, and the obvious love she shows me when I am at my worst, is the purest representation of God if there is one. I am telling you about my best friend because this is my last weekend with my friend. On Monday I will hold my friend as a lethal injection will drift her off to the final sleep because of failing kidneys. My best friend V will be no more, and I doubt that I will ever be whole again until I myself leave this world to join her in my final sleep.

My friend V is a cat, and yet so much more. I bottle fed her from the time her eyes were open and since that time she has been there when I was sick and healthy, she has made me laugh when I thought nothing could make me laugh. She has been my confidant and my collegue in crime. She has been my foot warmer and my toe biter. When she is gone, the sun will seem a bit dimmer, the sky not quite so blue, and the laughter not quite so joyous.

So this weekend my best friend and I will cuddle on the couch, play Xbox, and watch movies and reminisce about the old days. I will most assuredly cry as I am now but it will be crying together which will not seem so bad as when I cry alone on monday.

Tiger

Cypher Visit.

Tiger_Wilson — Mon, 05 May 2008 02:45:59 GMT

Went to go see Cypher today. She is doing better, shes still in a fair amount of pain and is still in ICU. She will most likely be there for another day or 2. Then they will move her to a normal room. It is likely that she will be there at least another week due to all the drains and tubes that need care. Once she gets moved to a normal room she will have a phone and we or Raven will post an update so peeps can call.

We went by her apartment to get her mail and to check on her car for her. It was then that I found out that it was NOT 3 shots fired but 5. And they were pretty sprayed around on the window. Obviously very rapid fire by someone not very good at it....Cypher just got unlucky. She is able to remember more than when she talked to Raven last but I would rather not post that info at this time....not really my place I will let her or Raven post it if they want.

She is feeling well enough to complain about the hostpital and the nursing staff so she is definately begining to recover .

We will be making weekly trips down until she is up and mobile for herself so we can deliver food and anything else anyone might want to send. We brought down a Soduko and some other puzzle/coloring books to help keep her from being TOO overly bored. She is worried about her other bills and things so the $500 that this AWESOME DN group has come up with will be a huge relief for her. By the way we DID NOT mention it, we only mentioned that there would be some food from us and possibly the DN peeps. She was pleasantly suprised to hear that DN was being supportive....at this time she has NO idea just how great you all are. The only reason I did not mention it to her is because it is Lucipteras project and she and Raven should be the ones to give her the news.

Keep her in your thoughts and we will update as we get info.

Tiger

True story I kid you not.

Tiger_Wilson — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 22:46:03 GMT

So the other day I sat in my cubicle in the basement of a large square building identified only as TOC at the Tulsa International Airport. This part of cubeville is not unlike the place they put that guy in Office Space who was always looking for his Swingline stapler. I am trying some breathing techniques to sooth myself, as I feel the homicidal cortex of my brain becoming agitated and like the Hulk you won't like me when my Homicidal cortex gets agitated. I am breathing deep holding it for a few seconds and releasing, I look around at my gray colored cube, my gray 1970's phone, my gray cabinets, my gray desk, I lean out my cube "door" and look at the gray walls interupted only by the clock. The clock.....it says something on it.... I squint as it is quite far away......it definately does not say Timex, or Bulova.......does it really say what I think it says? ZOLOFT? I get up continuing with my breathing.....I walk closer.....it does say Zoloft....I look around and see 4 more clocks on the walls and decide to see if they ALL say Zoloft? guess what? They do...... I walk back through the maze of gray walls and realize this must be how the mouse feels going though the maze......I get to my cube....and I realize NO the Mouse feels better than this....HE GETS HIS FREAKIN CHEESE.....WHERES MY GOD DAMNED CHEESE....Breathe.... I sit down again and hear the familiar little tone I get when an email has arrived in my inbox. Not that this is anything to be remembered I get on average 300 to 400 emails a day. But I see the title " Immediate Policy Changes". My logical oblongata says YEAH!!! they figured out that happy employees are efficient employees!!!!! I open the email and my logical oblongata says "oh hell". It seems that my $100 BILLION DOLLAR company has decided that the costs of office supplies has driven the company near to Bankruptcy. Thats right no supplies orders for the next three months at least. About this time I hear a rumbling through the maze, not the rumbling of a 1000 voices, no more like the rumbling of a 1000 elephants on stampeed. I lean out my gray walled office door and realize I am not far off....its a 1000 people converging on the supply cabinets. Pens, Paper, Staplers (nice swinglines), folders, ink pens, click pencils fly. I think well maybe I will go get a pen or two when the crowd thins. After 10 mins or so the crowd of supply vultures has vanished. I get up and walk over to the mangled contraption that used to be a supply cabinet. Inside it there is a broken spring clip...4 paper clips and a lead refill for what looks like must have been a click pencil the size of those pencils you get in 1st grade with your Big Chief tablet. Breathe.....I can see now that there are going to be Supply Cartels now for the next 3 months. Guys standing out at the smoke hole going psst.....you need a pencil man? I got a pencil. You got some staples maybe we make us some deal, gringo. What you say esay? Breathe........ding.....another email.....Your order for the 1.5 million dollars worth of servers for systems that don't need upgrades are here and we expect you to have them in Monday. BREATHE......

16 things about me

Tiger_Wilson — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:11:42 GMT

1. I have a recurring dream. In the dream I am hunted by my own government as a domestic terrorist they are full movie length dreams. I have had this dream since I was about 12 years old they have changed only mildly in that time. Oh and I rarely remember my dreams but I always know when I have this one.

2. I feel my greatest achievement (other than meeting Peachy) is that I served my country in the USAF (oddly enough for a person who doesn't deal well with authority I did very well ).

3. I cannot abide stupid people. I don't mean people with the varying disablities that can cause reduced development....they can't help how they were born. I am talking those who have no excuse and spend their every waking moment irritating the shit out of me.....unfortunately I work in a company of about 70,000 out of 100,000 who do exactly that.

4. I used to be a flaming liberal. Believed in damned near socialism.....then I learned that no way it works. In order for it to work people have to truly care about everyone else.....and it just isn't in mans nature. I have no faith in mankind.

5. I have very few people I call friends......the ones I do have I would give my life for....oddly enough out of that small number there are 2 on this site.

6. I really like to go metal detecting, I have found civil war relics, and my oldest coin is an 1830 British 1 cent.

7.I had strange pets as a kid, a possum, a racoon, hatched a turtle egg, hatched 20 brown skink eggs, 2 squirrels. I used to ride my motorcycle around with my racoon on my shoulder.

8. I have the ability to empathicly take on someone elses pain or sickness thus relieving them of the symptom......don't believe me? Ask peachy. I am sure it doesn't extend to like cancer or bad hearts but I have done it with peachy in regards to headaches, and other ailments....she gets mad when I do it thought

9. I can't swim....at least not in the traditional sense....I sink to the bottom and run for shore.

10. I have never broken a bone that required a cast (broke the cartilage from my nose a few times and cracked a couple a ribs) and I have never had stitches, and I have never spent the night at a hospital.

11. I wore Forest Gump braces on my legs for about 2 years just after I learned to walk to correct bowed legs resulting from being born with rickets.

12. I HATE dentists. We complain about waterboarding terrorist yet subject ourselves willingly to far worse at the hands of sadists with degrees......only in America. When I was 9 or 10 I had a dentist give me a novacain shot walk out the door ....return in less than a minute or two, grab his pliers and proceed to rip out a tooth (to make room for my adult teeth). I screamed bloody murder and he told me to stop being a baby.....at which point the slightly less sadistic aide told him that it had only been a couple of minutes since the shot was given, to which he proceeded to go get the next tooth until my mother busted into the room. To this day I both fear and hate them.

13. I can make an english long bow with a tree, handsaw, a piece of glass, a pull knife,and a suitable string, I can make the arrows with the same tree, pull knife, pieces of bone, full feathers off most any large bird, and premade tips or make my own arrowheads. I was trained by a 80 year old man who learned from Ben Pearson himself.

14. I was homeless and squatted in an abandoned house for several months during some very dark times for me.

15. My favorite musician of all time is Gary Numan, I got to meet him a few years ago in Dallas. His music has to some degree changed almost in exactly as I have over the years.

16. I have flown in the co-pilot seat of an F-15 eagle.....I passed out exactly 5 times but I never used the puke bag.

Its my Birthday.....

Tiger_Wilson — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:05:50 GMT

So I wake up today and realize yet another year has gone by. And I am again disappointed. Things I hope that will happen each year don't. Here is my list of hopefuls for the coming year.

1. A Vampire offers to turn me.
2 I am attacked by Zombies and I get to use my small but effective arsenal against ZOMBIES.
3. Aliens make themselves known and mankind must unite to drive them off.
4. We have a choice of good politicians to vote for. (I know its the first 3 will happen first)
5. Win the lottery and spend the rest of my days livin in the fastlane.
6. Society collapses leaving room for me to take control of a small area of the former US and become a model leader of how a country should be run.
7. People decide reality TV SUCKS and they go away.
8. Breakthrough in virtual reality and the neXt Box becomes a Holo-Deck!
9. Lindsy Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears are the first fatalities in #2 #3 or #6
10. Pakistan Invades India and all those IT jobs come back here costing the companies that sent them over there WAY more than they saved.
11. Jeb Bush and Chelsea Clinton SWEAR to their God or Godless souls they will never ask us to VOTE FOR THEM FOR PRESIDENT!

I mean come on I'd be happy if just one of these happened! Is that too much to ask?

Governmental Regulation BS has eaten my life.

Tiger_Wilson — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 04:45:03 GMT

First it was fallout from Enron....it led us to the great legislation known as Sarbanes Oxley named after the 2 senators that drafted this absolute piece of shit. Its intended purpose was to make sure that all public companies where transparent enough AND protected enough that financial data could not be kept hidden or falsified to the extent that Enron did. Now this is probably a very good intent but as the old saying goes The Road to Hell is Paved with Good intentions. The guidelines layed out in this legislation is so vague that it is open to an incredible amount of interpretation. As a matter of fact a whole new industry was born the day it was written into law. Major accounting firms like Delloite & Touche instantly hire thousands of people to 1.)interpret the law 2.)help companies implement the law. You may think well isn't that good.....we are protecting our investments as well as creating jobs. Well the last part might be right......but due to the incredible difference in interpretations, depending on which company you choose you may spend several man years in implementing the solution and they STILL have holes Hitlers army could walk through or even worse yet spend little time and money implementing and still be able t o finagle the numbers how ever you want. So in short it protects nothing and waste's money and time.

This year we had a new regulation we had to implement called PCI (Payment Card Industry Standards). Its a late to the party standard for dealing with electronic transmission of critical credit card information. Again a VERY good idea. And this time less vague, but still misses the mark. When will the government stop letting people several decades behind the times make decisions they know nothing about? The time it took to architect "their" solution I could have done in several hours......give me the years in which they came up with it and I could have architected systems that outside of top 10% of hackers could never have penetrated and those guys......well if they want it they are going to get it. Let me give you an example of what we did. We spent a year makiing sure all CC data is encrypted when sitting still in a file, being transmitted to any other system, and encrypting all databases with CC data, restricting access to service accounts that noone has the password to right? but when applications acces these database's/files the app uses this username and password, how does the app get this info you ask? How about unencrypted application config files or unencrypted registry keys. When I brought this up the PCI compliance team they said oh thats okay. Okay so we go to all this trouble to secure this data then leave the key on the table.......

And don't even get me started on how much money companies spent on the Daylight Savings time change........its time we got rid of these idiots in our government who don't know the that the mouse is actually not a shiatzu hand massager and get some of us e-commerce savvy people IN!!!!

Waiting for the next regulatatory nightmare.....

Alex Jones---Endgame

Tiger_Wilson — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:20:36 GMT

Just finished watching Alex Jones's new production Endgame. Now I don't believe everything this guy spouts out some of it is obvious BS. But this new one is not his usual rants about Vincente Fox being able to morph into a green devil. This one focuses on the Bildeberger Group.....A group I have been interested in for sometime now....If there is an iluminati type group this and the Bohemian Grove groups are it.

If even 10% of what Alex comes up with is even close to the truth and I think his percentages are better than that we should all be VERY concerned about what is going to happen in our lifetime and perhaps sooner than later. I have a lot of independant research to do now about Eugenics and the Eugenics movements of the early 1900's. If Alex is correct then it never went away they just changed their names. Also have some research to do now on Darwin......I always considered myself a bit of a Darwinist.....but I may be revising that in the very near future to evolutionist it would appear there is a MAJOR difference between the 2.

Also any of you guys there in Austin ever met Alex in person? If so message me about your personal observations of him......did you get the feeling he's just a crackpot, a patriot with crackpot tendancies, a true patriot if a bit misguided or riddled with ADD ect. If I ever get back down there I am going to try to look him up just so I can get my own perception reading. In the meantime I'll be researching.....

" A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy" Guy Fawkes quoting Hippocrates when asked about the Gunpowder Plot

Scheduled Fire drills and other corporate oddities.

Tiger_Wilson — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:46:13 GMT

Okay so like for the past month at my job I have been getting and extra ordinate amount of Corporate Spam. For those of you lucky enough not to ever had to work for a major Un-American behemoth, Corporate Spam is a term we in dilbert land call the 450 emails a day from HR, Benefits, Dept. of OSHA standards and The dept of spam standards, ect. Well this particular rash of spam has been telling everyone where to exit the building and where to gather depending upon your location in the building in the event of a Fire, Chemical Spill, disgruntled employee with a Sig 229 and an AR-15 and 20 homemade pipebombs because some bastard sent his job to India going on a hardwalled office rampage, oops I don't know where that came from.....anyways, and then we get some last week telling us there is going to be a fire drill today, I guess to see if we actually read the emails. So I am waiting for the damn bell to go off and I am standing outside smoking a cancer stick about 10 minutes before the "drill". And I am seeing the slackers that actually signed up for the special training where at the end of the training you get the super cool little orange see through vest that says yeah I get to slack off and attend worthless training. Now the vest would look awesome on a buxom otherwise topless hottie of which we have at the company (though rarely topless unless they are in their bosses offices behind closed doors) in pretty good numbers but nooooo its old guys and women with bad wigs (on both the guys and the women) who are just biding their time until they die or retire. Now these orange breasted slackers (no relation to the bird commonly called the Robin) are standing by their doors. Now I sure hope that when the real thing happens that whoever starts the fire or rampage or whatever gives us ample time to get setup so that we can get out safely. Because the old man with the bad wig that is supposed to lead our area out.....yeah its gonna take this old guy longer to get his slacker vest and to the door than it will take to let the fire just burn itself out. Wouldn't it have been a better test just to randomly set that shit off and THEN see what happens? Oh well I guess it bodes well for that guy with the SIG 229 and AR-15 I just hope that maybe he gets a couple of those orange breasted slackers while he's at it.

You can never go home.......

Tiger_Wilson — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:48:25 GMT

So for like the 4th time today I have read something or heard someone say "you can never go home" I guess meaning that if you do it just won't be the same and that if you do and its not the same then it would be very depressing. Its a strange thought to me. I have been places I loved and I have been places I hated. I have had times in my life I loved and times I hated and quite honestly some of them were the same times if that makes any sense. And throughout all of these places and times I'm not sure I would want to go back if I could. Unless it was of course to go back and kick Billy Hammer's ass in high school or to actually ask Jaimee Tucker out on a date instead of just standing along the sidelines hoping she might ask me out so that I wouldn't have to deal with the rejection. But I mean those are things I wish I had done knowing what I know now, not a wistful wish I could go back there and stay there. Honestly I wouldn't know what to do cause I've done most of that already. No I think instead I choose to let those times and places go to a memory. Memories are better anyways....you get to forget the bad parts like how the streets of the French Quarter smell like puke and stale piss and just remember the street perfomers/artists and how you got to know a Voodoo priest who took you to a real Voodoo ceremony 2 hours into the swamps and how your normally big talking buddy was sure we would end up dead OR WORSE Zombies :) No don't want to go back only want to go forward and see whats around the bend. Wish I could live forever and travel time and space want to see everything, know everything and never go back. But then maybe thats why I have such few longtime friends they move on and I move on and they become memories and thats good enough for me. I hope they remember me well in their memories and wonder, where is that bastard now, knowing Tiger its something completely different! And I always remember them, sometimes I forget a last name or in the case of military friends I forget a first name (you don't use them much there) but always I see their faces and recall entire conversations and I smile and hope they are doing well and I truly hope they don't want to go home.

Halo 3 and the XBOX Time Warp.

Tiger_Wilson — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 04:06:10 GMT

Be prepared to start telling your friends you know a famous inventor. More famous than Thomas Edison, Nikoli Tesla, James Watts, and even ELI WHITNEY. I have found the answer to long distance space travel and the problem of human aging during those multi-year trips (even at light speed) to our first colonies out side our solar system. Once it was thought cryogenics would be the answer but there's all that space for the giant power plants to keep us frozen and the touchy issue of how to unfreeze us. I on the other hand have it figured out and all it takes is an XBOX 360 and HALO 3. I have spent the last 3 weeks in a HALO induce coma- like (some might call it Zombie like) state where time has no lasting or signifigant meaning. I grab a controller turn on the xbox and tv at say 9:00 pm I play just a little and look at my watch and its 3:00 am. Now I KNOW for a fact I have not blinked more than5 times in that period of time. How do I know this ? Because my eyelids stick to my eyeballs like they are made of velcro.

Thats all for now must save the world from the Covenant.

Tiger Wilson -

GamerTag - Zeta Tiger

Halo 3 rank - Seargent

Voluntary Amputations......I am trying to understand but thats just CRAZY TALK!!!

Tiger_Wilson — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:52:00 GMT

After checking out Stitch's needle play I just started surfing modblog and ran across an interview with a voluntary amputee. Now my first reaction to "voluntary amputee" was okay the guy got in a accident or something and was given a choice try and preserve the limb/part useless though it may be OR just take it off. BUT NO.....his first amputation....yeah first ....there have been many...were self done on his toes with a bucket of ice, Zip tie, and a hammer and chisel. Now to just get the idea of this through my head I go look at my chisels....no urge....I lay a hammer down next to them....no urge....well let me quatify that statement....no urge to amputate myself.....a few others I can think of well thats a different story all together and quite illegal even by international law but I digress though it is an avenue I could go on about all night. I read further.....he has induced an infection to get a mid foot amputation.....he has self partialy castrated himself by exposing his testicle then having issues getting it back in the sac....just cut it off and went to the hospital. His Grand dream is to get a left above the knee amputation along with a partial penectomy.

Okay.....needle play yeah okay I could see maybe even doing that. Suspension yeah I actually have a few cool ideas I would like to do in a scene somewhat emulating the Hellraiser scene in which Frank says " ....and Jesus wept" just before being pulled apart by hooks. I'm not there yet but someday maybe. Piercing ones cock....not for me but I somewhat get that as well. Genitorture fully understand to certain levels up to pain but not disfigurement. And I realize that many would look at these things I would be willing to do as inconcievable to themselves but there is ONE DRASTIC difference nothing is permanently altered to the point of being useless let alone GONE!!! I mean I don't care how high you would get from the self removal of ones penis......YOU CAN ONLY DO IT ONCE THAT SHIT DON'T GROW BACK!!!!!!

So here I sit trying to understand what this guy is thinking. In his interview he is asked have you ever sought counseling thinking you might be unstable? his reply and I quote...

No, I never saw a therapist. I always knew this was the right thing to do. There was no “internal struggle”... nothing like that.

I Believe truly in my heart that this bears out the age old question Do the insane "know" they are insane? the answer is FUCK NO. He has a wife that believes it is all due to bad luck and diabetes. She has no idea that he is doing this to himself. Why hide it if you KNOW this is the right thing to do? Some might argue that plastic surgery is no different. That the reduction of that honker on your face to a smaller Tom Cruisesque nose is a similar in concept. I think about this and think okay maybe you are right......BUT THEY DONT DO IT THEMSELVES WITH A CHISEL AND HAMMER AND A BUCKET OF ICE! not to mention the fact that I don't get plastic surgery either....I wasn't born perfect and no amount of plastic surgery is gonna send me to my grave perfect....nor would I want to be perfect.....way too much pressure. So maybe this guy thinks he had it TOO good and wants to be different? Different is a mindset not a set of physical alterations. My tattoo is for me and an expression of what I like and enjoy......IF you use that same thought process for self amputation what does that say about ones mindset.....instead of I love dragons think I'll get a guardian one to lay across my shoulders....you say you know I think my left foot is not the way it should be lets remove 3 toes with a chisel and see if that evens shit out a bit?

Conservative oblongata has a word to say!

Sorry I just can't wrap my brain around this one........hope my tax dollars aren't going to the health care of any of these people!

hmmmm not sure I like my results!?

Tiger_Wilson — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 06:48:11 GMT

What type of Fae are you?