[Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. Deviant Nation We believe that people who love erotica are more than just faceless members sitting at a computer looking at photos of nameless models. We are a community, a cooperative, a society of people that are more than the dollar amount of their site memberships. We are striving to combine community, subculture, artistic expression and erotica all at once. Deviant Nation satan@deviantnation.com Girls,Pinup,Tattoo,Pierced,Goth,Punk,Rockabilly,emo,Metal,Subcultures yes http://deviantnation.com/girls/thejuanupsman en-us Copyright 2003-2008 Deviant Nation, Inc. satan@deviantnation.com Sat, 15 Mar 2003 07:00:00 GMT Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:45:43 GMT 60 DN Logo http://i.deviantnation.com/i/dn-logo-small.png http://deviantnation.com Deviant Nation 76 144 Nothing http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/81769 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman I have nothing in particular to say. Things are calm and quiet. In a good way. Which leaves me with not much to talk about. But my last journal is no longer true. The headaches are gone. I tried some relaxation techniques as many of you suggested (thanks) and they have not bothered me since. I've just been too lazy to update. That's about it. Nothing else really going on. So pretend this was witty or interesting. Or just ignore it. Either works. Blog yes thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/81769/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/81769 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/81769 Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:36:55 GMT Blah http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/80035 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman My head hurts. I never ever get headaches. And now I've had one that has lasted for almost a week. It kind of recedes sometimes but I think it never really goes away. I'm not even sure it's a headache. It's like a dull ache in my scalp. Seems to get worse with sudden movements or when I am stressed or tired. It reminds me a little of the time I had a concussion. (A garage door fell on my head, remind me to tell you that story some time...actually I guess that's pretty much the whole story. I don't really recommend using the top of your head to catch a garage door by the way. Not that it it didn't work. Just that I am sure there are better ways) So anyway, this feels like how I remember a concussion feeling. But I don't remember hitting my head on anything. In fact I am pretty sure I didn't. I mean, I suppose I could have hit my head so hard that I didn't remember what happened...I know that can happen...but usually there is a period of missing time. I don't have that. Just this dull throbbing ache that won't go away. And I can't seem to concentrate on anything. Which is not a good thing. I already feel like I am not as smart or perceptive as I once was. Things that used to be ridiculously easy now take actual effort. I'm starting to think something might be seriously wrong.<br / <br /> If I end up having to go to a doctor and they don't find anything wrong I'm going to be pissed . I hate that. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes If I end up having to go to a doctor and they don't find anything wrong I'm going to be pissed . I hate that.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/80035/#comments 10 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/80035 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/80035 Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:32:37 GMT Hey http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/79358 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman It's been a while since my last journal and even though I don't have a lot to say I wanted to post something new. Mostly because I was tired of seeing all that negativity when I logged in. I can't say I have a lot going on but things are going well. Been playing a lot of poker and winning a lot so I guess that's good. Don't think I'll be going pro anytime soon though. Not much else going on. Hope all is well with all of you. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes ]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/79358/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/79358 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/79358 Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:00:33 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/78217 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman My life would be a lot easier if I weren't so difficult to live with. I'm fully aware that the problem is me but I can't seem to do anything about it. When people are around I want them to go away. But when I am alone I wish they would come back. Constantly pushing and pulling at everyone around me. Sometimes I am amazed that people still live with me or that anyone wants to hang out with me. <br /> <br /> They must be masochists. <br /> <br /> P.S<br /> <br /> I took this quiz on Aradia's journal. Even it says I'm an asshole. <img alt="" contenteditable="false" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/laughing.gif" /><br /> <br /> <h1><span style="font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 10px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Which Horror Movie Are You?</span></h1> <span style="color: rgb(238, 0, 85); font-size: 18px; font-weight: bolder;">Children Of The Corn</span><br /> <br /> <img border="0" alt="" src="http://content2.myyearbook.com/zenhex/images/quiz2/8825/8825_res8.jpg" /><br /> <a href="http://quiz.myyearbook.com/zenhex/quizreport.php?id=8825&amp;res=8" style="font-size: 80%;">Report this image</a> <br /> <br /> <span style="font-size: 12px;">You're a very deep, dark, intense person. You want to be the leader, you want to be the follower - you are a lamb, and a black one at that. An unthoughtful, unkind person you are, even if you don't want to be. You turned out like this under unnatural circumstances, and whether you like it or not, you will remain cold.</span> <br /> <br /> In other news, I think Alyak got me sick. Damn kids. <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
They must be masochists.

P.S

I took this quiz on Aradia's journal. Even it says I'm an asshole.

Which Horror Movie Are You?

Children Of The Corn


Report this image

You're a very deep, dark, intense person. You want to be the leader, you want to be the follower - you are a lamb, and a black one at that. An unthoughtful, unkind person you are, even if you don't want to be. You turned out like this under unnatural circumstances, and whether you like it or not, you will remain cold.

In other news, I think Alyak got me sick. Damn kids.

]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/78217/#comments 5 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/78217 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/78217 Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:49:48 GMT Damn you Walt. http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77629 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Tonight, for the first time in my memory, I almost lost a trivia based game to my niece and daughter. Normally they won't even play such games with me due to my overwhelming dominance. OK, not entirely true, Alyak will sometimes play. But tonight they were more than willing, they were eager, even arrogant. All because they had found a game based entirely on Disney trivia. Thankfully, despite their both taking an early lead they were eventually worn down by the ridiculously obscure questions. Questions centered around movies we had never heard of, rides never ridden, members of Walt's family and other minutia. Slowly I worked my way back to a 3 way tie and when my niece announced that dinner was ready we all agreed to leave it at that.<br /> <br /> Which of course means I remain the undisputed trivia lord of this household. All hail the Trivia King. <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/smoking.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> I'm getting old though. I don't have the stamina for long games anymore. They wore me out. <img alt="" contenteditable="false" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/laughing.gif" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Which of course means I remain the undisputed trivia lord of this household. All hail the Trivia King.

I'm getting old though. I don't have the stamina for long games anymore. They wore me out.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77629/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/77629 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77629 Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:45:47 GMT Happy Birthday Alyak http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77120 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman I can't believe she is 21. I guess time really does fly. If you haven't already, go wish <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/alyak" class="member" rel="tag">Alyak</a> a happy birthday. <br /> <br /> Other than that things are going well. Hope the same is true for all of you. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Alyak a happy birthday.

Other than that things are going well. Hope the same is true for all of you.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77120/#comments 3 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/77120 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/77120 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 03:18:19 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/74842 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Lately everything pisses me off. I wish I could figure out why. <br /> <br /> And my shoulder is killing me. I probably need surgery. Fuck. <br /> <br /> I've also lost my enthusiasm for cooking. What used to be a pleasure is just another chore. <br /> <br /> Blah. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
And my shoulder is killing me. I probably need surgery. Fuck.

I've also lost my enthusiasm for cooking. What used to be a pleasure is just another chore.

Blah.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/74842/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/74842 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/74842 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 05:05:32 GMT Old http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/72495 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Or at least older. Thanks for the birthday wishes and an extra special thank you to <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/alyak" class="member" rel="tag">Alyak</a> for making sure everyone noticed that I'm getting old. <img width="20" height="20" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/pffft.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Alyak for making sure everyone noticed that I'm getting old.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/72495/#comments 21 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/72495 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/72495 Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:07:35 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/71916 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Sorry, I have not been around much. As some of you already know, my mother, who has been sick, in and out of hospitals &amp; nursing homes for over a year, passed away at the beginning of this month. It didn't help that we have never been close and have lots of unresolved issues. That guilt just adds to everything. And of course the anger. She died as a direct result of the continuous poor choices she made. For a while it really pissed me off. Which only led to more guilt.&nbsp; I just felt trapped in a sort of vicious circle that left me feeling like I really didn't walk to talk to or be around anyone.<br /> <br /> I think I'm past that now. Or at least the worst of it. I'm doing better now I think. I've accepted that I can't change the past and am just glad that my mother was able to finally be free of the pain she was in. I believe that she fought as long and as hard as she could. At the end I was proud of her. <br /> <br /> As a result of all of this I've also had more contact with my family than I have had in years. Including my estranged father and a sister I have not seen or spoken to in years. It's all been very draining. <br /> <br /> I'm also looking for a new job, possibly an entire new career. Of course I have no idea what I want to do. I just know I don't want to do anything I've done up until now. I'd like to explore options in other cities. But unless I want to do that alone it's just not an option. That's causing a fair amount of stress as well.<br /> <br /> Throw in my wife's declining health and a few health problems of my own and I just feel overwhelmed. I've been spending far too much time sleeping. Not enough time doing anything meaningful. And not feeling very social or talkative. <br /> <br /> Hopefully that will change soon and I will talk to you all then. This feels like a good first step anyway. <br /> <br /> Reading: T.H. White &quot;The Once And Future King&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> Blog yes
I think I'm past that now. Or at least the worst of it. I'm doing better now I think. I've accepted that I can't change the past and am just glad that my mother was able to finally be free of the pain she was in. I believe that she fought as long and as hard as she could. At the end I was proud of her.

As a result of all of this I've also had more contact with my family than I have had in years. Including my estranged father and a sister I have not seen or spoken to in years. It's all been very draining.

I'm also looking for a new job, possibly an entire new career. Of course I have no idea what I want to do. I just know I don't want to do anything I've done up until now. I'd like to explore options in other cities. But unless I want to do that alone it's just not an option. That's causing a fair amount of stress as well.

Throw in my wife's declining health and a few health problems of my own and I just feel overwhelmed. I've been spending far too much time sleeping. Not enough time doing anything meaningful. And not feeling very social or talkative.

Hopefully that will change soon and I will talk to you all then. This feels like a good first step anyway.

Reading: T.H. White "The Once And Future King"


]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/71916/#comments 18 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/71916 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/71916 Sun, 29 Jun 2008 04:30:46 GMT Stress http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/69515 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman For the last few days I have been waiting for a call from the nursing home my mother is in. We've said our goodbyes and she's been visited by the hospice services chaplain and given something similar to last rites. Although I don't believe that Lutherans call it that. Amounts to the same thing though. Anointing with blessed oil, the reading of scripture and prayer. I'm not a big fan of or believer in religion but they think she can still hear and from the way she talked when she was still cognizant she was scared. I'm hoping it provided some degree of comfort. <br /> <br /> I'm not sure it's really hit me yet. We were not close. She didn't raise me and I've already lost my grandparents who were the ones who did. I can't imagine this loss hitting me anywhere near as hard as losing my grandfather did. I seem to vacillate between a feeling that when it does come that it will hit me harder than I ever expected and guilt because I have not really felt a sense of loss yet. I don't know if that is just denial or something else. I just feel stressed. The waiting is hard. Going to see her when&nbsp; she can't respond is extremely difficult. Not going is worse. It just makes me feel guilty. <br /> <br /> And I'm angry. Because I know that this shouldn't be happening. She's only 68. That's just not that old. And I can't help but think about how many years she might have left if she had taken better care of herself. It pisses me off. Which just makes me feel more guilty...<br /> <br /> I feel like I should have more to say. Like this journal is incomplete...but everything I write seems wrong. <br /> <br /> I'm also feeling stress over money. Everyone seems to want some...and I just don't have it. I wish I did. I just don't. <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
I'm not sure it's really hit me yet. We were not close. She didn't raise me and I've already lost my grandparents who were the ones who did. I can't imagine this loss hitting me anywhere near as hard as losing my grandfather did. I seem to vacillate between a feeling that when it does come that it will hit me harder than I ever expected and guilt because I have not really felt a sense of loss yet. I don't know if that is just denial or something else. I just feel stressed. The waiting is hard. Going to see her when  she can't respond is extremely difficult. Not going is worse. It just makes me feel guilty.

And I'm angry. Because I know that this shouldn't be happening. She's only 68. That's just not that old. And I can't help but think about how many years she might have left if she had taken better care of herself. It pisses me off. Which just makes me feel more guilty...

I feel like I should have more to say. Like this journal is incomplete...but everything I write seems wrong.

I'm also feeling stress over money. Everyone seems to want some...and I just don't have it. I wish I did. I just don't.

]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/69515/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/69515 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/69515 Wed, 28 May 2008 14:40:40 GMT It's been a week http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68934 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Guess I should update. Besides I'm tired of seeing that crap. <br /> <br /> Unfortunately nothing is going on. Other than I'm tired. Always tired. Pretty sure I am getting sick.<br /> <br /> I suppose I could have posted a YouTube video or something. I'm just too lazy. Plus I think most of those suck. <br /> <br /> Or I could post some long rant that nobody else really gives a shit about. Seems like a waste of effort though...<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Unfortunately nothing is going on. Other than I'm tired. Always tired. Pretty sure I am getting sick.

I suppose I could have posted a YouTube video or something. I'm just too lazy. Plus I think most of those suck.

Or I could post some long rant that nobody else really gives a shit about. Seems like a waste of effort though...
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68934/#comments 4 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68934 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68934 Wed, 21 May 2008 00:26:25 GMT Surveys are dumb http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68345 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman But I am bored and I have nothing else to post. <br /> <br /> Name: Ray<br /> Birthday: July 6th 1966<br /> Birthplace: Minneapolis, Minnesota<br /> Current Location: Hopkins Minnesota<br /> Eye Color: Brown<br /> Hair Color: Dark Brown<br /> Height: 6'<br /> Right Handed or Left Handed: Right<br /> Your Heritage: German, Irish, Scottish, French, Samoan, Cherokee &amp; Seneca. Possibly a few more I don't know about. Not real clear on my Dad's side. Mostly German &amp; Irish. <br /> The Shoes You Wore Today: None. Never wear them unless I have too.<br /> Your Weakness: I have trouble saying no. And I lack both drive and discipline.<br /> Your Fears: The only fears I really have are for other people. I am always afraid something will happen to my daughter or my wife. I fear I will lose more friends to drugs or depression.<br /> Your Perfect Pizza: Bacon, Mushrooms, Black Olives, Extra cheese, caramelized onions, maybe pepperoni &amp; some tomatoes, on a thin crust. <br /> Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Financial independence<br /> Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I hardly ever use IM.<br /> Thoughts First Waking Up: I have to pee.<br /> Your Best Physical Feature: None. I sometimes like my calves, if the rest of me was like them I would have almost no body fat, but I would still look very strange. <br /> Your Bedtime: It varies. I don't sleep much. <br /> Your Most Missed Memory: I can't pick just one. Most involve people who have died. Others people who just disappeared.<br /> Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke<br /> Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate<br /> Cappuccino or Coffee: They are both gross.<br /> Do you Smoke: Not this week.<br /> Do you Swear: sometimes<br /> Do you Sing: No<br /> Do you Shower Daily: several times<br /> Have you Been in Love: yes<br /> Do you want to go to College: I would love to go back. Grad school this time. Anyone want to pay for it?<br /> Do you want to get Married: No. I don't think I will ever do that again. If this one ends I am through with that. Not that it has been a bad experience. Just that I can't see myself ever being able to learn to adjust to living with another person again. I'm not great at compromise, poor at communicating and generally not good at compromise.<br /> Do you believe in yourself: sometimes<br /> Do you get Motion Sickness: nope, I just get sleepy. <br /> Do you think you are Attractive: No<br /> Are you a Health Freak: I exercise a lot but eat poorly. So I guess not.<br /> Do you get along with your Parents: No<br /> Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, I like to ride my bike in them. Also they help me sleep. Always a good thing.<br /> Do you play an Instrument: No<br /> In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope<br /> In the past month have you Smoked: Yes<br /> In the past month have you been on Drugs: Only prescription ones.<br /> In the past month have you gone on a Date: My wife frowns on my dating. . <br /> In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes<br /> In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no<br /> In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes<br /> In the past month have you been on Stage: no<br /> In the past month have you been Dumped: no<br /> In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:<br /> no<br /> In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no<br /> Ever been Drunk: Yes<br /> Ever been called a Tease: No<br /> Ever been Beaten up: Many times. I fought a lot when I was younger. <br /> Ever Shoplifted: Yes when I was younger<br /> How do you want to Die: peacefully, in my old age, but not so old that life has become nothing but pain and misery.<br /> What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Not what I am.<br /> What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland or Scotland.<br /> Favorite Eye Color: I generally prefer brown but the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen were an emerald green.<br /> Favorite Hair Color: I love a dark auburn but only on the right person. Generally I prefer brown or black.<br /> Short or Long Hair: Doesn't matter, depends on what looks best on the person.<br /> Number of CDs I own: never counted all of them<br /> Number of Piercings: none<br /> Number of Tattoos: none<br /> Number of things in my Past I Regret: Too many to count.<br /> Facts - When I was little a lot of people thought I was gay. When I grew up I discovered that many of the people who said I was gay had since come out themselves. <br /> - I had a horribly bad temper as a child. I was very prone to violence and generally destructive and dishonest. As an adult I am even tempered. Perhaps even meek. I sometimes miss the rage I once called upon so easily.<br /> <br /> If this seems familiar to any of you I apologize. It's a rerun with some editing. What can I say? I got nothing else going on. Feeling a little disconnected lately. <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Name: Ray
Birthday: July 6th 1966
Birthplace: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Current Location: Hopkins Minnesota
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 6'
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: German, Irish, Scottish, French, Samoan, Cherokee & Seneca. Possibly a few more I don't know about. Not real clear on my Dad's side. Mostly German & Irish.
The Shoes You Wore Today: None. Never wear them unless I have too.
Your Weakness: I have trouble saying no. And I lack both drive and discipline.
Your Fears: The only fears I really have are for other people. I am always afraid something will happen to my daughter or my wife. I fear I will lose more friends to drugs or depression.
Your Perfect Pizza: Bacon, Mushrooms, Black Olives, Extra cheese, caramelized onions, maybe pepperoni & some tomatoes, on a thin crust.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Financial independence
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I hardly ever use IM.
Thoughts First Waking Up: I have to pee.
Your Best Physical Feature: None. I sometimes like my calves, if the rest of me was like them I would have almost no body fat, but I would still look very strange.
Your Bedtime: It varies. I don't sleep much.
Your Most Missed Memory: I can't pick just one. Most involve people who have died. Others people who just disappeared.
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: They are both gross.
Do you Smoke: Not this week.
Do you Swear: sometimes
Do you Sing: No
Do you Shower Daily: several times
Have you Been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: I would love to go back. Grad school this time. Anyone want to pay for it?
Do you want to get Married: No. I don't think I will ever do that again. If this one ends I am through with that. Not that it has been a bad experience. Just that I can't see myself ever being able to learn to adjust to living with another person again. I'm not great at compromise, poor at communicating and generally not good at compromise.
Do you believe in yourself: sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope, I just get sleepy.
Do you think you are Attractive: No
Are you a Health Freak: I exercise a lot but eat poorly. So I guess not.
Do you get along with your Parents: No
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, I like to ride my bike in them. Also they help me sleep. Always a good thing.
Do you play an Instrument: No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Only prescription ones.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: My wife frowns on my dating. .
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been called a Tease: No
Ever been Beaten up: Many times. I fought a lot when I was younger.
Ever Shoplifted: Yes when I was younger
How do you want to Die: peacefully, in my old age, but not so old that life has become nothing but pain and misery.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Not what I am.
What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland or Scotland.
Favorite Eye Color: I generally prefer brown but the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen were an emerald green.
Favorite Hair Color: I love a dark auburn but only on the right person. Generally I prefer brown or black.
Short or Long Hair: Doesn't matter, depends on what looks best on the person.
Number of CDs I own: never counted all of them
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Too many to count.
Facts - When I was little a lot of people thought I was gay. When I grew up I discovered that many of the people who said I was gay had since come out themselves.
- I had a horribly bad temper as a child. I was very prone to violence and generally destructive and dishonest. As an adult I am even tempered. Perhaps even meek. I sometimes miss the rage I once called upon so easily.

If this seems familiar to any of you I apologize. It's a rerun with some editing. What can I say? I got nothing else going on. Feeling a little disconnected lately.

]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68345/#comments 4 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/68345 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/68345 Tue, 13 May 2008 04:19:08 GMT Hmmm http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/67552 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman If I were to wear a Deviant Nation T-shirt would it make my breasts look huge too? Cuz I gotta tell you I'm not sure I'd be a fan of that look. On me anyways. <br /> <br /> Happy Deviant Nation Day.<br /> <br /> I was going to update with a new journal detailing my exciting night out last night, but I've become a hermit who never leaves the house. Perversely enough this means that I have recently become swarmed with invitations to various activities. All of which I have ignored. <br /> <br /> If you happen to be one of the people I've ignored (unlikely since as far as I know none of the inviters frequents DN) then I am sorry about that. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Happy Deviant Nation Day.

I was going to update with a new journal detailing my exciting night out last night, but I've become a hermit who never leaves the house. Perversely enough this means that I have recently become swarmed with invitations to various activities. All of which I have ignored.

If you happen to be one of the people I've ignored (unlikely since as far as I know none of the inviters frequents DN) then I am sorry about that.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/67552/#comments 10 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/67552 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/67552 Thu, 01 May 2008 23:53:57 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/66732 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Things are pretty good. That being said if I disappear for a while don't be surprised. I may have a lot to do soon.&nbsp; Also my computer is acting up so it might die or at least need some major repairs. So if it's longer than a while that's probably it. <br /> <br /> In other news I am thinking about finally breaking down and switching from CDs to some kind of MP3 player. But I have no clue as to what to get. Anyone have any suggestions? <br /> <br /> Ok, I'm going to go play some poker. Talk to ya later. <br /> <br /> <br /> __________________________________________________________________________________<br /> Mini-update<br /> Things are still ok but they'd be a lot better if I could sleep. No sleep makes me cranky. I've been snapping on everybody.<br /> <br /> .<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
In other news I am thinking about finally breaking down and switching from CDs to some kind of MP3 player. But I have no clue as to what to get. Anyone have any suggestions?

Ok, I'm going to go play some poker. Talk to ya later.


__________________________________________________________________________________
Mini-update
Things are still ok but they'd be a lot better if I could sleep. No sleep makes me cranky. I've been snapping on everybody.

.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/66732/#comments 9 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/66732 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/66732 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:43:18 GMT ??? http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/65527 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Why is everyone talking about penises lately? <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/confused.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br /> <br /> I guess if I was around more I'd know what's going on....<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes

I guess if I was around more I'd know what's going on....
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/65527/#comments 15 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/65527 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/65527 Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:26:53 GMT Non Update http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63964 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Life has not been busy. I have not done anything worthwhile or interesting. I have no excuse for not keeping up with journals or comments. Really I'm not even sure why I am updating other than it felt like it was time. I don't want to be a total slacker around here.&nbsp;<br /> <br /> I thought about doing one of those 16 fact things. Then I realized I don't have 16 true, but interesting things that I feel like sharing. I'll think about it. Maybe later. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
I thought about doing one of those 16 fact things. Then I realized I don't have 16 true, but interesting things that I feel like sharing. I'll think about it. Maybe later.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63964/#comments 8 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/63964 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63964 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:41:08 GMT It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue. http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63323 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman I miss <a href="http://deviantnation.com/members/scarydoll" class="member" rel="tag">Scarydoll</a>. <br /> <br /> I think we have lost her to WoW. <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/images/emoticons/sad.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes Scarydoll.

I think we have lost her to WoW.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63323/#comments 5 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/63323 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63323 Sun, 09 Mar 2008 05:59:25 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63225 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman I've only been up 4 hours and I am already tired. That doesn't seem normal. Been happening a lot lately too. So I broke down and I am going to see my doctor. Who will probably ask me lots of questions I don't want to answer, lecture me about things I already know, and put me back on medications I don't want to take.<br /> <br /> Fuck, I hate going to the doctor. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Fuck, I hate going to the doctor.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63225/#comments 17 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/63225 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63225 Fri, 07 Mar 2008 20:05:40 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63184 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman So, um, what's going on? <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes ]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63184/#comments 17 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/63184 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/63184 Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:27:25 GMT D & D http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/61039 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman A friend of mine may be starting a new campaign. I'm very excited. I've been wanting to do some more gaming for a while and it has been years since I played any D&amp;D. Might have a lot to learn though. Never played 3rd ed. Should be fun. <br /> <br /> <br /> In other news, I think I may be looking for a new job soon. I currently have a rather long commute to a job that doesn't pay all that well, has very mediocre benefits (they used to be pretty good, so the recent changes to them has effectively lowered my pay) and is not as fulfilling as it once was. I'll miss a few of the people there but I think it is time to move on. <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes

In other news, I think I may be looking for a new job soon. I currently have a rather long commute to a job that doesn't pay all that well, has very mediocre benefits (they used to be pretty good, so the recent changes to them has effectively lowered my pay) and is not as fulfilling as it once was. I'll miss a few of the people there but I think it is time to move on.
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/61039/#comments 17 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/61039 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/61039 Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:22:49 GMT Annoyed http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/60942 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman I just accidently deleted my last journal. And lost all the comments to it. I am more than a little annoyed. I need a misclick proof site. <img width="64" height="27" src="http://i.deviantnation.com/i/emoticons/villagers.gif" contenteditable="false" alt="" /><br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/60942/#comments 16 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/60942 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/60942 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:31:18 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59786 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Not much new. Just tired of looking at my last entry. It was depressing me. <br /> <br /> Things are moderately better. I'll update again when I have some good news. <br /> <br /> Thanks for all the kind thoughts you have all been leaving. You are all awesome.<br /> <br /> Hope everyone is having a great weekend!<br /> <br /> <br /> Currently reading: Elmore Leonard - Touch<br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Things are moderately better. I'll update again when I have some good news.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts you have all been leaving. You are all awesome.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!


Currently reading: Elmore Leonard - Touch
]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59786/#comments 5 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/59786 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59786 Sat, 19 Jan 2008 22:12:25 GMT Tired http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59313 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal Members Only Journal thejuanupsman Members Only Journal Blog yes thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59313/#comments 7 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/59313 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/59313 Sun, 13 Jan 2008 03:03:27 GMT No Subject http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/58247 [Deviant Nation] thejuanupsman's Journal thejuanupsman Hey, Guess it is about time for an update.<br /> <br /> Christmas went well. Everyone got along. That's about as much as I can ask for. And I received a lot of lovely gifts. Especially from Alyak. Thanks to her I will have reading material for a long time to come. Not to mention my favorite gift, a new ID case with this picture on it.<br /> <br /> <img src="http://i.deviantnation.com/m/90296" alt="" /><br /> <br /> It's easily the nicest ID case I've owned. Larger than some of the others without being too bulky. And I love the picture. It's not her, but it reminds me quite a bit of Benni. And I find that I quite like carrying something with me that reminds me of her.<br /> <br /> Currently reading: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. This was a childhood favorite. Rereading it now it is even funnier than I remember. I love Twain.<br /> <br /> <br type="_moz" /> Blog yes
Christmas went well. Everyone got along. That's about as much as I can ask for. And I received a lot of lovely gifts. Especially from Alyak. Thanks to her I will have reading material for a long time to come. Not to mention my favorite gift, a new ID case with this picture on it.



It's easily the nicest ID case I've owned. Larger than some of the others without being too bulky. And I love the picture. It's not her, but it reminds me quite a bit of Benni. And I find that I quite like carrying something with me that reminds me of her.

Currently reading: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. This was a childhood favorite. Rereading it now it is even funnier than I remember. I love Twain.


]]> thejuanupsman Blog http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/58247/#comments 5 http://rss.deviantnation.com/comments/journal/58247 http://deviantnation.com/members/thejuanupsman/58247 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:09:45 GMT